I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.
The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.
So, I am back with my introvert struggles series. If you haven’t yet checked out the previous introvert posts, you can simply click here for it.
I have always felt as an introvert it is sometimes very hard for others to understand what I am thinking or feeling. Communicating things verbally always doesn’t come easy for me and to be honest, I am not very good at being vulnerable. It often takes me a very long time to be comfortable around most people. But soon after I let down my walls and start to really care about someone, I am all in.
You must have heard that – “Actions speak louder than words.” It very well serves as a life mantra for me. If you really are curious as to how the introverts in your life feel about you, rest assured as their actions may speak volumes even when their words will not.
There are people who like to invest a lot of energy and get a lot back. Some people don’t want to invest a lot and don’t expect a lot back. The people who are deemed the extroverts in pop literature, the people who are social butterflies, what they get back on an interpersonal level is sufficient for them.
As introverts, we need to be aware of this. While small talk is draining for us, meaningful conversations are energizing. They require us to expend energy, but they also give us energy back.
Haven’t we all talked for hours about something we are passionate about, and been at a loss about what to say when we are talking politely with an acquaintance? As an introvert, social conversations can be a challenge for me. I didn’t realize earlier that one of the reasons for this is the difference in the rhythms of how introverts and extroverts communicate.
When we are asked a question, introverts usually pause to think about it before replying. We need this space to formulate our answers. This is different from extroverts, who formulate their answers while talking. Two different identities with their own existence. Isn’t that beautiful!
–Shades Of Life
Tortoises are out of fashion. They are no longer the wise ones, taking one patient step after another, coming out victorious in the end. Today, they are the ones who can’t cross the road fast enough, the ones most likely to get hit by a car.
There is shame involved in being a tortoise.
And so I have spent a considerable chunk of my life trying to turn into an extroverted hare, coming up with rationalizations for why I am not, most definitely not, an introverted tortoise.
For one, I don’t move slowly. In fact, I love to dance. I am quick in perceiving and understanding what people say and mean. I am not slow-witted.
But these explanations don’t quite cover what it means to be a tortoise—how their rhythms are slow and deep, how they enjoy taking in the scenery instead of rushing past, how they need the shell that protects their most vulnerable, precious self.
As introverts, it’s easy for us to get alienated from our own nature because of the extrovert bias in the culture at large. So, how do we reconnect with and start celebrating ourselves? It starts with self-awareness and living our own truths.
–Shades Of Life
So today I was engrossed in my thoughts of my early career days, I had a boss who wanted me to speak up more in meetings and be more outgoing, but with my introverted nature I liked to think things through first and not just blurt out an idea or a response. I was exhorted to be someone I wasn’t and it made me feel defective. Of course I wasn’t defective. None of us are though some extroverts still think otherwise. Nowadays I truly celebrate my introverted nature and have created a lifestyle that feeds me.
–Shades Of Life
I am not alone with my “weird” schedule and feelings about socializing, etc. Every time I try to get on a “normal” schedule, it backfires and I’m miserable – I definitely wind up with my joy robbed. I know emotional trauma from my past has contributed to my inability to “rehabilitate” myself. But without a doubt I was born an introvert. I enjoy socializing one on one but group get togethers are not my thing at all and stresses me to the max. My acquaintances want me to get with the rest of humanity (early to bed, early to rise) but I’m going to have to find the courage to say, No, that won’t work for me. When I try it, I become exhausted and practically unable to function.
A counselor once actually told me that with everything I’d been through, I shouldn’t add one more thing and force myself to “better” my schedule. It was such a relief to hear that. AND, I just happened to see the article today that people who go to bed late and sleep late are likely intelligent and creative people. I’m going to get some mileage out of that one
And then a few hours later I read that it’s okay to live a life that is suited to me, the way I’m wired. I’ve always been in the minority on a number of issues and I need to accept myself for who I am. Love to all!
–Shades Of Life
So folks I am back with the Introvert series. Do give it a read. Hope you enjoy it.
- It frequently happens with introverts that our nights are for overthinking and mornings are for oversleeping.😏
- Me : Interacts with people and have to take a 4 hour nap to recharge myself.😑
- The number of times I think” I do not give a shit “while people are talking to me is really getting out of hand. 😂
- We introverts personally love to overanalyse everything and suffer. 🤔
- I laugh when people try to figure me out. I’m like dude, even I couldn’t do that till date. So how would you? 😐
I guess the struggles of introvert will continue throughout until people accept us as a part of the society, with just a behavioural difference.
–Shades Of Life