Pain💔

The thing about pain is it’s never beautiful. You find yourself wallowing in a puddle of bitterness. So, you don’t
repulse the next time you sip that sugarless coffee. Or when you drag that unfiltered hand-rolled cigar.
The unsavoury doesn’t concern
you anymore. Because it runs in
your veins like blood.

You don’t cry nostalgically for happiness, because you have never been to its place. You crinkle like a paper
in a fist and cry quietly, but not for yourself; for the blue sky, so breathtaking yet sad, like poetry.

You drink poison hoping to die, but instead, it finds an abode inside you. There’s a flower in your garden that bleeds green; it pricks you and your red turns everything into yellow. You turn to art, thinking, it’ll rescue you from your malady. And that’s when you realise; art isn’t going to heal your scars, it’ll just make them more presentable.

–ShadesofLife

Myself ❤️

When I was a little girl
I planed my perfect world
And lived in a palace in my dreams
Then heartbreak came along
And plans went completely wrong
Life’s just not as easy as it seems

But look at me now
I’m still dreaming
Still believing in myself
Look at me now, I’m still dreaming
Still believing in myself

Searching for someone
Who would be the one to fit
In the picture that I planned
The jigsaw puzzle piece
To make my dream complete was always sin in my head

But look at me now
I’m still dreaming
Still believing in myself
When I was a little girl
I planned my perfect world
And lived in a palace in my dreams

–ShadesofLife

Happy Birthday Mommy

I unturned the hourglass upside down
Sand descending back to the ground
And as the things undo themselves within
My bed sheets are back to uptight, spread fine
The pillow has dried up
As if it was never soaked from the tears
And my eyes
My eyes, no more look like a red dawn sun
As if mourning the death of a loved one
It’s normal again, like they deserve to be
The blood slowly dripping down my leg
Just took rewind, and is back in vein
The scars, the marks have disappeared
With a beautiful golden honey skin
There’s no more chaos in the room
Like it was some battlefield
Books are back in shelf, so clean it is
Like it just renewed itself

Time will heal
Things around
I knew it always

But the depth of my heart has will no more
To trust the time or its glory for that course
Rightly said you can never get over the pain of losing someone close to you, you somehow learn to live with it.

And for me, she was my whole life. Happiest birthday Mommy 🎂

–ShadesofLife

Are We Parallel Lines?

Craving for some fresh air can come anytime
And my sleep cycle is anyway messed up enough
Getting out of my house
Walking on the road, just drenched in the rain
It’s a good weather maybe
Maybe it’s the way of nature having her own breakdown
These maybes are killing me right now
The n number of possibilities running in my mind
In the Hustle bustle of my own
I hit the vacuum or maybe some whitespace of absolute nothingness
As I look down the road…
“Are we parallel lines?”
Meeting at no point?
Just like some railway track
But walking by each other’s sides
With the same passion and love
Now all of a sudden all I want is this road to merge
And this becomes my greatest urge
Cause for me it’s no more just roads or railway tracks
It’s You and I
It’s this fixed distance between us tearing me apart
I’m fighting in my head to merge or mold to make these roads concile in a single line
Seems like sleep is not the only thing I’m lacking today, its air too

Pretty glad about this soothing breeze
I was not really great at maths
But I remember coincident lines are parallel too
Just with all the points similar
Which again feels hard to attain
But I am not gonna get this single hope in vain
Or should I wait to meet at infinity?

–ShadesofLife

Human Emotions

A blindman who is walking with a stick, You know whichever direction you move his stick, he will begin to walk.

Because he has no sense of Direction.

It’s the same story with Human Emotions. Whichever direction you move the sentiments, it will get shifted.

No Wise Thinking.

Emotion is a Gift to Humanity, but if it has no direction it’s just a mere Feeling which gets Surfaced with whatever is shown to us.

If you show something in Good light all will say Good. You show something in Bad light all will say Bad. That is why it is easy to Influence Minds.

–ShadesofLife

People…

People are like stories.
Different kinds, different durations,
Different endings.

You think of some and smile.
You wish for some to always be with you.
You try to distance yourself from some.
And you try to keep some so close
that it blurs your vision.

Some feel real, others feel like a bubble blown by the sun at night.
Some hold your hand and make you feel alive,
others make you realize about
the part inside you that has
now been long dead.

You want to place the memory
of some in your wallet while
you regret meeting some.

Such is life!

Such are people!

–ShadesofLife

Explore Your Inner Self!

“Humankind has not woven the web of life.We are but one thread within it.Whatever we do to the web we do to ourselves.All things are bound together. All things connect.” – Chief Seattle

These times have made the interconnectedness of life more and more apparent. The thread of life that connects you, me and everyone else. Lets embrace this fabric ; out of which we all are created and its called life.

P.s when u cant go out(which u strictly should not)..go within. Take a deep dive in your inner self and evolve!

–ShadesofLife

Silent Thoughts

1:00 AM
Blinking hard, sitting in the lone corner of my room. The blank page in front of me is staring back at me, that too in a similar frowned gaze. I roll my pen up & down the desk against my calloused fingers. I close my eyes and try to focus.

1:30 AM
My shadow, is cast on the wall by the light from the lamp on my desk. It is a quiet night. My room is lit up by the luminance of the lamp, the dullness merges effortlessly with it. I’m still trying to think.

2:00 AM
My fingers are rolling in my hair, like curling them. The page is still glaring at me, seems as if it is curling its lips into a vicious smile, judging me— i can hear the clock ticking, louder than my thoughts.

2:30 AM
I’m thinking now. I guess I can now feel the pieces are coming together. The blank page in front of me; was it an indication that I’d finally leave behind a whole lot of past?

3:00 AM Sadness often pushes you to extents that pull out a particular art of misery and gloom from somewhere within, where there’s no light or air. Am I happy now? Maybe, a little. Sometimes it becomes too difficult to judge your own thoughts, this is life I guess. Hard, cruel, vulnerable and ruthless!

–ShadesofLife

There is Light Within You…

It’s so easy, especially right now, to be afraid — afraid of what tomorrow might bring, of what could go wrong, of all the things that may potentially fall apart. It’s so easy to hold onto the negative, to clutch it within your palm, unwilling to loosen your grip.⠀
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But please, don’t forget the light within you. Don’t forget the potential you have to reshape, to grow, to remold, and to change the world around you. It all starts with your perspective and a willingness to try. It all starts by saying, “Okay, I don’t have control over what’s happening, but I’m still going to love. I’m still going to show up. I’m still going to move forward.”⠀
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Life will undoubtedly give us road blocks and dead-ends, wrong turns and ‘go back four steps’ buttons. But your biggest weapons are your mind and heart. You have the power of what you focus on, the power of what you choose, and the power to begin again. ⠀
⠀
There is light within you.⠀
And it’s brighter than you think.⠀

–ShadesofLife
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In a Room Full of People…

I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.

The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.

–ShadesofLife

I Did Not Know…

I did not know
how to love myself
and love you
at the same time

I could either give it all
to you
Or all
to me.

If I split it down
the middle
we were both left
with too little.
And I have never
Been one
to disappoint.

The problem with
Being in love
Is that you have no clue
How to love somebody
Without replacing your entire
Self worth on them.

If they love you,
You love you.

If they leave,
Your self esteem
Goes with them.

–ShadesofLife

Photographs…

We collect memories like raindrops on the palm of our hand
My mother once told me that a moment lived in happiness is far more precious than anything else.
I guess that’s why she hated being photographed.
In my home you will see the walls are bare.
We don’t have frames lined up that show smiling faces and people laughing in a pretty background.
Maybe it’s cause my mom believed that a moment is not complete till you can capture its essence in its entirety and photographs fall short in telling the truth cause we would rather smile and hide the pain, lies and emptiness that is often reflected in our eyes.

After her demise, we had to try hard to find a photo of her’s
She’s not smiling in that
There is this half smile on her lips, but I wonder if I saw the stories in her eyes, stories that are laughing, crying, angry, stories that are alive and the stories that now have died with her.
I like taking pictures. I don’t know if I am scared of being forgotten or want to just be remembered as a story.
I wonder when people say that we stay alive in memories,
do they actually mean it or it’s just a lie to comfort ourselves.

–ShadesofLife

Funny Memory

Memory is a strange thing if you ask me. How many times I’ve entered a room and found myself staring at the wall, not knowing what I came there for.

They say that warning sirens ring just moment before we drown. But you see I’m like Titanic that took 180 minutes to drown. And I’ve been drowning for the past numerous days. Ask a lover and you’ll know that memory is a strange thing. And whenever I’ve tried to let you in it you’ve always clawed your way out and resisted to get back in.

It’s been days since I felt any kind of moisture in my eyes. They say when the heart becomes heavey our eyes let the pain out. But maybe that’s the problem I don’t wanna let it out, none of it. Maybe the pain is a part of loving you. And maybe that’s why no matter how far I go, I’ll always return to this feeling of your presence. Somewhere, deep in me where I’ll sit and let all the memories dissolve into me.

–ShadesofLife

March On!

Make your pain your motivation. Make your shame your life changing resolve.
The world is not fair and you may feel harassed, demotivated and let down. The more you feel demotivated, the more the cycle of depression will strengthen. Do not.

Do not feel demotivated. Remember your purpose. Understand your position. Chalk a change path that helps you reach back to shape, form and energy. March on till your detractors become your supporters. March on till your most vocal critics bet the next impossible on you. March on.

–ShadesofLife

Live like the Lotus!

“Live like the lotus, at ease in muddy water.”

Do you see how the lotus flower seems to be glowing within? The lotus only grows in muddy water. Do you see the lesson there? Let’s not let the muck in our lives suffocate us, let’s use it to grow and bloom and glow.

–ShadesofLife

Kuch Ankahi Baatein ❤

“Ishq kiya dil o jaan se bhi zada tumhe,
Nahi andaaza tha tum sirf dard ban k reh jaoge.

Krte na ye khata fir hum,
agar pta hota k tum is pyar ko kabhi smjh hi na paoge. ”

–ShadesofLife

Way back home

At times in life, you will feel that the journey itself is better than the destination. 

The journey is daunting and tiring. There is neither any pilot nor any driver. There is no map to bring you back home. There are no fellow travelers. The road is long and is of course not a smooth one. At times it may even happen that you don’t even know where you are or rather to put it straight where you wish to be.

Yet, you don’t lose hope and manage your way through it. You simply wish to reach home safely.

And when you are finally there, you know you’re safe. You are happy and at ease because you now know your soul has a place to rest. And that’s all that you’ll ever need.

–ShadesofLife

Every picture speaks #2

The expression on his face says it all. A perfect mix of desolation, devastation and a hope for a positive future. Old and withered body but the gleam of the eyes speaks a lot. A portrait that is really close to my heart.
–Shades Of Life

Every picture speaks #1

So guys, had this really important thing in mind since the past few days. Was working on it so couldn’t update regularly. Now I am back with a bang with an entirely new series of picture story series. As we all understand, every picture has its own message and here we would try to uncover those. Happy blogging!
This picture clearly depicts a complete circle of life. Just like this fallen dried leaf, as soon as a person’s journey on this earth is over, he also meets with the same end. Old age – dried and withered condition. An inevitable truth though!
–Shades Of Life