Friedrich Nietzsche in this statement says that when you go through tough times, you gradually build up the strength for the next painful event. In case of a trauma, it may be quite a comforting thought. But most importantly, how do you feel about this statement? Does it resonate with you, or does it sound cliched?
It can be viewed as a war wound, to heal from a really bad time feeling more powerful and ready to take on the next battle. But with me, that is not quite the case. Especially after rough days and tough times, I find myself weaker and more sad. For me the quote goes like – What doesn’t kill you hurts you incredibly and makes you vulnerable and pathetic.
At times, it happens that a few tough situations help in becoming a stronger person. But the really big things, the things that totally altered my life without my consent, the loss of my most loved ones, the horrible experience of being desperately lonely or panic-stricken with anxiety and such other times have bought nothing empowering in me. I’ve felt my heart shatter into pieces and my soul dry, but I never felt stronger after those days. I was only happy that they were over.
I personally feel that strength doesn’t come from life’s worst moments, rather it comes from the best. Whenever I am loved, I feel strong. I find strength in the times when I’ve been most generous and caring. I find strength when I am able to deal well with the bad days. But I feel weak when I face those gloomy bad days. So with me, what doesn’t kill me, does not make me stronger, rather it makes me more weaker and snatches the entire energy out of my existence.
Each of us has a reason to live. May be a special someone, a child, a career, a passion or anything else. It is the thing which kindles the fire in your soul, and without it, you have no idea what to do with yourself. But at times, it happens that you actually lose the thing that kept you going and everything seems to fall apart. The excitement and the eagerness is all gone. The pain makes you feel meaningless when you lose your reason to live.
In such a situation, you need to redefine your reasons for living. Remember that life is always moving forward and changing. You will have to change too. The time will come when you will have to move on as well. If you have lost someone/something which was incredibly important to you, you have based your reason to live on this thing and you may now feel trapped when this thing has been taken from you. But it is not true. Your reason to live depends on you. You are truly dynamic and you have the power to assign someone the meaning and purpose of your life.
You do not need to change the world. All you need to do is simply change your perspective. Truly said “The most tragic moments in our life are the ones that define us the most.” Life is good but it isn’t always fair. There are good times and bad. But when things get tough, seize control of your life and find a reason to keep living. Find a reason to keep going!
To be honest, I have never sat down and thought about the importance of trusting myself. I never knew how important it was to believe in the process of trusting my own self. When it comes to trust, I always put my attention on trusting others, I never thought of any internal process.
But just when I bought this concept internally to my own self, I found the answers to all my questions. The truth was that I had no trust on myself and never really felt that way. I was also not aware of the toll it was taking on my life. I began to note the side effects of not trusting myself – confusion, stress, anxiety and mood swings. These are some factors that need to be lessened in life so I knew I had to work upon trusting myself.
From the outside, I always felt that I never trusted people but the truth was that I didn’t trust myself. I felt I was too genuine to be good enough, too genuine to be loved and I felt I would be okay even if I messed up. I doubted myself, my possibilities, my worth and most importantly my confidence in my own depths. This was the reason I found myself swinging in numbness and pain.
It is true that things go wrong when you trust yourself more but it is also true that things go wrong and stay wrong when you trust yourself less than you should. Trust yourself and listen to your heart. No matter what the case be, remember you always get to choose what you want to do next!