Posted in Shades of Life

Born to Live!

We are not born to die! What are you talking about; do you think a book begins just to finish? Do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? You don’t read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes. To learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken. You listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw. To cry and smile and swell with the harmonies. Yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play; the final act, the closing of the curtains. We are not born to take a bow and exit stage left; we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feel, feel, feel! ⁣
We are not born to die, silly, we’re born to live.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Happy Birthday Mommy

I unturned the hourglass upside down
Sand descending back to the ground
And as the things undo themselves within
My bed sheets are back to uptight, spread fine
The pillow has dried up
As if it was never soaked from the tears
And my eyes
My eyes, no more look like a red dawn sun
As if mourning the death of a loved one
It’s normal again, like they deserve to be
The blood slowly dripping down my leg
Just took rewind, and is back in vein
The scars, the marks have disappeared
With a beautiful golden honey skin
There’s no more chaos in the room
Like it was some battlefield
Books are back in shelf, so clean it is
Like it just renewed itself

Time will heal
Things around
I knew it always

But the depth of my heart has will no more
To trust the time or its glory for that course
Rightly said you can never get over the pain of losing someone close to you, you somehow learn to live with it.

And for me, she was my whole life. Happiest birthday Mommy 🎂

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

There is No ONE Reason for Suicide!

No one kills him self because of one breakup, one failure or one lockdown. There is no ONE REASON for suicide. It is like a cancer of thoughts and only empathy or support is the treatment.

It’s the years of hopelessness, worthlessness, inner fight, internal conflict, one cannot imagine a roller coaster ride from dark to light and dark again.
And years and years and years of apathy from the society and near and dear ones towards mental health that a person loses battle with depression and ends his life. It’s not easy to hang yourself, just imagine the amount of mental torture and pain.
There is no one reason for suicide. RIP Sushant Singh Rajput.

Open up, talk to your near ones. Mental health is the most important.

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

New Normal? Nope!

The pandemic begins suddenly, violently, recklessly. No one knows what to do. The world goes silent. Not everyone one knows how to deal with isolation. Grief knocks at doors and loneliness welcomes us home. Life comes to standstill and breathing feels heavy.

They say its the beginning of the end. They never taught us how to deal with endings. How do you mourn the dead you never met. What to do with all these funerals you could never attend . 
Helplessness looms on heads and shops run out of masks.
There’s no justice for displaced. How do you stay at home when there’s no home? Too many questions lie unanswered.

Suffering doesn’t seem to end. The funny part is no one knew how badly they want to exist until a virus strain strikes. 
Everyone’s tired of wondering if a vaccine or practicing religion can save them. Will an antibacterial soap wash the blood of everyone they killed on their hands ? Will they someday understand how to stop mourning each morning?

The word positive seems deadlier than ever before. For once in life, everyone wants to be positive that theyare negative. Tough times. Hopeless cases of desperation. 
How do you pray when you don’t know what to pray for?
How do you believe when your beliefs could kill you!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

This Loss Feels Personal – RIP Legend!

It was always too tough to take our eyes off him when he was on screen. When he was around everything faded, yet Irrfan Khan never claimed the spotlight.

It is generally said that superheroes don’t always wear capes. But Irrfan wore many. He was Maqbool. He was Billu. He was Monty. He was Saajan Fernandes. He was all these people and we believed him all the time. Be it The Lunchbox, Quarib Quarib Single, English Medium, Blackmail or Angrezi Medium; he left no stone untouched in proving his meetle.

Today, we are in a world where normalcy is tossed out the window and grief hits harder. This loss feels massive and personal as we have lived many lives with the many lives Irrfan lived.

Stories are immortal and so is he.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

There is Light Within You…

It’s so easy, especially right now, to be afraid — afraid of what tomorrow might bring, of what could go wrong, of all the things that may potentially fall apart. It’s so easy to hold onto the negative, to clutch it within your palm, unwilling to loosen your grip.⠀

But please, don’t forget the light within you. Don’t forget the potential you have to reshape, to grow, to remold, and to change the world around you. It all starts with your perspective and a willingness to try. It all starts by saying, “Okay, I don’t have control over what’s happening, but I’m still going to love. I’m still going to show up. I’m still going to move forward.”⠀

Life will undoubtedly give us road blocks and dead-ends, wrong turns and ‘go back four steps’ buttons. But your biggest weapons are your mind and heart. You have the power of what you focus on, the power of what you choose, and the power to begin again. ⠀

There is light within you.⠀
And it’s brighter than you think.⠀

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Happy Endings – Reality or Myth?

We humans love happy endings. But does every story ends in a happily ever after? I guess no. Some stories start to end, some to teach us a life lesson and some to make us a better person. There are happy stories as well which give us hope and sad ones are those that show us the true mirror of life.

I always trusted happy endings. Since my childhood I loved the stories of Cinderella and Snow White where happy endings existed throughout. Life was never a fairy tale for me but it wasn’t a bed of thorns as well. What I fail to understand is that is it the fact that happiness is only meaningful when it is found at last and less significant when it is found earlier in life and is followed by unhappiness? Loving a happy ending is just a human abstraction where a happy ending is similar to death ending our life; a full-stop. But in life, happy and sad moments do not leave us. Life is unfair yet we crave for happy endings.

Things happen, sometimes good sometimes bad, but it is important to move on. It is important to be the person you are, not what your problems force you to be. In life not all stories have happy endings, some stay incomplete and some without an ending altogether. All you need to do is keep your head held high whatever be the situation.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life, The Untold Story

2190 Days Without You!

It is again the 1st of February. The most dreaded day of my life. The day I wish never shows up on the calendar. The day I want to be deleted forever! This was the very day I lost my mother, or I should say my life.

So, on a very precise note, 2190 days without you and it feels like an entire lifespan. So tough it was to believe that I will never be able to hug you, kiss you hear you; but eventually, I learned to live with this truth of my life. It hits hard at times trust me, not at all something I will able be able to cope with my entire life. But that is how it goes I guess. Somehow, with time you get the strength to cope with the loss.

Death indeed is the saddest reality of life. The one and the only thing which shivers me from inside. Today, after around 2190 days without you, I feel like your memories are my life’s only solace. Needless to say, how much I miss your presence, I would certainly not be exaggerating if I say your absence kills me from inside. 2190 days is a fairly long span of time. But I still feel if it’s just yesterday when the entire chain of events took the life out of me in just a few hours. My life was no longer worth living, it felt meaningless. No matter whatever I do to move away from this pain; my heart knows that it is a task which I will never be successful at. This void will never be filled and it is never-ending grief I will have to live with all throughout my life.

Deep down in my heart, I will always know that I can never hug you again. That feeling kills me each second. After I lost you, mourning has become a way of life for me. The beautiful memories we spent together make me smile; only till the time I realize you are no longer here. I miss you so so much, I wish I could ever do something for you, I wanted to take all your pain away. I wish I could do all that which made you happy. Time was never benevolent enough to give me a chance. Your death was a tough lesson to me that life is so uncertain. I wish destiny had this lesson conveyed to me in a different manner.

Today as I pen down my feelings, I realize why you always wished I was strong; because you knew that one day I would be needing the strength to bear your loss. I so wish to meet you to see you one last time. Things like these are very difficult to express in words. With the great amount of agony I have in me, my heart still remains empty without you. Your death came as a terrible black hole in my life which has engulfed each and every bit of my happiness. Loneliness, nostalgia and melancholy are my forever companions now. Your absence has made me lifeless. Wish I could really turn the tide of events and change the present.

ShadesOfLife

Posted in Shades of Life

The Untold Story

             The untold story of life..You would be wondering as to what the untold story of life is. No one knows about it. It gives no clue. Just a second and BOOM..

Yes, you guessed it right. It undoubtedly is Death. People are afraid of death. Not because they are worried of dying or losing themselves. But because they are afraid of losing their near and dear ones. Death is an untold story because everyone knows that they are going to die sooner or later but when the D-day comes, they lose their endurance power.

It is too hard a fact to be digested that you have lost someone. The fact that the person you loved and cared for all your life has lost its identity and become only a body. The fact that whatsoever you do is not going to bring him back to life. The fact that no matter how hard you try to shake him, call him, yell at him, he is not going to respond or show any movement

. night

Death is something I feel very hard to deal with. I have witnessed quite a number at a very small age. It shook me badly from within. I became vulnerable and in literal terms i was shattered.

I was actually astound with the fact that how can  a person who is your lifeline suddenly exit from your life. The care and warmth of a relationship which had been there since so long can just end in a fraction of seconds. Well, that is how life is supposed to be I guess. Unfair and irrational.

Gradually, with the passage of time I became more clearer with the concept of life and death. I found out that death relieves a soul ultimately. It is destined to happen. The soul as we say has found its place of rest. The only thing that comes to our rescue in that hard moment is the faith in God.

It is said- Time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.