Craving for some fresh air can come anytime
And my sleep cycle is anyway messed up enough
Getting out of my house
Walking on the road, just drenched in the rain
It’s a good weather maybe
Maybe it’s the way of nature having her own breakdown
These maybes are killing me right now
The n number of possibilities running in my mind
In the Hustle bustle of my own
I hit the vacuum or maybe some whitespace of absolute nothingness
As I look down the road…
“Are we parallel lines?”
Meeting at no point?
Just like some railway track
But walking by each other’s sides
With the same passion and love
Now all of a sudden all I want is this road to merge
And this becomes my greatest urge
Cause for me it’s no more just roads or railway tracks
It’s You and I
It’s this fixed distance between us tearing me apart
I’m fighting in my head to merge or mold to make these roads concile in a single line
Seems like sleep is not the only thing I’m lacking today, its air too
Pretty glad about this soothing breeze
I was not really great at maths
But I remember coincident lines are parallel too
Just with all the points similar
Which again feels hard to attain
But I am not gonna get this single hope in vain
Or should I wait to meet at infinity?
I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.
The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.
Hope is a song i wrote for you,
now i’m stripping it off lyric by lyric.
Misery is a nothing-town sleeping
over the grave of heartbreaks.
i’m that grave.
Falling for someone is standing
on the edge
and dancing with the devil.
whoever falls first, wins.
My feet are bleeding.
I lost, like I always do.
Staying back is like winning
a lottery, but
only when they want you to stay.
you don’t want me to, do you?
Asking you to stay is like
keeping my heart in a blender
and handing it over to you.
Rest is our history, shattered.
i won’t disappoint.
s(t)ay, i am a fool.
s(t)ay, you love me.
s(t)ay, we will survive.
s(t)ay, you want us to work.
s(t)ay, i’m hopeless.
s(t)ay, it’s me who needs to leave.
At the end of a long day, I think about you again. You’ve become a habit now, the most pronounced sound in my almighty wretchedness. In this room of ephemeral solitude, we sit and listen to each other silence. No words are spoken here. Like always.
Time stands still and starts evaporating. I’m told a wise man once said nothing. I understand the beauty in his existence. And that in ours. We fall prey to the quietness inside us, a tranquil passage to what we can but might never be.
There is poetry in the way we love. I move my lips on your fragility, every murmur an earthquake. Your breath falls soundlessly on my skin, the night watching us become stories, hiding us away in between the pages of these years.
What more can we ever share, now that we’ve shared a silence?
You did not lose, you got lucky. You got lucky enough to meet someone who showed you that there were souls within this universe that felt as deeply, and cared as feverishly, as you did.
You did not lose, you got lucky. You got lucky because you met someone who, for a moment in time, was able to squeeze all of your broken pieces back together. You got lucky. Lucky enough to meet someone who plucked anxiety out of your chest like splinters, who poured calm into the parts of you that no one else clapped for.
No, you did not lose — you got lucky. You got lucky because time did not choose to separate you. You got lucky. Lucky enough to have found them, to have experienced them, to have been given the opportunity to love them the way you loved them.
But sometimes, sometimes people come into our lives and they love us like hurricanes — making us question if we feel too deeply, if we are simply too much to hold. The hardest lesson you will ever have to learn is that this too is a gift. To have been loved in halves is to have been loved by someone who taught you how to walk away. How to choose yourself for once, how to stand up for your worth. At the end of the day, they may not have loved you, but they did teach you how to survive the wreckage, how to endure the storm, and how to rebuild.
In the day I walk alone, among the sea of people,
Holding close the solitude of my heart,
The same solitude that rescues me at night,
When each of these people leave one by one.
Whenever I feel alone, even for a minute, you know I get into that deep trance, that unhappy zone wherein I feel all alone and helpless. And I don’t know how but you always get to know that I am feeling low and I need you. You always end up calling or texting me and I end up smiling again. That is for you, my savior and my guiding light.
I don’t say this always, but thanks. Thanks for always being there. And please stay forever!
Be brave to be alone. By alone I mean not depending on someone else for your happiness, by alone I mean a future where your goals rely on you, by alone I mean strolling on a beach barefoot with sand between your feet and winds rustling past your face.
Be brave enough to love yourself. Love yourself enough to walk away, say no when you have had too much, smile at your own reflection when life feels grim. Be brave enough to be there for your own self. Have the power to wipe your own tears when you have no one beside you but a human-sized ache resting next to you. Hold your falling pieces together because if you don’t then you will fall apart and there will be no one to save you.
Be brave enough to be the right person for yourself because if you are brave to do what’s right for you, then you will never feel lonely even when you are alone.