A blindman who is walking with a stick, You know whichever direction you move his stick, he will begin to walk.
Because he has no sense of Direction.
It’s the same story with Human Emotions. Whichever direction you move the sentiments, it will get shifted.
No Wise Thinking.
Emotion is a Gift to Humanity, but if it has no direction it’s just a mere Feeling which gets Surfaced with whatever is shown to us.
If you show something in Good light all will say Good. You show something in Bad light all will say Bad. That is why it is easy to Influence Minds.
You can try to put your
feelings & nightmares in a bottle
and throw it out in the ocean
and you hope that it goes away,
you hope that it never
comes back to you,
but it always comes back
and you know it,
it never goes away,
just like sunshine in the morning
it somehow manages
to come back everyday.
I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.
The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.
Memory is a strange thing if you ask me. How many times I’ve entered a room and found myself staring at the wall, not knowing what I came there for.
They say that warning sirens ring just moment before we drown. But you see I’m like Titanic that took 180 minutes to drown. And I’ve been drowning for the past numerous days. Ask a lover and you’ll know that memory is a strange thing. And whenever I’ve tried to let you in it you’ve always clawed your way out and resisted to get back in.
It’s been days since I felt any kind of moisture in my eyes. They say when the heart becomes heavey our eyes let the pain out. But maybe that’s the problem I don’t wanna let it out, none of it. Maybe the pain is a part of loving you. And maybe that’s why no matter how far I go, I’ll always return to this feeling of your presence. Somewhere, deep in me where I’ll sit and let all the memories dissolve into me.
Make your pain your motivation. Make your shame your life changing resolve.
The world is not fair and you may feel harassed, demotivated and let down. The more you feel demotivated, the more the cycle of depression will strengthen. Do not.
Do not feel demotivated. Remember your purpose. Understand your position. Chalk a change path that helps you reach back to shape, form and energy. March on till your detractors become your supporters. March on till your most vocal critics bet the next impossible on you. March on.
You do not need to have all the answers to find your meaning in the world. You can take everything in your life slowly and steadily and still have peace, still have growth.
Life doesn’t expect you to know it all. All it needs is that you be yourself. Grow in your own way without judging yourself, without comparing yourself.
Life bought you here to be you. Unapologetically you!
In the day I walk alone, among the sea of people,
Holding close the solitude of my heart,
The same solitude that rescues me at night,
When each of these people leave one by one.
Believe in yourself and you will find that the world believes in you,
Believe in yourself and you will have all the energy, power and motivation to achieve all that you desire,
Believe in yourself and you can make all your dreams come true.
The first step before anyone else believes you, is that you start believing your own self.
Reminds me of a famous quote which goes like this – ” There is actually no reason to have a Plan B, because that only distracts you from Plan A.”
Even having the notion of Plan B or a backup plan shows that you are not completely confident on your Plan A. The moment you doubt on your original plan is the moment you have failed. The most successful people never had a Plan B. For them, their Plan A was their Plan B, Plan C and Plan D.
May be your plan is not realistic but who cares. Life is never about being realistic, it is about being optimistic.
Friedrich Nietzsche in this statement says that when you go through tough times, you gradually build up the strength for the next painful event. In case of a trauma, it may be quite a comforting thought. But most importantly, how do you feel about this statement? Does it resonate with you, or does it sound cliched?
It can be viewed as a war wound, to heal from a really bad time feeling more powerful and ready to take on the next battle. But with me, that is not quite the case. Especially after rough days and tough times, I find myself weaker and more sad. For me the quote goes like – What doesn’t kill you hurts you incredibly and makes you vulnerable and pathetic.
At times, it happens that a few tough situations help in becoming a stronger person. But the really big things, the things that totally altered my life without my consent, the loss of my most loved ones, the horrible experience of being desperately lonely or panic-stricken with anxiety and such other times have bought nothing empowering in me. I’ve felt my heart shatter into pieces and my soul dry, but I never felt stronger after those days. I was only happy that they were over.
I personally feel that strength doesn’t come from life’s worst moments, rather it comes from the best. Whenever I am loved, I feel strong. I find strength in the times when I’ve been most generous and caring. I find strength when I am able to deal well with the bad days. But I feel weak when I face those gloomy bad days. So with me, what doesn’t kill me, does not make me stronger, rather it makes me more weaker and snatches the entire energy out of my existence.
Talking of the heart and the head debate, you know the head usually opts for the safer option, whereas the heart advocates the risky one. At times, because of this misalignment, it is quite possible to feel divided within the same body.
Your heart is the little voice or the intuition that guides you. When faced with a conflict, your mind may have several logical reasons to act but if you listen to your heart, you are generally more happier, because that is what you actually wanted to do or believe in. The mind which can understand the most complicated and intricate theories, the same mind can be upset over a harmless remark. The mind has no relation with deeper feelings and as a result it creates endless dramas in your life. Mind is the content but the heart is the essence.
In the conflict between the mind and the heart, it is also your emotional state in which you decide, which plays a major role. It is not wrong to follow your heart, but never do so in a state of anger or happiness, as those emotions can cloud your judgement as well as influence your decision. Follow your heart always, but at the same time, do not completely ignore what your mind has to say. A blend of heart and head will bring you closer to the most favorable decisions. You know it is the right decision when the situation satiates both your mind and heart simultaneously.
Resources are never the problem. It is the lack of resourcefulness that causes failure. This is the Golden Age, the era which humanity has always looked forward to, dreamt of and worked for numerous years.
With the onset of internet and the current resources at hand, you can literally learn all that you want and know about any skill you wish to. It is important that you develop your skill-set and become a person of value. Grooming yourself and giving your life a new direction is in your hands. A few years ago, it wasn’t even possible. You are very lucky that you are born in this era, so make full use of it.
Be the best version of yourself. Take out time, learn and educate yourself. Living in this information age, it is the best if you cater to your own self.
So, I am back with my introvert struggles series. If you haven’t yet checked out the previous introvert posts, you can simply click here for it.
I have always felt as an introvert it is sometimes very hard for others to understand what I am thinking or feeling. Communicating things verbally always doesn’t come easy for me and to be honest, I am not very good at being vulnerable. It often takes me a very long time to be comfortable around most people. But soon after I let down my walls and start to really care about someone, I am all in.
You must have heard that – “Actions speak louder than words.” It very well serves as a life mantra for me. If you really are curious as to how the introverts in your life feel about you, rest assured as their actions may speak volumes even when their words will not.
As every year ends, I tend to feel a little less motivated each time. I ponder on the things that I should have done but I did not do, the achievements I could have unlocked but I did not, the job I could have switched but I didn’t; and a huge list with other similar thoughts webbed deep inside. Not that I wasn’t capable enough; I knew that I could but I did not due to my own “n” number of excuses. Actually, it is a regular thing for me, but you know, you get to realize a lot of things when an entire year has passed by and you feel so empty like you achieved nothing.
Feeling scatterbrained af at times makes me irritated. And I guess it is not something which happens only with me. If you feel you are in the same boat; you will certainly be able to relate to my situation. In such cases, it is important to be more mindful. Here’s how!
1. Be more kind to Yourself – Even if you are your biggest critic; try appreciating your own self at times. Know that you are good and give yourself that compliment. Nothing is impossible for you and sooner or later believe in the fact that good times will follow.
2. Your Journey is Yours – Remember to not judge a book by its cover; meaning do not judge people based on their achievements and the place they are today. Do not waste time and energy in comparing yourself with others. Your journey is yours and you know it better.
3. Limit Time for Social Media – Sometimes social media sites can make you feel crappy. Be real to yourself rather than following people in the unreal virtual world. Do not lose your own self in a black hole of depression on Facebook and Instagram.
4. Do What Makes You Feel Good – Realise your worth and indulge in what makes you a better person. You may be in your best form when you are dancing, singing, maybe painting or working out. In the humdrum and cacophony of this busy life, keep your senses alive; keep yourself alive and focus.
5. Be Grateful – Not everyone has what you have, so realize this and be grateful to God. Instead of focusing on what you lack in life, it is important to count your blessings. Life would indeed be much happier!
There are people who like to invest a lot of energy and get a lot back. Some people don’t want to invest a lot and don’t expect a lot back. The people who are deemed the extroverts in pop literature, the people who are social butterflies, what they get back on an interpersonal level is sufficient for them.
As introverts, we need to be aware of this. While small talk is draining for us, meaningful conversations are energizing. They require us to expend energy, but they also give us energy back.
Haven’t we all talked for hours about something we are passionate about, and been at a loss about what to say when we are talking politely with an acquaintance? As an introvert, social conversations can be a challenge for me. I didn’t realize earlier that one of the reasons for this is the difference in the rhythms of how introverts and extroverts communicate.
When we are asked a question, introverts usually pause to think about it before replying. We need this space to formulate our answers. This is different from extroverts, who formulate their answers while talking. Two different identities with their own existence. Isn’t that beautiful!
–Shades Of Life
Tortoises are out of fashion. They are no longer the wise ones, taking one patient step after another, coming out victorious in the end. Today, they are the ones who can’t cross the road fast enough, the ones most likely to get hit by a car.
There is shame involved in being a tortoise.
And so I have spent a considerable chunk of my life trying to turn into an extroverted hare, coming up with rationalizations for why I am not, most definitely not, an introverted tortoise.
For one, I don’t move slowly. In fact, I love to dance. I am quick in perceiving and understanding what people say and mean. I am not slow-witted.
But these explanations don’t quite cover what it means to be a tortoise—how their rhythms are slow and deep, how they enjoy taking in the scenery instead of rushing past, how they need the shell that protects their most vulnerable, precious self.
As introverts, it’s easy for us to get alienated from our own nature because of the extrovert bias in the culture at large. So, how do we reconnect with and start celebrating ourselves? It starts with self-awareness and living our own truths.
–Shades Of Life
So today I was engrossed in my thoughts of my early career days, I had a boss who wanted me to speak up more in meetings and be more outgoing, but with my introverted nature I liked to think things through first and not just blurt out an idea or a response. I was exhorted to be someone I wasn’t and it made me feel defective. Of course I wasn’t defective. None of us are though some extroverts still think otherwise. Nowadays I truly celebrate my introverted nature and have created a lifestyle that feeds me.
–Shades Of Life
I am not alone with my “weird” schedule and feelings about socializing, etc. Every time I try to get on a “normal” schedule, it backfires and I’m miserable – I definitely wind up with my joy robbed. I know emotional trauma from my past has contributed to my inability to “rehabilitate” myself. But without a doubt I was born an introvert. I enjoy socializing one on one but group get togethers are not my thing at all and stresses me to the max. My acquaintances want me to get with the rest of humanity (early to bed, early to rise) but I’m going to have to find the courage to say, No, that won’t work for me. When I try it, I become exhausted and practically unable to function.
A counselor once actually told me that with everything I’d been through, I shouldn’t add one more thing and force myself to “better” my schedule. It was such a relief to hear that. AND, I just happened to see the article today that people who go to bed late and sleep late are likely intelligent and creative people. I’m going to get some mileage out of that one
And then a few hours later I read that it’s okay to live a life that is suited to me, the way I’m wired. I’ve always been in the minority on a number of issues and I need to accept myself for who I am. Love to all!
–Shades Of Life
So folks I am back with the Introvert series. Do give it a read. Hope you enjoy it.
- It frequently happens with introverts that our nights are for overthinking and mornings are for oversleeping.😏
- Me : Interacts with people and have to take a 4 hour nap to recharge myself.😑
- The number of times I think” I do not give a shit “while people are talking to me is really getting out of hand. 😂
- We introverts personally love to overanalyse everything and suffer. 🤔
- I laugh when people try to figure me out. I’m like dude, even I couldn’t do that till date. So how would you? 😐
I guess the struggles of introvert will continue throughout until people accept us as a part of the society, with just a behavioural difference.
–Shades Of Life
Hey guys. So after a long Shades Of Life series I am back with introvert struggles.
- We introverts are amused when people try to figure us out, like really! We can’t even figure us out ourselves.
- So isolophiliac that we often dislike sharing our own time with others.
- Nothing personal. Sometimes we just don’t like texting or talking to people.
- When people invite us : Oh that’s nice! When they cancel: Oh, thank God!
- Why socialize when there is great wifi connection and good food at home!
–Shades Of Life
- How to make small talk with an introvert :
Step 1 : Identify the introvert
Step 2 : Smile and walk away
Step 3 : Understand that the introvert enjoyed spending time with you.
- Two things we as introverts would surely avoid : phone calls and uninvited guests
- Pretending to use the phone to avoid unnecessary socialising.
- Staying up very late at night as that is the only time you can be alone.
- Love texting but calling on the phone and talking is torture.
Share and like if you find it relatable.
–Shades Of Life
Heya folks! Hope all is going well with everyone. Enjoy reading the next part to my introvert struggles series and do not forget to like or comment if you find it relatable. Cheers!
- One of the best things you can do for me is give me some quiet time and space when I need to recharge. I promise to come out again when my tank is full.
- Completely changing your path because you saw someone you know and want to avoid conversation.
- In a world where everything is overexposed, the coolest thing you can do is maintain your mystery.
- Gets an unexpected call. Does not pick up because you are not mentally prepared.
- The best thing about introverts is that we wear our chaos on the inside, where nobody can see it.
–Shades Of Life
Hey peeps! So here I am with the continuation of my introvert struggle series. Its amazing when you guys like my work and provide your opinion. Continue doing the same further 🙂
- We introverts are sober people. We do not believe in investing our time and energy when the place gets too loud. We simply walk out.
- As introverts, we crave for intimate moments and soulful talks and those are’t found in crowds. We hate crowds and we love solace.
- If forcefully, we have to attend a party, we would definitely come up with all sorts of excuses to leave the party early.
- When someone you do not know tries to engage you in small talk and your answers are so direct and to the point that you have no clue how to take that conversation forward.
- That amazing moment when people leave the house and you are finally alone is complete bliss. People can be draining sometimes.
PS : We introverts are good people. Just a bit difficult to understand! We pair up pretty well with the ones of our kind.
Do like, comment and share if you find this post similar to your situation 🙂
–Shades Of Life
Hey, peeps. Here comes part 4 of my introvert struggles series. Hope you enjoy reading!
- Sometimes introverts need to recharge their social batteries for an entire weekend. If you can’t find us, don’t worry. We are fine. 😄
- Me: Hi
Me: Oh God. M a horrible person that was so awkward. I vow never to say hello to anyone as long as I am alive. May a moving vehicle smite me where I stand and remove me from this earth as I speak. 😣
- I may decline your call but I still love you. ❤
- Every social interaction with someone new feels like a test for which I did not study. 😌
- We are people who do like being invited to places but never really wanna go.😎
Do like, share and comment on your views if you find it relatable.
So here I am back with part 3. Introvert are themselves are curious creatures to handle. People may wonder whether introverts are mentally unhealthy. But no, introverts are just a bit reserved.
- During small talks, we introverts either smile or plan an escape.
- When asked for weekend plans our only plan is staying at home doing literally nothing.
- If asked for a social gathering impromptu response, “I’ll have to check my schedule.”
- Quiet in groups. Loud between me and you.
- Leaving a store without finding what we needed because we didn’t want to bother somebody for help.
If this is the case with you too, do like, share and comment your experiences.
–Shades Of Life
Hi everyone. So I am back with introvert struggles part 2. I am sure as writers we have that instinct within us somewhere. Do feel free to like, comment and share if you find it relatable.
- Making plans when in a good mood but then that day comes and you actually wanna die. 😂
- Finding conversations meaningless and silences much more comfortable.
- Least lonely when alone and want a godamn rest after a lot of peopling.
- Get home from work and sit on a couch staring at nothing because you’re so emotionally paralyzed having to deal with people all day
- Staying inside at times as it feels too peopley out there.
I know we introverts are kinda different but that’s the way we are. Do not forget to like and comment if you find it related. 🙂
-Shades Of Life
Ok, so here is my compilation of the best introvert sides I have come across. I being a big time introvert, find these situations quite relatable. Do like and comment if you find it relatable and also comment your introvert struggles and I would put them in my next write-up. ☺
- People always think if you want to hang out you have to do something. Like for me,give me a plate of chips, wifi password and I can sit in silence for hours.
- I enjoy solitude and being alone. I can come to an empty flat and sleep peacefully. I am not afraid of darkness or loneliness for that matter. Infact for others it may be loneliness but for me its pure solitude.
- I like the sunset, serenity, rain, quiet places and the moments when you look at the sky and it is so damn beautiful. It always has a new story to tell. I love sunsets because it is the proof of a well-spent day, like the sun has kept its promise to the sky for yet another lifespan.
- Come home, make some tea, sit down and everywhere there is silence. Everyone decides for themselves whether it’s loneliness or solitude.
- After an hour of mental preparation- Ok m ready to go for the party. 🤗 After 5 minutes at the party- Ok m ready to go home. 😟
Do not forget to like and comment with your views!
–Shades Of Life
A small but heartwarming incident to begin my day with!
Like every other day, I struggled to get into the metro. After two stations an old lady entered the coach, still trying to catch her breath. People made way for her even in that extreme crowd and a gentleman gave his seat to the lady. In return the lady blessed that man.
Might a be a common incident for people traveling in Delhi metro, yet it feels good to see that humanity still exists amongst all the hustle in such a city.