Posted in The Untold Story

Positivity is Toxic at Times

Often heard people consoling :
“Everything is fine” even when it’s not.
“Don’t overthink, just be happy” as if it’s just that easy.
“Don’t be sad” like that will help.
“Just stop thinking about it” like that will heal it.
“Always be happy” when it’s literally impossible to be always happy. We get sad sometimes & it’s completely natural.
“Don’t think about suicide, you’re a happy person.” like those thoughts are in our control.
“You shouldn’t be depressed, you have everything” like depression is a choice.

“Just chill” doesn’t work every time. When something bad happens that makes you sad or when you lose something/someone, not thinking about it or simply distracting from it is not the solution. Most people do this because they find the escape much easier than to feel those negative emotions.

But it is not a good practice. We may feel better in the moment but in the long run, it suppresses our emotions, develops anxiety and detaches us from our emotions and feelings. Isn’t it okay to be sad? I guess it is okay to feel any kind of negative emotions. Having the power to confront your own self is not a small thing.

You might feel your way is easier, that escaping and hiding your pain with a smile is better. Maybe you’ll even say that there are no side effects from it. But it’s not so. You don’t see them because you choose not to. But they are all inside you. It might be low self-esteem, inability to sustain healthy relationships, endless feeling of loneliness, or unreasonable anger. But it’s all there. Better vent out and let your emotions flow because no one can be positive at all times.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Let it Out…

Sharing is an essential part of letting go. It helps you to let your emotions flow, realise why you feel a certain way and be true to yourself.

I always thought that I should never let people see my vulnerabilities, so I never shared. But there has to be someone in front of whom you can cry your heart out, with whom you can share all that you want to.
So if there is something that’s been bothering you, talk to a friend in whom you trust or a therapist and
let it all out. Don’t let these unresolved issues and feelings make you anxious.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

There is No ONE Reason for Suicide!

No one kills him self because of one breakup, one failure or one lockdown. There is no ONE REASON for suicide. It is like a cancer of thoughts and only empathy or support is the treatment.

It’s the years of hopelessness, worthlessness, inner fight, internal conflict, one cannot imagine a roller coaster ride from dark to light and dark again.
And years and years and years of apathy from the society and near and dear ones towards mental health that a person loses battle with depression and ends his life. It’s not easy to hang yourself, just imagine the amount of mental torture and pain.
There is no one reason for suicide. RIP Sushant Singh Rajput.

Open up, talk to your near ones. Mental health is the most important.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Firefly Lost in Woods

Why cant i fly away
with these winds,
like those hummingbirds
and just disappear into the horizon
and land in a new world
where it rains most of the time,
where light and hope doesn’t
come in intangible fragments.
where happiness is not
scarce like kindness in the world

Where I feel alive, where I can breathe openly.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Happy Mother’s Day Mum!

Initially I used to wonder “Kyu Nahi ma, Saari duniya tere tarah.” This world is not much of a beautiful place as you think it is. You come to this world through one support and that’s your mother, who is your God, your creator, your lifeline. But what when your lifeline is no longer with you.

Well, since she has left life has changed drastically. My days don’t go well and my mind sometimes stays in a muddle. But you know what helps? I take out her picture, and put it aside me. I talk to her and it releases all the discomfort I face. At times I wonder what mothers are born with? A real magical power or a lap that has the purest love?
As children we always fail to understand your love but you are the only one who can love unconditionally. I guess, writers and philosophers still fail to describe mother’s love because you come in so many different shades. Wherever you are I wish you are in peace Mum. I miss you Amma is just a daily phrase now because no words can ever express how empty I feel without you.
Ending with just one line, “Kabhi ho Nahi sakti ma, Saari duniya teri tarah” .

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

Array of Nothingness

You can try to put your
feelings & nightmares in a bottle
and throw it out in the ocean
and you hope that it goes away,
you hope that it never
comes back to you,
but it always comes back
and you know it,
it never goes away,
just like sunshine in the morning
it somehow manages
to come back everyday.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Inked…

Sometimes when two people are together for a long time, they might decide to get each other’s names inked on their bodies. Isn’t it weird that, that ink will be nothing but a bunch of meaningless letters if their connection isn’t genuine?
If they suddenly decide to split up in the unforeseen future, that ink will be nothing but a painful memory. A memory about someone who they used to love unconditionally, someone they wanted to build a home with.

What is one supposed to do if their dreams burned right in front of them and the contingent scar was so deep that it might just never fade away?

It is a known fact that we all carry our emotional baggage, but are you also carrying someone else’s name inked on your soul?

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

New Normal? Nope!

The pandemic begins suddenly, violently, recklessly. No one knows what to do. The world goes silent. Not everyone one knows how to deal with isolation. Grief knocks at doors and loneliness welcomes us home. Life comes to standstill and breathing feels heavy.

They say its the beginning of the end. They never taught us how to deal with endings. How do you mourn the dead you never met. What to do with all these funerals you could never attend . 
Helplessness looms on heads and shops run out of masks.
There’s no justice for displaced. How do you stay at home when there’s no home? Too many questions lie unanswered.

Suffering doesn’t seem to end. The funny part is no one knew how badly they want to exist until a virus strain strikes. 
Everyone’s tired of wondering if a vaccine or practicing religion can save them. Will an antibacterial soap wash the blood of everyone they killed on their hands ? Will they someday understand how to stop mourning each morning?

The word positive seems deadlier than ever before. For once in life, everyone wants to be positive that theyare negative. Tough times. Hopeless cases of desperation. 
How do you pray when you don’t know what to pray for?
How do you believe when your beliefs could kill you!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Love is Complicating…

Love is an intense feeling. You can not stop loving someone, just because you cannot be together or because they left. Love isn’t a promise nor an agreement, it doesn’t come with a warranty card or an enquiry desk.
Loving someone is like two edged knife, it’s pain disguised as pleasure and the other way around. Some people will come into your life to tear you apart and some will put you back together way too beautifully. One day you’re gonna wake up next to your loved one and you’ll know that they’ll be there even if you close your eyes. It’ll all make sense then. Wait for it.

You’ll never know when is the last time someone walks in or walks out. So have faith in your love and breathe.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

There is Light Within You…

It’s so easy, especially right now, to be afraid — afraid of what tomorrow might bring, of what could go wrong, of all the things that may potentially fall apart. It’s so easy to hold onto the negative, to clutch it within your palm, unwilling to loosen your grip.⠀

But please, don’t forget the light within you. Don’t forget the potential you have to reshape, to grow, to remold, and to change the world around you. It all starts with your perspective and a willingness to try. It all starts by saying, “Okay, I don’t have control over what’s happening, but I’m still going to love. I’m still going to show up. I’m still going to move forward.”⠀

Life will undoubtedly give us road blocks and dead-ends, wrong turns and ‘go back four steps’ buttons. But your biggest weapons are your mind and heart. You have the power of what you focus on, the power of what you choose, and the power to begin again. ⠀

There is light within you.⠀
And it’s brighter than you think.⠀

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

This Too Shall Pass

Breathe in simplicity and find your happiness. Take this opportunity to make new memories with your close ones or simply use this time to unwind.
As said by Albus Dumbledore himself, “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Cheers to 2019!

When I first started the year, I wasn’t in the best mindset. Like I had no idea where I was headed, and I just wanted to stop for a while. I wanted to rest and let the world go ahead without me while I took time to figure myself out. It’s crazy. Everything looks rose-tinted to a spectator, the grass is greener on the other side but only the person living that life knows what they’re going through.

All I wanted was peace. I was losing my drive, the things that propelled me forward and my dreams. I even lost someone forever who was very close to me. But I would always wish him loads of happiness and success wherever he is.

The previous year brought about a tumultuous change in my life. It’s weird to think that a year ago I had no idea that I would experience the things that I did, that I would meet the people I have, and that I would feel the way that I feel at this moment. This year has given me so much, imprinted a lifetime of memories that I will take with me as I move forward on my journey, the people that I’ve with me have healed me, loved me, encouraged me, improved me and welcomed me with all my imperfections, in my entirety.

I would always pray to God for some people to be by my side lifelong. Without them, I would cease to exist. It’s true that some people transform your life completely with their presence, bringing an abundance of love, happiness and warmth that you let every ounce of your being absorb.

I’m ending the year with my cup brimming with kind people, happiness, memories, smiles and laughter. The weeks, months and years ahead are uncertain but what I am certain of is how I feel at this present moment – happy, driven towards my dreams, and praying that I have the one I love with me always.

And these are the things that I wish for each and every one of you. Welcome happiness and love, welcome risks, new people and adventures, welcome growth, welcome your future. I wish you so much love and light.

Cheers to 2019 & Wish You a Happy 2020!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Being Human…

When you ask someone to shrug off with their depression, you simply make their condition less trivial and ignore their pain. For people fighting depression, cheering up is not quite easy. So, be a bit kinder to them.

If someone opens up to you regarding their suicidal thoughts, take them seriously before it’s too late. And please don’t make a joke of it because it’s hurtful and insensitive. If you find this is something a lot that I am asking for, please try and walk a mile in their shoe for a day. Trust me you will realize. You will know that the shoes are so heavy that you will fall before you even take a step.

Be patient, be thoughtful, be kind, be human!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

After The Relationship…

After ending the relationship, life becomes so depressing. We begin asking ourselves if they ever loved us in the first place, if they ever meant when they said that love never fades away, it is forever.

If you also think so, remember that love does not fade away, people do not change, it is the circumstance, it is the life that takes a turn at the wrong time. So, simply trust them when they tell you that once, they loved you madly, once you were their world, you meant everything for them. Time has its own plans. All you can do is just trust the vibes and let the person go. Let the memories stay, but do not stay entangled in the memories as it would become a chain for your future. Take a look on the brighter side of life and enjoy the little moments because You Only Live Once.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s Not A Big Deal To Have a Bad Day!

It is always important to maintain a positive attitude in life. But it is also true that life is not always perfect. It is impossible to live your life always in a positive state of mind. Everywhere we look we are continuously being told to be happy and also that we have the ability to manifest our perfect life. Being positive can be exhausting and sometimes, depressing. We can’t simply begin to live a life devoid of any sadness or negative emotions.

When life takes a downward lane, it is normal to blame ourselves. But you should remember to avoid blatant negativity. Just like nature has to go through the darkness of winter in order to experience the rebirth of spring, in a similar fashion, life’s hard times must be lived. The storms of life teach us a lot.

We tend to evaluate and judge our feelings, and those which make us uncomfortable, we term them as bad. We then naturally try all possible means to avoid these negative feelings. The skill of converting negative feelings into positive action is a healthy skill to develop. However, the overuse of it may help avoid feelings which may later manifest themselves as anxiety, depression or you can also term it as the overall discontentment with our life. So it is really important to learn how to process negative emotions. No matter what, just remember it is a phase which will eventually pass. You are having a bad day not a bad life. And that is perfectly fine!

ShadesofLife