Posted in In A Nut Shell

Trust Yourself!

Self-doubt, lack of confidence, not believing you are good enough, and aiming for perfectionism can block you from attempting anything. It can create a fear of failure. This fear holds you back and you might not even have the courage to try. When you don’t try, you inevitably always fail.
It is a negative feedback loop, because when you fail, it is confirming your self belief that you aren’t good enough and again you will not ontinue to try.

Luckily the opposite is also true. When you believe you are good enough, you don’t strive for perfection but just to be enough. You are hopeful and give it a go. Even if you then fail, you had a chance at success and you would have always learned from it.

As Brene Brown says, when you are not sure if you should or shouldn’t do something, ask yourself:
Is it worth doing, even if I fail?

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Mindset…

The only difference between the successful and unsuccessful is mindset. The only difference between the happy and unhappy is mindset. The only thing that can make or break your life is mindset.

Your mind is the most powerful computer in this world. Learn to use it to your advantage.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

It’s Your Journey…

The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest. This is only because they do not wish to see anyone else suffering the way they did. Stop judging people.

Be grateful for what you have in life. Do not compare yourself with others. Your journey is yours and you have no idea what the other person has gone through.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

In Love…

When you worry more for someone else and less for yourself,

When someone is always in your mind and your prayers,

When someones’ tears cause immense pain in your heart,

When you smile seeing them happy ,

When their struggles tire you and their pain tears you in two,

This is the point when you realize you are in love. ❤

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Let Go of The Past!

Feeling distressed? Listen, it is really important to make sure that you don’t define your life with what you are facing and feeling this very moment. Look at your past and acknowledge all the moments. Both the good as well as the bad ones.

All you need to do is just have faith in the healing capacity of time. Be grateful for the good times. Things will soon start falling in place. You will once again start feeling calm, happy and relaxed. The best part being you solely have the control to feel positive again.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Break Out Of Your Shell!

It goes unsaid that in the darkest hour of our life, we shine the most. If you look at the rain, it teaches you not to hide, but shine at the places you don’t belong to. You need to come out of your comfort zone to understand your true potential. You only become aware of your inherent abilities when the things are odd. Overcoming your fears and fighting against them will surely give you immense amount of pleasure because it is then you realize how tough you are from the inside.

The problem with us these days is that we take everything for granted. This is the reason why happy moments no longer seem happy anymore, and we begin to lose every hope when life becomes tough. We want miracles to happen and hope for a better future. Although it is good to be inquisitive, but you know asking too many questions and not trying to get a single answer is also not going to help.

At times it happen that the blurred pictures are the most beautiful and the people with sad past make the most beautiful future. So, hold the thread of hope. It is just the beginning and the beginning needs strength. Believe in yourself first if you want others to believe in you.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

To The One Who Was Never Mine

The day I learned not to bother about whatever was happening with you was the day I realized, that my heart is brave to strike off that one thing which I had kept on the highest pedestal since so long. That day I accepted that what’s not meant to happen, no matter how hard I try, no matter how far I run, will not happen. And practically speaking, there is no loss in losing what was never yours, there is no defeat in stepping outside, empty-handed, there is no guilt in giving up on something which never held on to you.

That day I understood that my heart isn’t a graveyard of your memories, where I had buried each one of them chronologically. My heart is certainly not a garden of remembrance where you visit once in a blue moon to offer your condolences to my fallen hopes.

The day your words managed to pierce through the walls of my delicate heart, which were once filled with love, only for you; that day itself you managed to earn my ignorance. From that day itself, your existence never really mattered to me, anymore. So, congrats you have permanently destroyed a perpetual source of love. You have been successful in pushing away a pair of palms that, whenever folded, prayed for you. You successfully lost each and every wish that was meant only for you.

But, forget not that everything, good or bad, eventually comes to an end. So will this, one day. For now, I am letting it burn, our unfinished book, I don’t remember what page number were we at, I don’t remember what chapter had I started before you tore it apart. Neither do I want to remember. I just hope you have a happy and a successful life.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It!

We’ve all heard the phrase which says that “ the grass is greener on the other side of the fence”. But it cannot be ignored that comparison is the thief of joy. We always compare ourselves with others and think that what other people have is better. It’s pure perception. Because the people on the other side of the fence are under the impression that your grass is greener!

But the fact is that if you really want “greener grass, ” you need to take care of your own lawn. Water it and fertilize it. Take care of what you have, and watch it flourish. The grass is rarely greener on the other side, as a matter of fact it is greener where you water it. It is you who has the power to make the adjustments in your life that you crave for. If you want to be happier at work, then be grateful you have a job, and choose to be happy at work. If you have a tussle among your friends, talk to them and solve the matter.

When you spend more time on worrying about and focusing on what everyone else’s garden (ie. life, career, relationships, etc.) looks like, you’re simply wasting your own precious time that could otherwise be spent on catering to your own yard. Do the best you can for yourself!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger!

Friedrich Nietzsche in this statement says that when you go through tough times, you gradually build up the strength for the next painful event. In case of a trauma, it may be quite a comforting thought. But most importantly, how do you feel about this statement? Does it resonate with you, or does it sound cliched?

It can be viewed as a war wound, to heal from a really bad time feeling more powerful and ready to take on the next battle. But with me, that is not quite the case. Especially after rough days and tough times, I find myself weaker and more sad. For me the quote goes like – What doesn’t kill you hurts you incredibly and makes you vulnerable and pathetic.

At times, it happens that a few tough situations help in becoming a stronger person. But the really big things, the things that totally altered my life without my consent, the loss of my most loved ones, the horrible experience of being desperately lonely or panic-stricken with anxiety and such other times have bought nothing empowering in me. I’ve felt my heart shatter into pieces and my soul dry, but I never felt stronger after those days. I was only happy that they were over.

I personally feel that strength doesn’t come from life’s worst moments, rather it comes from the best. Whenever I am loved, I feel strong. I find strength in the times when I’ve been most generous and caring. I find strength when I am able to deal well with the bad days. But I feel weak when I face those gloomy bad days. So with me, what doesn’t kill me, does not make me stronger, rather it makes me more weaker and snatches the entire energy out of my existence.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

Heart v/s Head

Talking of the heart and the head debate, you know the head usually opts for the safer option, whereas the heart advocates the risky one. At times, because of this misalignment, it is quite possible to feel divided within the same body.

Your heart is the little voice or the intuition that guides you. When faced with a conflict, your mind may have several logical reasons to act but if you listen to your heart, you are generally more happier, because that is what you actually wanted to do or believe in. The mind which can understand the most complicated and intricate theories, the same mind can be upset over a harmless remark. The mind has no relation with deeper feelings and as a result it creates endless dramas in your life. Mind is the content but the heart is the essence.

In the conflict between the mind and the heart, it is also your emotional state in which you decide, which plays a major role. It is not wrong to follow your heart, but never do so in a state of anger or happiness, as those emotions can cloud your judgement as well as influence your decision. Follow your heart always, but at the same time, do not completely ignore what your mind has to say. A blend of heart and head will bring you closer to the most favorable decisions. You know it is the right decision when the situation satiates both your mind and heart simultaneously.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

The Accidental Freelancer

I was a voracious reader ever since my school days. From the very formative years of learning, I was totally inclined towards English. Fast-forward a few decades, I have been lucky enough to spend the last three years as a full-time as well as a freelance writer. It is not always easy, but it is a fulfilling career in itself, that allows me to do what I love, write!

I have always preferred the company of books over people. It is not that I do not like people. Of course I do. It is just that when I am too much surrounded with people, even though it be my dearest and close ones; there is always a moment when I would rather prefer reading a book.

As a freelance writer, what I like the most is that you rarely entirely switch off. At least, I don’t! There’s always an article which is going on in the back of my mind, or an idea for a new pitch to write on or something that I have already written. In the beginning, it was just a hobby, writing one piece a month and then gradually in a week. But now, it is my routine, my lifestyle, a part of my being. Now, I write daily and I get that instant urge to start typing and pen down what ever is there in my head. Accidental freelancer because never had I ever thought of being a freelance writer. I just came across random clients and undertook the projects that were offered to me. Happy in my profession, happy being an accidental freelancer.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Life is Too Short To be Stuck in a Labyrinth of Misery!

Frankly speaking, there are no rules in life. You can trust what you want to and easily change those beliefs when you wish. You are not defined by your past and you can change it when you want! It is most important to follow what makes you happy. Even in relationships, there is no need to feel miserable. You cannot be with someone for life and it needs a strong conviction. It is tough to believe that you will probably never hear from this person again and unfulfilled love is indeed soul-crushing. But not everything is meant to go your way. Many people are not destined to be together and you simply cannot deny that fact.

These days I’ve been so much more at peace with myself, I am happy where I’m at and I believe it’s better to let things move forward in their own direction. You can’t simply force things on others. A lot of people, I had issues with, are no longer there in my life. Many new people have come in and are strong pillars of support. I am allowing both, the opportunities and the people who are meant for me to come my way and to let go all that what isn’t. I’ve learned to recognize when I’m being negative towards myself and how to raise myself up instead and turn things around.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Unexpected Love…

Sometimes the most purest form of love you will find on earth is unexpected love. In such a case, you are not looking for some one to complete you, you are not in search of some one to fill the void, you are just not broken and neither are you looking for a rebound.

One fine day, out of nowhere you meet someone. You know you weren’t looking for him and neither were you expecting him. But you met him and you are happy you did. There is always one lustrous moment just before you realize you have fallen in love and you feel a strong force just like a tornado or a whirlpool which is strong and fierce, yet amazingly inviting.

At times, we feel immense peace in the people we meet on our way because our souls have suffered so much chaos and it feels so much better and peaceful just to talk to them and see them smile. You actually feel very happy when you are around them because they are your inspiration to live. Despite all your flaws and failures, they inspire you to be your true self. They are your soulmates because they have seen the worst in you. They are by your side because they have faith in you and believe that the goodness will always lead you the way. You may have a bumpy ride with them, but these are the people who never leave, who always stick by your side.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

All Happy Faces Aren’t Happy

A smiling face does not always mean that a person is happy. Smile is something that can hide anything going on in a person’s mind. But it can hide the pain to a certain limit.

When I was going through this painful phase where I lost my mom, I was totally a different person. I would sit on park benches for hours pushing back tears, fighting to stay upright, and always seconds away from being a total freak out. Anyone passing by me, looked deeply into my bloodshot eyes or sometimes noticed the occasional break in my voice and simply would ask me what’s wrong. Frankly speaking, at that point of time I was so lost and frustrated that I simply wanted to wear a sign that said: I LOST MY MOM. PLEASE GO EASY.

When things go wrong with you, you are actually the one who has to face everything. No one can ever understand an inch of your pain that you are going through, no one has any idea of the gaping sinkhole that has just opened up and swallowed the normal life of yours.

Life is a battle and we are all warriors. Everyone around you is experiencing the collateral damage of living, in one way or the other. They are all grieving someone, fighting their own battle, missing someone and are worried about someone. Every single human being you pass by is fighting to find peace, to get through their daily tasks without breaking down. Pain-ravaged people are everywhere and we are quite oblivious to them. But no one wears the sign – I AM STRUGGLING, SO BE NICE TO ME. And since they don’t, it’s up to you and me to look more closely and be more considerate towards them. Because most people are hanging by a thread and our simple kindness can be that thread.

No matter how hard the hidden stories around us might be, if you look with the right eyes, you’ll see the signs. Be considerate, be loving because all happy faces aren’t happy.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Love is Not That Easy..

With love comes the fear of loss. The undeniable fear of losing your loved one. Just the thought of not having them by your side one day hangs heavy like a grey cloud above your head. The thought that certain events may unfold which will lead to parting ways causes an immense pain inside you just like a burning sensation.

With Love comes vulnerability, trust, loyalty and the possibility that these things mean taking pieces from your soul and giving it over to the person you love. With love you become aware of the fact that losing them will eventually cause you relentless pain. You know that if they leave you, a huge part of you, will leave your side too.

But at the same time, with loving someone comes smiles, laughs and happy tears which you will remember for lifetime. You feel an incredible peace, a peace, that you know you will never be able to find again. With loving someone comes serenity, contentment, understanding and a friendship which will never leave you feeling cold. No matter how far you go, you know you will never forget those days.

With love comes fear, sure but it is also accompanied by a fearlessness that you didn’t know you could summon. There comes a happiness which stays, and believe me when I say that, because it does stay!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Be Brave, Be Alone!

Be brave to be alone. By alone I mean not depending on someone else for your happiness, by alone I mean a future where your goals rely on you, by alone I mean strolling on a beach barefoot with sand between your feet and winds rustling past your face.

Be brave enough to love yourself. Love yourself enough to walk away, say no when you have had too much, smile at your own reflection when life feels grim. Be brave enough to be there for your own self. Have the power to wipe your own tears when you have no one beside you but a human-sized ache resting next to you. Hold your falling pieces together because if you don’t then you will fall apart and there will be no one to save you.

Be brave enough to be the right person for yourself because if you are brave to do what’s right for you, then you will never feel lonely even when you are alone.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

When Life is A Mess..

I frankly don’t have a clue what I am going to write about but the past few days have been quite strange for me. I mean I am fine and there is not much happening in my life but there is this heaviness I feel whenever I breathe. I feel like my mind is occupied with nothing yet everything. Somewhere I wish I had some sort of consistency in life. It is simply like as soon as I am happy something bad happens. Or you know, even when it doesn’t my mood just drops down and on a serious note I am tired. I don’t know whether this is just a phase or it will last forever.

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that there is no forever, but there is. Forever has to be an infinite number but at times forever is as small as a kiss, as small as those gusts of wind rippling your hair, as small as the ocean waves hitting the shore. The moments you never wanted to end but it ended nevertheless. I don’t know if this phase is a short forever or a long one. Some days I am all good, doing my bit, happy, joyous and lively. But on the other days, I am on my bed, too numb to even write. These are those moments when I feel the sound of the clock ticking or the switched on lights, even these become too much to take. When I feel helpless and energy-less to even get out of bed is when I sink deeper and deeper. These moments make me question my existence and I fail to understand my own self.

You know that feeling when you get to read your favorite book but it is in some other language which you can’t comprehend and all you want to do is simply tear off the pages. These are my feelings. These emotions are mine and I simply do not know how to understand it all. All that I want is to end all of this. But this is how life is, the unhappiness, the pain, the resentment, the anger is all there! May be I will be better tomorrow, may be not! This is quite sudden and time taking but I hope all goes well in the end. Either there is a hopeless end or an endless hope!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Choice – A Blessing or Curse?

Your life basically is a sum of all the choices that you make. The better your choices, better is the opportunity to live a happy life. You know what is funny is that there was a time when I never believed I had a choice. I would have chosen to please everyone else except my own self because I feared the judgement which I thought would come with the choice that would be right for me.

Choices in reality do not really exist if your main focus is to keep others happy. Though this can be incredibly freeing, it can also be quite scary at the same time. It is important to note that if you want to put everyone else’s wishes above your own, then the choice is easy – do what it takes to make everyone happy! But doing this is not that easy. You need to decide whose feelings matter more? Is it yours or others?

If you’ve ever been caught in one of these situations, you know it’s a lose-lose situation plus it is quite exhausting and you begin questioning yourself if this people pleasing mission is really worth it? It is all basically not worth the headache that starts to build and it is better to make choices that are right for you in the long run.

I’ve on and oft quoted that “other people’s opinions of us are none of our business”. At times it is easier to believe that there is no choice because then we can stop any kind of disappointment which may arise from living upto others expectations and sacrificing our own happiness. If your own happiness isn’t a priority, then having a choice is indeed a blessing. If you do not want to believe that putting the happiness of others may ultimately result in sacrificing your own, then it is definitely viewed as a curse. The good news? It is your choice!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Happy Endings – Reality or Myth?

We humans love happy endings. But does every story ends in a happily ever after? I guess no. Some stories start to end, some to teach us a life lesson and some to make us a better person. There are happy stories as well which give us hope and sad ones are those that show us the true mirror of life.

I always trusted happy endings. Since my childhood I loved the stories of Cinderella and Snow White where happy endings existed throughout. Life was never a fairy tale for me but it wasn’t a bed of thorns as well. What I fail to understand is that is it the fact that happiness is only meaningful when it is found at last and less significant when it is found earlier in life and is followed by unhappiness? Loving a happy ending is just a human abstraction where a happy ending is similar to death ending our life; a full-stop. But in life, happy and sad moments do not leave us. Life is unfair yet we crave for happy endings.

Things happen, sometimes good sometimes bad, but it is important to move on. It is important to be the person you are, not what your problems force you to be. In life not all stories have happy endings, some stay incomplete and some without an ending altogether. All you need to do is keep your head held high whatever be the situation.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Find Peace During Times of Chaos!

At times you want someone to simply be there with you. Not to fix anything but to let you know that you are cared for. At times I feel something deep inside me which makes me hollow, something that invades me, which shakes my entire being. It’s a struggle to get out of bed and all I want is to isolate myself from everyone and everything. I hate having no control in my life and losing people who are the most important to me, but you know life is unfair and it does just that.

Finding peace in even the most chaotic situations is the key to a happier living. Take a step back and focus on the silver lining. When things go wrong, even then there are some things which can be right. Believe that better things are making way to you and turn your vision into reality. Distract your mind from all the unnecessary worrying and keep yourself busy. Know that you are not alone and surround yourself with your favorite people.

I am someone who feel things deeply and have a lot of trouble in cutting people from my life. It is too tough to imagine your life without people whom you consider are your world. The last thing I would want to do on earth is to leave the people I love behind and move on in life without them. But just as every dark cloud has a silver lining, there is always hope for better things to come.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s Not A Big Deal To Have a Bad Day!

It is always important to maintain a positive attitude in life. But it is also true that life is not always perfect. It is impossible to live your life always in a positive state of mind. Everywhere we look we are continuously being told to be happy and also that we have the ability to manifest our perfect life. Being positive can be exhausting and sometimes, depressing. We can’t simply begin to live a life devoid of any sadness or negative emotions.

When life takes a downward lane, it is normal to blame ourselves. But you should remember to avoid blatant negativity. Just like nature has to go through the darkness of winter in order to experience the rebirth of spring, in a similar fashion, life’s hard times must be lived. The storms of life teach us a lot.

We tend to evaluate and judge our feelings, and those which make us uncomfortable, we term them as bad. We then naturally try all possible means to avoid these negative feelings. The skill of converting negative feelings into positive action is a healthy skill to develop. However, the overuse of it may help avoid feelings which may later manifest themselves as anxiety, depression or you can also term it as the overall discontentment with our life. So it is really important to learn how to process negative emotions. No matter what, just remember it is a phase which will eventually pass. You are having a bad day not a bad life. And that is perfectly fine!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s Okay To Feel Your Feelings

When it comes to feelings, you may believe certain feelings are bad and some good. Remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional and have a broad range of feelings, which truly have a purpose. Feelings ought to be expressed or else suppressed emotions at times manifest themselves in quite an improper manner.

If there was only happiness, it would eventually lose its luster over time. So it is important to experience sadness and unhappiness as well so as to truly appreciate the beauty of it all. Without being aware of the dark sadness we would not be able to appreciate the light of happiness.

Feelings too have a life cycle. They take birth, bloom, they peak and then die off. But that is how it is. The sooner you accept it, the better. Even in couples, after a disagreement, there will be resentment and anger which is not expressed. If the underlying feelings remain unexpressed, it generally leads to a disproportionate disconnect. All the unexpressed feelings will eventually explode.

It is important that we allow ourselves to fully engage with our feelings. Even if you feel sad, challenge yourself to stay compassionate which will help you to widen your emotional bandwidth and normalize feelings like sadness, despair or anger.

It is very important to embrace your feelings. Close your eyes and let your emotions consume you, cover you like a blanket, warm you from the inside out. After all, it’s absolutely okay to feel your feelings.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Raise a Toast For a Century!

So I just completed a hundred posts on WordPress. Initially when I joined WP, I was quite sceptical whether I would be able to write regularly and maintain the flow. Nevertheless, I am happy that eventually I was able to succeed. Writing is one such habit which makes you a lot more particular about yourself and brings in clarity of thoughts.

With a plethora of things to scribble, I myself didn’t realise that I had come such a long way. So, here I am raising a toast for my little offering to this big blogging world.

Finally, thanks to each and every one of you who are willing to read what I write. This journey would never have been so great without you people. So keep Reading & Supporting 🙂

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Rejoice! Weekend is here!

Thankfully the weekend is here. For others every Friday is a “Friyay” because the next two days are the most awaited days. But in my case, it’s different. I work at a place where beside Sundays, only the third Saturday is an official off. So, of course it is really monotonous for me. I eagerly look forward to relaxing and destressing this weekend. 

“Sleep like there is no tomorrow!” This quote would work perfectly for me this weekend.

HAPPY WEEKEND GUYS!!


ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Happy life 

 I want to establish that a happy life is a matter of choice. A happy life is not one lived in El-dorado. Neither is it a perfect life.

Once you have fulfilled the premise of deciding to be happy. You must ensure some tenets to sustain it:-

Observe the golden rule : do unto others as you will have them do to you. This equally takes care of the third law of motion, in effect what eversion you sow you will reap. And equally reduces bad effects of some karma.

Express unbiased love . Avoid any form of wickedness it is absolutely useless, you will hurt yourself and eventually rob you of a happy life.

As much as you can be kind.

Live within your means. Modesty should be pursued almost zealously.

Learn to be spiritual, as it curtails vanity that propagates anxiety. At least some form of meditation will be nice. You can try heartfulness meditation if you have no idea.

Have a purpose driven life, live for something that is goal oriented , especially for the benefits of mankind, in the long run and not necessarily for self aggradizement . But understand that some unanswered prayers are also answers sometimes.

It is a tough world, but avoid stress as much as you can. Take care of you, no one can do it better. Some form of self love is essential for preservation. Love yourself, narcissism is relative but do not be carried away. Living for others remains noble and the ultimate service.

Do not compare yourself to others and expect less from people but wish them well all the time.

In each situation make the best out of it, and learn to accept responsibilities. Blaming others have never transmuted to stardom. Learn to forgive , forgetting can be handled later.

Take time to be a child, laugh at your self, play, dance, have faith without borders as children do. Believe in miracles. Only those who do will experience it.

Shades Of Life

Posted in Shades of Life

Festival of lights

Well, the time is here again when firecrackers light up and rule the skies. The entire country is illuminated by the warm glow of the flame dancing on diyas and colourful candles. I believe the entire festival is quite amazing in itself except the bursting of firecrackers. Too much of air and noise pollution.

I feel pity for those birds who will probably choke in the smoke that blankets the sky. Pets like dogs and cats who do not feel safe around so much of hustle and bustle. Anyways, besides this, it’s all good. 

Have a happy and safe Diwali!

Shades Of Life

Posted in Shades of Life

Thank you readers ☺

100+ followers. Yeah. This might be a small count for many but its a big achievement for me. Finally a milestone achieved. A big thank you to my followers who kept reading my posts. It would not have been possible without you people. Hope all are fine in health and spirits. Lets continue to inspire each other and make this journey happy. Happy Blogging!
Shades Of Life