Often heard people consoling :
“Everything is fine” even when it’s not.
“Don’t overthink, just be happy” as if it’s just that easy.
“Don’t be sad” like that will help.
“Just stop thinking about it” like that will heal it.
“Always be happy” when it’s literally impossible to be always happy. We get sad sometimes & it’s completely natural.
“Don’t think about suicide, you’re a happy person.” like those thoughts are in our control.
“You shouldn’t be depressed, you have everything” like depression is a choice.
“Just chill” doesn’t work every time. When something bad happens that makes you sad or when you lose something/someone, not thinking about it or simply distracting from it is not the solution. Most people do this because they find the escape much easier than to feel those negative emotions.
But it is not a good practice. We may feel better in the moment but in the long run, it suppresses our emotions, develops anxiety and detaches us from our emotions and feelings. Isn’t it okay to be sad? I guess it is okay to feel any kind of negative emotions. Having the power to confront your own self is not a small thing.
You might feel your way is easier, that escaping and hiding your pain with a smile is better. Maybe you’ll even say that there are no side effects from it. But it’s not so. You don’t see them because you choose not to. But they are all inside you. It might be low self-esteem, inability to sustain healthy relationships, endless feeling of loneliness, or unreasonable anger. But it’s all there. Better vent out and let your emotions flow because no one can be positive at all times.
While I was standing alone in the darkness, this lightened lamp caught my attention. I could see my faint shadow painted on a wall by the light of this lamp. As the stormy winds were playing with the flame, my shadow was trembling too.
I watched the little lamp fight with the darkness, betraying the strength of its own and also the depth of the darkness. The blowing breeze tilted the triumph towards darkness, and from the struggle of the shivering flame, I could see that the lamp would die any time soon. But surprisingly, the flame got its balance back. Perhaps it was the magic of firm determination of not giving up, and now the lamp stood still against the dark in this “looking impossible to win” battle. I was astonished by the toil, the little lamp had gone through without a dwindle and I surely was impressed with the arrogant behaviour the lamp showed towards the uncanny dark. But now I think, what choice did the lamp have?
Isn’t life like this sometimes? It drags us into the battle we don’t want to fight and leaves us no choice. We can’t run away no matter how tired we are because of this war. You don’t see victory near, but that can’t be the reason you give up. The only escape way, is through.
But does the battle make us stronger in the end? I don’t know. Perhaps, I’m still in between the war. But you remember the lamp, it shone the brightest when the darkness was at its peak.
It’s so easy, especially right now, to be afraid — afraid of what tomorrow might bring, of what could go wrong, of all the things that may potentially fall apart. It’s so easy to hold onto the negative, to clutch it within your palm, unwilling to loosen your grip.⠀
But please, don’t forget the light within you. Don’t forget the potential you have to reshape, to grow, to remold, and to change the world around you. It all starts with your perspective and a willingness to try. It all starts by saying, “Okay, I don’t have control over what’s happening, but I’m still going to love. I’m still going to show up. I’m still going to move forward.”⠀
Life will undoubtedly give us road blocks and dead-ends, wrong turns and ‘go back four steps’ buttons. But your biggest weapons are your mind and heart. You have the power of what you focus on, the power of what you choose, and the power to begin again. ⠀
There is light within you.⠀
And it’s brighter than you think.⠀
It’s not the moon that I miss.
It’s the idea of something radiating,
That makes the darkness a less darker.
You will have some bad days, weeks and may be months. But you will have to understand that happiness comes in waves and there has never been an ocean totally frozen.
It may get worse, but believe that eventually it will get better. It always does. Your growth is not defined by your bad days, you are not defined by your bad days. Take all the time you need to strive from the place you are in now. Everything is temporary and even the darkest times will pass. You will be fine, remember that.
Feeling distressed? Listen, it is really important to make sure that you don’t define your life with what you are facing and feeling this very moment. Look at your past and acknowledge all the moments. Both the good as well as the bad ones.
All you need to do is just have faith in the healing capacity of time. Be grateful for the good times. Things will soon start falling in place. You will once again start feeling calm, happy and relaxed. The best part being you solely have the control to feel positive again.
It is always important to maintain a positive attitude in life. But it is also true that life is not always perfect. It is impossible to live your life always in a positive state of mind. Everywhere we look we are continuously being told to be happy and also that we have the ability to manifest our perfect life. Being positive can be exhausting and sometimes, depressing. We can’t simply begin to live a life devoid of any sadness or negative emotions.
When life takes a downward lane, it is normal to blame ourselves. But you should remember to avoid blatant negativity. Just like nature has to go through the darkness of winter in order to experience the rebirth of spring, in a similar fashion, life’s hard times must be lived. The storms of life teach us a lot.
We tend to evaluate and judge our feelings, and those which make us uncomfortable, we term them as bad. We then naturally try all possible means to avoid these negative feelings. The skill of converting negative feelings into positive action is a healthy skill to develop. However, the overuse of it may help avoid feelings which may later manifest themselves as anxiety, depression or you can also term it as the overall discontentment with our life. So it is really important to learn how to process negative emotions. No matter what, just remember it is a phase which will eventually pass. You are having a bad day not a bad life. And that is perfectly fine!