We lose things just like it happens in a game. We find things, just like we get fame at a game. But sometimes we lose things and we do not find it. It is a norm usually followed that what is gone returns. But often it does not. Often what we lose cannot be found again. Or, even if you get it, it is found in a state that it has been lost, which is far beyond recovery. Like maybe some memory.
At times, we lose memory, and we recover it. But sometimes it also happens that we never find the memory which we lose again. And many a times it happens that we want to lose that memory because it is not something which we want to keep. We do not wish to have it back. What do you do with the memory of the dead? Would you lose it or would you want to find it? What is lost but not found may not be forever lost.
But who knows what happens? In this dilemma between being and not being, between being what requires no finding and being lost, they were to be found. Between take off and landing there exists no mystery. Everything that flies eventually comes to land. Generally it happens that when the lost thing comes to be found it is simply a debris of lost things. Lost. Found. But eventually lost.
There was a plant I really wanted to buy from the market. It was a small and delicate one and had a unique charm. I had made up my mind to buy that house plant, a one which was quite low maintenance if you ask me. It did not need watering every day and it was quite an achievement to nurture it. But gradually, I lost interest in it. It did not receive much attention from my side and one day noticed a withered pot. The plant though had grown taller but had shrivelled up and was beyond repair. Yet, I kept on watering it in the hope that it would revive again but it did not.
This is just like a metaphor for relationships. Similar to the plant, you feel you like someone and bring them into your life. You make a special space for them, do what is required for them, enjoy the time spent, become too comfortable and gradually you tend to stop valuing the things you once fought for.
When you water the dead plants, it is simply the denial phase where you hesitate to accept the absence of something and do not pay any heed to your own faults. Just as watering dead plants is a waste in a similar way watering dead relationships is also futile. Needless to say, it is hard to let go of something that has been close to you for quite a long time but it is important to acknowledge the fact that there is a difference between loving someone and having loved someone once. Sooner or later you have to realise your own feelings and take charge for it. If you feel you are watering a dead plant and the spark is dwindling, it will only add to your own irritation and annoyance. This is the time when you should finally consider moving on.