Often heard people consoling :
“Everything is fine” even when it’s not.
“Don’t overthink, just be happy” as if it’s just that easy.
“Don’t be sad” like that will help.
“Just stop thinking about it” like that will heal it.
“Always be happy” when it’s literally impossible to be always happy. We get sad sometimes & it’s completely natural.
“Don’t think about suicide, you’re a happy person.” like those thoughts are in our control.
“You shouldn’t be depressed, you have everything” like depression is a choice.
“Just chill” doesn’t work every time. When something bad happens that makes you sad or when you lose something/someone, not thinking about it or simply distracting from it is not the solution. Most people do this because they find the escape much easier than to feel those negative emotions.
But it is not a good practice. We may feel better in the moment but in the long run, it suppresses our emotions, develops anxiety and detaches us from our emotions and feelings. Isn’t it okay to be sad? I guess it is okay to feel any kind of negative emotions. Having the power to confront your own self is not a small thing.
You might feel your way is easier, that escaping and hiding your pain with a smile is better. Maybe you’ll even say that there are no side effects from it. But it’s not so. You don’t see them because you choose not to. But they are all inside you. It might be low self-esteem, inability to sustain healthy relationships, endless feeling of loneliness, or unreasonable anger. But it’s all there. Better vent out and let your emotions flow because no one can be positive at all times.
How did I realize it was him out of all the people I met? Well, he is not someone who can be spotted easily in crowds, not one who will be found in noisy streets. He is the kind of man they usually don’t write about now-a-days.
He will help you clean the dishes when you are overburdened with work. He will hold you tight when you are crying. He helps you collect your pieces together when you feel all shattered. I love him because he is not at all afraid to tell me what hurts him the most. He is the one who accepts me the way I am, accepts my flaws like they are stars that shine on his sky.
There is nothing wrong in being sad. It is completely okay. You have every right to feel like a total mess and nobody can question you. Do not ever bottle your feelings just because you are afraid of people. You may feel sadness is not leaving you but remember this feeling is temporary.
Masks too hurt at times because they conceal the real you and give you a fake identity. To heal, you need to let your pain out. Cry, scream, express yourself. Do whatever you can but do not sulk. Acknowledge that you are hurt but remember that better things are coming. Every cloud has a silver lining and after every difficulty comes relief.
In life there comes a point when we either feel too much or nothing at all. We try to ignore our feelings because we think feeling the same thing for a while will end up giving pain to our own heart. We gradually begin suppressing things, because expressing would not make the situation any better. You may get a hand to shake but not a ear to express your fears, your flaws or emotions. Since the very beginning, we have been taught to make ourselves valuable in front of everyone but not vulnerable.
At times, we hide our tears as if it is a bomb that would explode the city which lies inside us. But there are cities which are laid to dust yet built again. In reality, the point is that some feelings are like birds, they are happy when we let them fly rather than cage them in our heart.
We humans are nothing but a soul full of emotions. It is completely okay to cry. Unless you cry openly, you will not be able to laugh properly. Cry your fucking heart out and unleash the burden of your feelings. Crying does not make you weak, it only saves you from being a living corpse.