I wonder if I’d have shouted my love for you from the rooftops, maybe the birds would have heard me, maybe they would’ve echoed it to the stars.
The stars would then share my love for you with the moon and the moon would undoubtedly pour my heart out to God. And maybe, maybe then in God’s voice you would have understood how much I love you. There aren’t enough letters in each alphabet of every language to explain how I feel about your existence. To explain how I feel about you.
“And then you meet someone and you life changes forever.”
It always haunts me how our time together is running out like grains of sand from my clenched fists. The clock is ticking so fast. I so much want to hold you a bit longer, a bit more tight and how I wish this moment doesn’t become past tense. But do all wishes come true?
I know not what future has in store for us but believe me when I say there will be no day when you will not cross my mind and no second when I will not think of you. My time will halt, to cherish you. Need I say more?
It goes unsaid that in the darkest hour of our life, we shine the most. If you look at the rain, it teaches you not to hide, but shine at the places you don’t belong to. You need to come out of your comfort zone to understand your true potential. You only become aware of your inherent abilities when the things are odd. Overcoming your fears and fighting against them will surely give you immense amount of pleasure because it is then you realize how tough you are from the inside.
The problem with us these days is that we take everything for granted. This is the reason why happy moments no longer seem happy anymore, and we begin to lose every hope when life becomes tough. We want miracles to happen and hope for a better future. Although it is good to be inquisitive, but you know asking too many questions and not trying to get a single answer is also not going to help.
At times it happen that the blurred pictures are the most beautiful and the people with sad past make the most beautiful future. So, hold the thread of hope. It is just the beginning and the beginning needs strength. Believe in yourself first if you want others to believe in you.
Friedrich Nietzsche in this statement says that when you go through tough times, you gradually build up the strength for the next painful event. In case of a trauma, it may be quite a comforting thought. But most importantly, how do you feel about this statement? Does it resonate with you, or does it sound cliched?
It can be viewed as a war wound, to heal from a really bad time feeling more powerful and ready to take on the next battle. But with me, that is not quite the case. Especially after rough days and tough times, I find myself weaker and more sad. For me the quote goes like – What doesn’t kill you hurts you incredibly and makes you vulnerable and pathetic.
At times, it happens that a few tough situations help in becoming a stronger person. But the really big things, the things that totally altered my life without my consent, the loss of my most loved ones, the horrible experience of being desperately lonely or panic-stricken with anxiety and such other times have bought nothing empowering in me. I’ve felt my heart shatter into pieces and my soul dry, but I never felt stronger after those days. I was only happy that they were over.
I personally feel that strength doesn’t come from life’s worst moments, rather it comes from the best. Whenever I am loved, I feel strong. I find strength in the times when I’ve been most generous and caring. I find strength when I am able to deal well with the bad days. But I feel weak when I face those gloomy bad days. So with me, what doesn’t kill me, does not make me stronger, rather it makes me more weaker and snatches the entire energy out of my existence.
Sorry if you feel that this page is slowly turning out to become a rant page. It’s just those mind fuck-ups. Lately I have been thinking a lot about attachments. Do you realize how much you grow attached to a few things like books, people, places? Sometimes, somethings that you are most attached to, end up hurting you.
I always have been very possessive about my books, my people and the places I have been connected to. Some places are you go-to places, you go there when you have a bad day or a good day. Also, you don’t want others to know about that place, because then that place would no longer be yours. You would always want to keep that place a secret. Same is the case with my books. I never lent my books to anyone as I always felt it would disrupt the bond that I share with my book.
At times we stop going to a few places because they remind us of some bitter memories or because we found a better place to call ours. Attachment is also a similar phenomena. The less attached you are, the more peaceful you will be.