Posted in The Untold Story

Myself ❤️

When I was a little girl
I planed my perfect world
And lived in a palace in my dreams
Then heartbreak came along
And plans went completely wrong
Life’s just not as easy as it seems

But look at me now
I’m still dreaming
Still believing in myself
Look at me now, I’m still dreaming
Still believing in myself

Searching for someone
Who would be the one to fit
In the picture that I planned
The jigsaw puzzle piece
To make my dream complete was always sin in my head

But look at me now
I’m still dreaming
Still believing in myself
When I was a little girl
I planned my perfect world
And lived in a palace in my dreams

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Positivity is Toxic at Times

Often heard people consoling :
“Everything is fine” even when it’s not.
“Don’t overthink, just be happy” as if it’s just that easy.
“Don’t be sad” like that will help.
“Just stop thinking about it” like that will heal it.
“Always be happy” when it’s literally impossible to be always happy. We get sad sometimes & it’s completely natural.
“Don’t think about suicide, you’re a happy person.” like those thoughts are in our control.
“You shouldn’t be depressed, you have everything” like depression is a choice.

“Just chill” doesn’t work every time. When something bad happens that makes you sad or when you lose something/someone, not thinking about it or simply distracting from it is not the solution. Most people do this because they find the escape much easier than to feel those negative emotions.

But it is not a good practice. We may feel better in the moment but in the long run, it suppresses our emotions, develops anxiety and detaches us from our emotions and feelings. Isn’t it okay to be sad? I guess it is okay to feel any kind of negative emotions. Having the power to confront your own self is not a small thing.

You might feel your way is easier, that escaping and hiding your pain with a smile is better. Maybe you’ll even say that there are no side effects from it. But it’s not so. You don’t see them because you choose not to. But they are all inside you. It might be low self-esteem, inability to sustain healthy relationships, endless feeling of loneliness, or unreasonable anger. But it’s all there. Better vent out and let your emotions flow because no one can be positive at all times.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Explore Your Inner Self!

“Humankind has not woven the web of life.We are but one thread within it.Whatever we do to the web we do to ourselves.All things are bound together. All things connect.” – Chief Seattle

These times have made the interconnectedness of life more and more apparent. The thread of life that connects you, me and everyone else. Lets embrace this fabric ; out of which we all are created and its called life.

P.s when u cant go out(which u strictly should not)..go within. Take a deep dive in your inner self and evolve!

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

New Normal? Nope!

The pandemic begins suddenly, violently, recklessly. No one knows what to do. The world goes silent. Not everyone one knows how to deal with isolation. Grief knocks at doors and loneliness welcomes us home. Life comes to standstill and breathing feels heavy.

They say its the beginning of the end. They never taught us how to deal with endings. How do you mourn the dead you never met. What to do with all these funerals you could never attend . 
Helplessness looms on heads and shops run out of masks.
There’s no justice for displaced. How do you stay at home when there’s no home? Too many questions lie unanswered.

Suffering doesn’t seem to end. The funny part is no one knew how badly they want to exist until a virus strain strikes. 
Everyone’s tired of wondering if a vaccine or practicing religion can save them. Will an antibacterial soap wash the blood of everyone they killed on their hands ? Will they someday understand how to stop mourning each morning?

The word positive seems deadlier than ever before. For once in life, everyone wants to be positive that theyare negative. Tough times. Hopeless cases of desperation. 
How do you pray when you don’t know what to pray for?
How do you believe when your beliefs could kill you!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Silent Thoughts

1:00 AM
Blinking hard, sitting in the lone corner of my room. The blank page in front of me is staring back at me, that too in a similar frowned gaze. I roll my pen up & down the desk against my calloused fingers. I close my eyes and try to focus.

1:30 AM
My shadow, is cast on the wall by the light from the lamp on my desk. It is a quiet night. My room is lit up by the luminance of the lamp, the dullness merges effortlessly with it. I’m still trying to think.

2:00 AM
My fingers are rolling in my hair, like curling them. The page is still glaring at me, seems as if it is curling its lips into a vicious smile, judging me— i can hear the clock ticking, louder than my thoughts.

2:30 AM
I’m thinking now. I guess I can now feel the pieces are coming together. The blank page in front of me; was it an indication that I’d finally leave behind a whole lot of past?

3:00 AM Sadness often pushes you to extents that pull out a particular art of misery and gloom from somewhere within, where there’s no light or air. Am I happy now? Maybe, a little. Sometimes it becomes too difficult to judge your own thoughts, this is life I guess. Hard, cruel, vulnerable and ruthless!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

This Loss Feels Personal – RIP Legend!

It was always too tough to take our eyes off him when he was on screen. When he was around everything faded, yet Irrfan Khan never claimed the spotlight.

It is generally said that superheroes don’t always wear capes. But Irrfan wore many. He was Maqbool. He was Billu. He was Monty. He was Saajan Fernandes. He was all these people and we believed him all the time. Be it The Lunchbox, Quarib Quarib Single, English Medium, Blackmail or Angrezi Medium; he left no stone untouched in proving his meetle.

Today, we are in a world where normalcy is tossed out the window and grief hits harder. This loss feels massive and personal as we have lived many lives with the many lives Irrfan lived.

Stories are immortal and so is he.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

There is Light Within You…

It’s so easy, especially right now, to be afraid — afraid of what tomorrow might bring, of what could go wrong, of all the things that may potentially fall apart. It’s so easy to hold onto the negative, to clutch it within your palm, unwilling to loosen your grip.⠀

But please, don’t forget the light within you. Don’t forget the potential you have to reshape, to grow, to remold, and to change the world around you. It all starts with your perspective and a willingness to try. It all starts by saying, “Okay, I don’t have control over what’s happening, but I’m still going to love. I’m still going to show up. I’m still going to move forward.”⠀

Life will undoubtedly give us road blocks and dead-ends, wrong turns and ‘go back four steps’ buttons. But your biggest weapons are your mind and heart. You have the power of what you focus on, the power of what you choose, and the power to begin again. ⠀

There is light within you.⠀
And it’s brighter than you think.⠀

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

You Will Be Okay!

There are different kinds of people in this world. Some know exactly what it is they want to do and they’ve known forever. There are others who haven’t quite figured it out yet. Both of these kinds, believe it or not face the fear of what the future holds at various times through their life.
For the ones that have it all figured out, fear what if things don’t go as planned.
For the ones that are on their journey to find their passion, fear sets in the form of uncertainty.
Either way, no matter what happens, you’ll be okay.
Find peace and happiness in the journey to finding it because once you do, life’s got all good things in store for you.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

I Did Not Know…

I did not know
how to love myself
and love you
at the same time

I could either give it all
to you
Or all
to me.

If I split it down
the middle
we were both left
with too little.
And I have never
Been one
to disappoint.

The problem with
Being in love
Is that you have no clue
How to love somebody
Without replacing your entire
Self worth on them.

If they love you,
You love you.

If they leave,
Your self esteem
Goes with them.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s You 24*7…

My thoughts very often sprint in circles. Always falling back to the place they began from.
All triggered at the
slightest touch of reality
and imagination both.

What was that you last said?
I keep trying to recall for
your first goodbye wasn’t our last.
You come and go.
You come and go.

Tell me if there’s an end to this,
I’d want to try that because
this feels as if you holding
a knife right in front my chest.
Tell me what does it do.
Tell me why do you this.

Wondering is a part of our being.
And our being is another
wonder to the nature.
I think and think and think hard
and harder because
circles have no corners
or edges to press pause for a while.
They keep running and the
wondering never stops.
As though it were you.
I can’t think anymore.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Every Picture Speaks

Photographs…

We collect memories like raindrops on the palm of our hand
My mother once told me that a moment lived in happiness is far more precious than anything else.
I guess that’s why she hated being photographed.
In my home you will see the walls are bare.
We don’t have frames lined up that show smiling faces and people laughing in a pretty background.
Maybe it’s cause my mom believed that a moment is not complete till you can capture its essence in its entirety and photographs fall short in telling the truth cause we would rather smile and hide the pain, lies and emptiness that is often reflected in our eyes.

After her demise, we had to try hard to find a photo of her’s
She’s not smiling in that
There is this half smile on her lips, but I wonder if I saw the stories in her eyes, stories that are laughing, crying, angry, stories that are alive and the stories that now have died with her.
I like taking pictures. I don’t know if I am scared of being forgotten or want to just be remembered as a story.
I wonder when people say that we stay alive in memories,
do they actually mean it or it’s just a lie to comfort ourselves.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

In Some Parallel Universe…

And in some parallel universe
He is mine for the rest of our lives.

And in some parallel universe,
Every morning I get to see his face before I see the sun.

And in some parallel universe,
He calls my name and wakes me up.


And in some parallel universe,
I come home at night all jaded only for him to make every pain fade away with just a smile.

In some parallel universe, I’m dying a happy death as he holds my hand and puts his head on my shoulder, while I breathe and kiss him for one last time.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

You Got Lucky!

You did not lose, you got lucky. You got lucky enough to meet someone who showed you that there were souls within this universe that felt as deeply, and cared as feverishly, as you did.

You did not lose, you got lucky. You got lucky because you met someone who, for a moment in time, was able to squeeze all of your broken pieces back together. You got lucky. Lucky enough to meet someone who plucked anxiety out of your chest like splinters, who poured calm into the parts of you that no one else clapped for.

No, you did not lose — you got lucky. You got lucky because time did not choose to separate you. You got lucky. Lucky enough to have found them, to have experienced them, to have been given the opportunity to love them the way you loved them.

But sometimes, sometimes people come into our lives and they love us like hurricanes — making us question if we feel too deeply, if we are simply too much to hold. The hardest lesson you will ever have to learn is that this too is a gift. To have been loved in halves is to have been loved by someone who taught you how to walk away. How to choose yourself for once, how to stand up for your worth. At the end of the day, they may not have loved you, but they did teach you how to survive the wreckage, how to endure the storm, and how to rebuild.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Embrace Your Chaos!

The biggest battles that we will ever fight, are the battles inside our own heads. They take place when we are the most vulnerable and totally alone. We face them alone , we fight them alone and we conquer them alone. Somethings are just meant to be this way , and you might wish that you may never have to face them. But to be honest, these battles make us who we are and they are essential and without those scars we won’t be able to recognise ourselves. Without those wounds , we won’t be the same.

Whenever chaos knocks on your door, just embrace it; because that’s the best we can do.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

It’s Your Choice!

I know it seems like things will never get better. You feel like you are stuck in your current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time you finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock you back down. These are the days that can either destroy or define you, and it is up to you to decide which path you take.

I hope you don’t let it destroy you.
I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up. I hope you never feel like you won’t get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow. You will meet people whose impact will stay with you for years. You will learn what love really is and exactly what it is not. You will finally understand the value of being alone and all of the joy that only you can bring to yourself. You will learn to start living for yourself.

Today may not be your best day, and tomorrow might not be either, but I promise you that one day, you will wake up and realize this is the beginning of everything you have ever wanted.

Please don’t give up on your dreams and the life you always wanted for anyone. It is up to you whether you want to move forward or stand still; but know that if you choose to stay exactly where you are, you will never know how far you could have gone.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

March On!

Make your pain your motivation. Make your shame your life changing resolve.
The world is not fair and you may feel harassed, demotivated and let down. The more you feel demotivated, the more the cycle of depression will strengthen. Do not.

Do not feel demotivated. Remember your purpose. Understand your position. Chalk a change path that helps you reach back to shape, form and energy. March on till your detractors become your supporters. March on till your most vocal critics bet the next impossible on you. March on.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Way back home

At times in life, you will feel that the journey itself is better than the destination. 

The journey is daunting and tiring. There is neither any pilot nor any driver. There is no map to bring you back home. There are no fellow travelers. The road is long and is of course not a smooth one. At times it may even happen that you don’t even know where you are or rather to put it straight where you wish to be.

Yet, you don’t lose hope and manage your way through it. You simply wish to reach home safely.

And when you are finally there, you know you’re safe. You are happy and at ease because you now know your soul has a place to rest. And that’s all that you’ll ever need.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Life lessons #9

As I was growing up my dad would always have to remind me that worrying about things that are outside of my control was harmful to my attitude and ultimately challenging my ability to be happy. Plus, I had no control so I should stop worrying. He’d continue by saying that worrying about something within my control was not needed since I had the ability to fix the problem by taking action. Our time on this earth is limited, and it’s extremely important to make the most of it while we are here. Look at life as a dress rehearsal — even if we mess up our lines, we can stop, take some advice from the experts that support us and guide us through it, and get back to the show.

Shades Of Life

Posted in Travelogue

Let the citylights set you free

One of my favorite places in the national capital, Connaught Place. This place has a lot to offer you. You relive the moments time and again whenever u visit this place. “The world keeps moving n d city never sleeps”holds true at this place. The colonial white of the buildings, magnificent eating joints and hotels, branded outlets and the Indian flag held high at the Central Park never fail to mesmerize you!

    Shades of Life