Posted in The Untold Story

Staying will Hurt but so will Forgetting!

Its the hardest thing in the world to know everything about a person and then trying to forget it. All the vivid details. How they eat an egg roll with great interest. How they want a sookha golgappa with only dahi at the end. How they only liked their chai when head bursts with work. Random stories and tales they once told you .Why they think chapp is one of the best things to have and how green chillies are the worst when they come in the mouth. What makes them smile and how certain memories show up as ghosts in the graveyards of their eyes . Why love for them happens everyday is difficult to understand . 


It’s like living in their universe and realising they are the sun. 
There is a void between remembering and forgetting and all of us just hang there .You keep waiting that someday this wouldn’t hurt anymore and maybe they will come back. It’s a thing we human do fantasize Because reality is a cesspool of tragedies and living here is a nightmare . So you wish upon a shooting star that they come back but they never do .

 Forgetting sometimes hurts more than leaving . 
In our memories it never ends we just stay there wishing dreaming and laughing forever. 
Science talks about the concept of Muscle 
memory. Our muscles always remember moments. Your arms will always bend when you see them , your right eye will twitch when they are near and your lips will always mould themselves to say i love you. You will extend your right hand but there will not be a hand to hold yours. So you will keep waving it mid air suspended like half fulfilled promises. All of this is a signal that our bodies were designed to save and store things and when you try to forget something you are distrupting the equilibrium . 
Maybe its the universe screaming that staying will hurt but so will forgetting .

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Born to Live!

We are not born to die! What are you talking about; do you think a book begins just to finish? Do you think a song opens with a beautiful chord just for it to end? You don’t read the book to finish it, you read the book to eat up the excitement and the emotions it evokes. To learn and to digest and to fall in love and be heartbroken. You listen to the song to dance and dance and sing your throat raw. To cry and smile and swell with the harmonies. Yes, we are born with the inevitable fate of death, we are mortal after all, but that is merely the finale of the play; the final act, the closing of the curtains. We are not born to take a bow and exit stage left; we are born to love and be joyous and yell and move and learn and cry and feel, feel, feel! ⁣
We are not born to die, silly, we’re born to live.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

As You Like It!

Take your time to rest. The world has put too much on your plate. You don’t have to eat everything. Remember what you don’t like. Remember what hurts your stomach. Remember what you are allergic to. Remember what isn’t good for your heart. Hold this knowledge close, think, reflect, savour and choose to let go when your heart is full.

Be silent for your own sake. You have already taken responsibility for too many wars. Your skin is chipping away to someone else’s ruin. Save it for the rest of your world.

The world has put too much on your plate, you don’t have to deal with it all at once.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Live in Your Present

Most people are either living in the past or living in the future, but never in the present moment; and there’s nothing wrong with spending time in a place that once existed or a place that hasn’t been created, but don’t miss the present moment. Because living in the past stops you from moving forward, and living in the future stops you from living in the moment. Aristotle once said, young men talk about the future because they have no past; but old men talk about the past because they have no future.
The past and the future are a gift, but what can turn them into a burden is the way we perceive them, how long we remain in them, and how we spend our time with them. My invitation to you..is to visit the past, visit the future, but live the present moment.

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

Dark & Flawless

Today, I learnt an important lesson from my therapist. ⁣
At the end of our hour, she told me that although I’ve been hurt and broken badly, she can see I still have parts that aren’t shattered. ⁣
I laughed lightly and I said ‘Yeah, one day that will be all of me, no parts shattered anymore”, And she said ‘No, it won‘t.”⁣
And, for a second, I felt my heart break but she continued. “But it will be the most dominant part of you. Think of your body if you break your shoulder, even after it heals it will be tender. It will be a sore spot. You will be careful with it. There will be a gentleness when you care for it. If you crack a rib, laughing will hurt and, even after there is no longer a fracture, you may laugh lighterjust in case. You can heal, but it is okay to be aware of the parts of you that once hurt the most. The most important thing to know is that where there is tenderness, let there be gentleness.” ⁣

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Change..

Please remember that as you go through challenging moments in your life, you may not be able to change the people around you. Perhaps they will be rooted in their ways, perhaps they will have hearts that are hardened and slow to listen, or perhaps they are afraid of what will happen if they let go of what they’ve held for so long.⠀

It is not your job to change someone who is unwilling to change — not in perspectives, not in attitudes, and not even in love. But nothing can be changed that is not faced, so remind yourself that the fight is worth having, even when it’s hard.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

You Will Be Okay!

There are different kinds of people in this world. Some know exactly what it is they want to do and they’ve known forever. There are others who haven’t quite figured it out yet. Both of these kinds, believe it or not face the fear of what the future holds at various times through their life.
For the ones that have it all figured out, fear what if things don’t go as planned.
For the ones that are on their journey to find their passion, fear sets in the form of uncertainty.
Either way, no matter what happens, you’ll be okay.
Find peace and happiness in the journey to finding it because once you do, life’s got all good things in store for you.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

I Feel You…

I wonder if I’d have shouted my love for you from the rooftops, maybe the birds would have heard me, maybe they would’ve echoed it to the stars.

The stars would then share my love for you with the moon and the moon would undoubtedly pour my heart out to God. And maybe, maybe then in God’s voice you would have understood how much I love you. There aren’t enough letters in each alphabet of every language to explain how I feel about your existence. To explain how I feel about you.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

It’s Your Choice!

I know it seems like things will never get better. You feel like you are stuck in your current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time you finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock you back down. These are the days that can either destroy or define you, and it is up to you to decide which path you take.

I hope you don’t let it destroy you.
I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up. I hope you never feel like you won’t get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow. You will meet people whose impact will stay with you for years. You will learn what love really is and exactly what it is not. You will finally understand the value of being alone and all of the joy that only you can bring to yourself. You will learn to start living for yourself.

Today may not be your best day, and tomorrow might not be either, but I promise you that one day, you will wake up and realize this is the beginning of everything you have ever wanted.

Please don’t give up on your dreams and the life you always wanted for anyone. It is up to you whether you want to move forward or stand still; but know that if you choose to stay exactly where you are, you will never know how far you could have gone.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

You Will Be Fine…

You will have some bad days, weeks and may be months. But you will have to understand that happiness comes in waves and there has never been an ocean totally frozen.

It may get worse, but believe that eventually it will get better. It always does. Your growth is not defined by your bad days, you are not defined by your bad days. Take all the time you need to strive from the place you are in now. Everything is temporary and even the darkest times will pass. You will be fine, remember that.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

It’s Your Journey…

The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest. This is only because they do not wish to see anyone else suffering the way they did. Stop judging people.

Be grateful for what you have in life. Do not compare yourself with others. Your journey is yours and you have no idea what the other person has gone through.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

Heart v/s Head

Talking of the heart and the head debate, you know the head usually opts for the safer option, whereas the heart advocates the risky one. At times, because of this misalignment, it is quite possible to feel divided within the same body.

Your heart is the little voice or the intuition that guides you. When faced with a conflict, your mind may have several logical reasons to act but if you listen to your heart, you are generally more happier, because that is what you actually wanted to do or believe in. The mind which can understand the most complicated and intricate theories, the same mind can be upset over a harmless remark. The mind has no relation with deeper feelings and as a result it creates endless dramas in your life. Mind is the content but the heart is the essence.

In the conflict between the mind and the heart, it is also your emotional state in which you decide, which plays a major role. It is not wrong to follow your heart, but never do so in a state of anger or happiness, as those emotions can cloud your judgement as well as influence your decision. Follow your heart always, but at the same time, do not completely ignore what your mind has to say. A blend of heart and head will bring you closer to the most favorable decisions. You know it is the right decision when the situation satiates both your mind and heart simultaneously.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Life is All About Perspective

The situation is never at fault. It is the way you choose to view it. Your perspective is how you choose to see the world. There are many things known and many things unknown and so it is easy to be influenced. Because of it, the perception becomes distorted and affects the way you lead your life.

Deep within, each and everyone of us longs for something or someone, that we know we can never have. But there is no pursuit of happiness, no reaching for something. It is just the empty long road where you are the sole traveller. It is just us and life and the way we look at things.

How we look at things is how we look at us. What we see around us is what we see inside us. If there is no happiness in the world, you will never find any happiness in yourself.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Unexpected Love…

Sometimes the most purest form of love you will find on earth is unexpected love. In such a case, you are not looking for some one to complete you, you are not in search of some one to fill the void, you are just not broken and neither are you looking for a rebound.

One fine day, out of nowhere you meet someone. You know you weren’t looking for him and neither were you expecting him. But you met him and you are happy you did. There is always one lustrous moment just before you realize you have fallen in love and you feel a strong force just like a tornado or a whirlpool which is strong and fierce, yet amazingly inviting.

At times, we feel immense peace in the people we meet on our way because our souls have suffered so much chaos and it feels so much better and peaceful just to talk to them and see them smile. You actually feel very happy when you are around them because they are your inspiration to live. Despite all your flaws and failures, they inspire you to be your true self. They are your soulmates because they have seen the worst in you. They are by your side because they have faith in you and believe that the goodness will always lead you the way. You may have a bumpy ride with them, but these are the people who never leave, who always stick by your side.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

All Happy Faces Aren’t Happy

A smiling face does not always mean that a person is happy. Smile is something that can hide anything going on in a person’s mind. But it can hide the pain to a certain limit.

When I was going through this painful phase where I lost my mom, I was totally a different person. I would sit on park benches for hours pushing back tears, fighting to stay upright, and always seconds away from being a total freak out. Anyone passing by me, looked deeply into my bloodshot eyes or sometimes noticed the occasional break in my voice and simply would ask me what’s wrong. Frankly speaking, at that point of time I was so lost and frustrated that I simply wanted to wear a sign that said: I LOST MY MOM. PLEASE GO EASY.

When things go wrong with you, you are actually the one who has to face everything. No one can ever understand an inch of your pain that you are going through, no one has any idea of the gaping sinkhole that has just opened up and swallowed the normal life of yours.

Life is a battle and we are all warriors. Everyone around you is experiencing the collateral damage of living, in one way or the other. They are all grieving someone, fighting their own battle, missing someone and are worried about someone. Every single human being you pass by is fighting to find peace, to get through their daily tasks without breaking down. Pain-ravaged people are everywhere and we are quite oblivious to them. But no one wears the sign – I AM STRUGGLING, SO BE NICE TO ME. And since they don’t, it’s up to you and me to look more closely and be more considerate towards them. Because most people are hanging by a thread and our simple kindness can be that thread.

No matter how hard the hidden stories around us might be, if you look with the right eyes, you’ll see the signs. Be considerate, be loving because all happy faces aren’t happy.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Love is Not That Easy..

With love comes the fear of loss. The undeniable fear of losing your loved one. Just the thought of not having them by your side one day hangs heavy like a grey cloud above your head. The thought that certain events may unfold which will lead to parting ways causes an immense pain inside you just like a burning sensation.

With Love comes vulnerability, trust, loyalty and the possibility that these things mean taking pieces from your soul and giving it over to the person you love. With love you become aware of the fact that losing them will eventually cause you relentless pain. You know that if they leave you, a huge part of you, will leave your side too.

But at the same time, with loving someone comes smiles, laughs and happy tears which you will remember for lifetime. You feel an incredible peace, a peace, that you know you will never be able to find again. With loving someone comes serenity, contentment, understanding and a friendship which will never leave you feeling cold. No matter how far you go, you know you will never forget those days.

With love comes fear, sure but it is also accompanied by a fearlessness that you didn’t know you could summon. There comes a happiness which stays, and believe me when I say that, because it does stay!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Be Brave, Be Alone!

Be brave to be alone. By alone I mean not depending on someone else for your happiness, by alone I mean a future where your goals rely on you, by alone I mean strolling on a beach barefoot with sand between your feet and winds rustling past your face.

Be brave enough to love yourself. Love yourself enough to walk away, say no when you have had too much, smile at your own reflection when life feels grim. Be brave enough to be there for your own self. Have the power to wipe your own tears when you have no one beside you but a human-sized ache resting next to you. Hold your falling pieces together because if you don’t then you will fall apart and there will be no one to save you.

Be brave enough to be the right person for yourself because if you are brave to do what’s right for you, then you will never feel lonely even when you are alone.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Train Yourself To Let Go All That You Fear To Lose!

To be honest, facing your fear is the right thing to do. You can’t train yourself for it, you simply need to face it. Keep a strong belief in yourself that what is meant to stay in your life will stay no matter how many odds are in your favor. If you fear and worry about things, it only makes you suffer twice. So it’s better to have faith in yourself and keep going ahead. You’ll overcome all your fears eventually. Believe in the universe and the way it puts up things for you. Ultimately, remember the mantra for life that whatever happens, happens for the good.

Voluntarily or involuntarily, attachments happen and we get close to people. We may not be totally aware but with attachment comes a fear of loss. The fear of loss paralyses you to act sensibly and you feel as if everything is going down in flames. Life is beautiful, but it is only beautiful because it is finite. No matter you are having a good time or a bad time, always remember that – This too shall pass.

Whether you are in deep despair or in the midst of the greatest experience of happiness, remembering this truth will serve us well. Resistance to impermanence along with the ever-changing flow of all things in life, is a great cause of suffering. Let pass what must pass. Let go all that you fear to lose!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Happy Endings – Reality or Myth?

We humans love happy endings. But does every story ends in a happily ever after? I guess no. Some stories start to end, some to teach us a life lesson and some to make us a better person. There are happy stories as well which give us hope and sad ones are those that show us the true mirror of life.

I always trusted happy endings. Since my childhood I loved the stories of Cinderella and Snow White where happy endings existed throughout. Life was never a fairy tale for me but it wasn’t a bed of thorns as well. What I fail to understand is that is it the fact that happiness is only meaningful when it is found at last and less significant when it is found earlier in life and is followed by unhappiness? Loving a happy ending is just a human abstraction where a happy ending is similar to death ending our life; a full-stop. But in life, happy and sad moments do not leave us. Life is unfair yet we crave for happy endings.

Things happen, sometimes good sometimes bad, but it is important to move on. It is important to be the person you are, not what your problems force you to be. In life not all stories have happy endings, some stay incomplete and some without an ending altogether. All you need to do is keep your head held high whatever be the situation.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s Not A Big Deal To Have a Bad Day!

It is always important to maintain a positive attitude in life. But it is also true that life is not always perfect. It is impossible to live your life always in a positive state of mind. Everywhere we look we are continuously being told to be happy and also that we have the ability to manifest our perfect life. Being positive can be exhausting and sometimes, depressing. We can’t simply begin to live a life devoid of any sadness or negative emotions.

When life takes a downward lane, it is normal to blame ourselves. But you should remember to avoid blatant negativity. Just like nature has to go through the darkness of winter in order to experience the rebirth of spring, in a similar fashion, life’s hard times must be lived. The storms of life teach us a lot.

We tend to evaluate and judge our feelings, and those which make us uncomfortable, we term them as bad. We then naturally try all possible means to avoid these negative feelings. The skill of converting negative feelings into positive action is a healthy skill to develop. However, the overuse of it may help avoid feelings which may later manifest themselves as anxiety, depression or you can also term it as the overall discontentment with our life. So it is really important to learn how to process negative emotions. No matter what, just remember it is a phase which will eventually pass. You are having a bad day not a bad life. And that is perfectly fine!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s Okay To Feel Your Feelings

When it comes to feelings, you may believe certain feelings are bad and some good. Remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional and have a broad range of feelings, which truly have a purpose. Feelings ought to be expressed or else suppressed emotions at times manifest themselves in quite an improper manner.

If there was only happiness, it would eventually lose its luster over time. So it is important to experience sadness and unhappiness as well so as to truly appreciate the beauty of it all. Without being aware of the dark sadness we would not be able to appreciate the light of happiness.

Feelings too have a life cycle. They take birth, bloom, they peak and then die off. But that is how it is. The sooner you accept it, the better. Even in couples, after a disagreement, there will be resentment and anger which is not expressed. If the underlying feelings remain unexpressed, it generally leads to a disproportionate disconnect. All the unexpressed feelings will eventually explode.

It is important that we allow ourselves to fully engage with our feelings. Even if you feel sad, challenge yourself to stay compassionate which will help you to widen your emotional bandwidth and normalize feelings like sadness, despair or anger.

It is very important to embrace your feelings. Close your eyes and let your emotions consume you, cover you like a blanket, warm you from the inside out. After all, it’s absolutely okay to feel your feelings.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons, Shades of Life, The Untold Story

True Love is A Deliberate Choice

Generally it is not about the romantic way you meet someone. It’s basically about your compatibility, gestures and adoration. When it comes down to one thing to sustain love, it’s definitely choice. When you choose to love someone, it’s your decision. Every second, you put some effort to nurture that love and this gets us in trouble. I feel its wrong to say that love is something which happens to us. It’s something we make happen.

Love is an action, a pure choice, a commitment. The most beautiful thing about love is that you know that you are chosen by the person you chose. Love needs sacrifice and it won’t always be easy. But it is most beautiful when reciprocated. When you love someone you have something which is so profound. You have a home in that person, where you can be your own self, somewhere you can rest without being judged.

You will have some one who sees you truly and loves you forever. You don’t choose the one you will be attracted to, but you choose the one with whom you will stay in love with. Feelings are fleeting, it is a fickle thing. How you are feeling today will not resonate with the way you feel tomorrow. But real love is constant, it’s tangible. And when life becomes too unbearable, it’s love that gives us the strength. Feelings do not play any role here. When life throws us a curve ball, it’s in love where you will get the much-needed stability. You can’t just abandon love specially when its hard.

Love isn’t really a feeling, nor is it a state of euphoria. It’s hard work which needs constant compromise. Feelings can flicker, it can come and go. But real love? It stays and goes on forever!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Raise a Toast For a Century!

So I just completed a hundred posts on WordPress. Initially when I joined WP, I was quite sceptical whether I would be able to write regularly and maintain the flow. Nevertheless, I am happy that eventually I was able to succeed. Writing is one such habit which makes you a lot more particular about yourself and brings in clarity of thoughts.

With a plethora of things to scribble, I myself didn’t realise that I had come such a long way. So, here I am raising a toast for my little offering to this big blogging world.

Finally, thanks to each and every one of you who are willing to read what I write. This journey would never have been so great without you people. So keep Reading & Supporting 🙂

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Way back home

At times in life, you will feel that the journey itself is better than the destination. 

The journey is daunting and tiring. There is neither any pilot nor any driver. There is no map to bring you back home. There are no fellow travelers. The road is long and is of course not a smooth one. At times it may even happen that you don’t even know where you are or rather to put it straight where you wish to be.

Yet, you don’t lose hope and manage your way through it. You simply wish to reach home safely.

And when you are finally there, you know you’re safe. You are happy and at ease because you now know your soul has a place to rest. And that’s all that you’ll ever need.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Rejoice! Weekend is here!

Thankfully the weekend is here. For others every Friday is a “Friyay” because the next two days are the most awaited days. But in my case, it’s different. I work at a place where beside Sundays, only the third Saturday is an official off. So, of course it is really monotonous for me. I eagerly look forward to relaxing and destressing this weekend. 

“Sleep like there is no tomorrow!” This quote would work perfectly for me this weekend.

HAPPY WEEKEND GUYS!!


ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Happy life 

 I want to establish that a happy life is a matter of choice. A happy life is not one lived in El-dorado. Neither is it a perfect life.

Once you have fulfilled the premise of deciding to be happy. You must ensure some tenets to sustain it:-

Observe the golden rule : do unto others as you will have them do to you. This equally takes care of the third law of motion, in effect what eversion you sow you will reap. And equally reduces bad effects of some karma.

Express unbiased love . Avoid any form of wickedness it is absolutely useless, you will hurt yourself and eventually rob you of a happy life.

As much as you can be kind.

Live within your means. Modesty should be pursued almost zealously.

Learn to be spiritual, as it curtails vanity that propagates anxiety. At least some form of meditation will be nice. You can try heartfulness meditation if you have no idea.

Have a purpose driven life, live for something that is goal oriented , especially for the benefits of mankind, in the long run and not necessarily for self aggradizement . But understand that some unanswered prayers are also answers sometimes.

It is a tough world, but avoid stress as much as you can. Take care of you, no one can do it better. Some form of self love is essential for preservation. Love yourself, narcissism is relative but do not be carried away. Living for others remains noble and the ultimate service.

Do not compare yourself to others and expect less from people but wish them well all the time.

In each situation make the best out of it, and learn to accept responsibilities. Blaming others have never transmuted to stardom. Learn to forgive , forgetting can be handled later.

Take time to be a child, laugh at your self, play, dance, have faith without borders as children do. Believe in miracles. Only those who do will experience it.

Shades Of Life

Posted in Shades of Life

Shades Of Life #4 – Stay happy, stay blessed

Because none of us have many years to live, and we can’t take along anything when we go, so we don’t have to be too thrifty.* 

*Spend the money that should be spent, enjoy what should be enjoyed, donate what you are able to donate*

*DON’T WORRY about what will happen after we are gone, because when we return to dust, we will feel nothing about praises or criticisms. The time to enjoy the worldly life and your hard earned wealth will be over!*

*DON’T WORRY too much about your children, for children will have their own destiny and should find their own way.  Care for them, love them, give them gifts but also enjoy your money or what is left of it, while you can. Life should have more to it than working from the cradle to the grave!!*

*50-year olds, don’t trade in – your health for wealth, by working yourself to an early grave anymore. Because your money may not be able to buy your health.*

*When to stop making money, and how much is enough?              

*Out  of thousand hectares of good farm land, you can consume only three quarts (of rice) daily; out of a thousand mansions, you only need eight square meters of  space to rest at night.*

*So, as long as you have enough food and enough money to spend, that is good enough. You should live happily. Every family has its own problems.*

*Just DO NOT COMPARE with others for fame and social status and see whose children are doing better etc., but challenge others for happiness, health, enjoyment, quality of  life and longevity.*

*DON’T WORRY about things that you can’t change because it doesn’t help and it may spoil your health.*

*You have to create your own well-being and find your own place of happiness. As long  as you are in good mood and good health, think about happy things, do happy things daily and have fun in doing, then you will pass your time happily every day.*

*One day passes WITHOUT happiness*, *you will lose one day.*

*One day passes WITH happiness and then you gain one day.*

*In good spirit, sickness will cure*;

*In a happy spirit, sickness will cure faster;*

*in high and happy spirits, sickness will never come.*

*With good mood, exercise, sun, variety of foods, good amount of vitamin and mineral intake, hopefully you will live another 20 or 30 years of  healthy life.

*ABOVE ALL* –

Learn to cherish the goodness around… *like your spouse and FRIENDS*……….. *They all make you feel young and “wanted”… without them you are surely to feel lost !!*

Wishing you all the best for the years to come.  
Shades Of Life