Often heard people consoling :
“Everything is fine” even when it’s not.
“Don’t overthink, just be happy” as if it’s just that easy.
“Don’t be sad” like that will help.
“Just stop thinking about it” like that will heal it.
“Always be happy” when it’s literally impossible to be always happy. We get sad sometimes & it’s completely natural.
“Don’t think about suicide, you’re a happy person.” like those thoughts are in our control.
“You shouldn’t be depressed, you have everything” like depression is a choice.
“Just chill” doesn’t work every time. When something bad happens that makes you sad or when you lose something/someone, not thinking about it or simply distracting from it is not the solution. Most people do this because they find the escape much easier than to feel those negative emotions.
But it is not a good practice. We may feel better in the moment but in the long run, it suppresses our emotions, develops anxiety and detaches us from our emotions and feelings. Isn’t it okay to be sad? I guess it is okay to feel any kind of negative emotions. Having the power to confront your own self is not a small thing.
You might feel your way is easier, that escaping and hiding your pain with a smile is better. Maybe you’ll even say that there are no side effects from it. But it’s not so. You don’t see them because you choose not to. But they are all inside you. It might be low self-esteem, inability to sustain healthy relationships, endless feeling of loneliness, or unreasonable anger. But it’s all there. Better vent out and let your emotions flow because no one can be positive at all times.
I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.
The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.
I have always loved the darkness of nights.
I am not a morning person.
I would instead lay on the roof, star gazing and playing a favourite piece of music than basking in the morning sun.
I love nights, for it restores numbed zones of feeling and recharges desire.
In all the magnanimity of thoughts, it makes me wonder how the roads are easily lost.
I love nights, for the endless conversations I have had with my loved ones and also for the heartwrenching sobs.
Along with the fading of night, I think of more such things as to how the clouds snatched his sun
Until next night.
In the day I walk alone, among the sea of people,
Holding close the solitude of my heart,
The same solitude that rescues me at night,
When each of these people leave one by one.
The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest. This is only because they do not wish to see anyone else suffering the way they did. Stop judging people.
Be grateful for what you have in life. Do not compare yourself with others. Your journey is yours and you have no idea what the other person has gone through.
Life is just like a beach, where every grain of sand is a small little moment. You are quite busy in searching for shells and oysters and you don’t realize that you have in turn converted it into a dump yard.
Slowly and gradually, that dump yard starts emitting expectations. Expectations from all those people who’ll be leaving you in the upcoming days or months; alone, on the edge of drowning into the water you were supposed to swim in.
But you know what, life is not this. It’s meeting people, talking to them and never meeting them again. I know it’s strange but that is how it is. Life is all about those small moments, the unexpected responses after your tale, the hugs and tears they give you, without even knowing your name.
Life is about a partner you share this loneliness with, for a day or for any random event. It’s about talking to them, when you know deep within that you won’t see them again, ever. Strangers can connect so much and gradually with every passing day become strangers, again.
It’s actually eye-opening, the way life is not just about those relations that are there for you. It’s also about being with some unknown and random people, building these bonds that don’t tangle and then simply leaving it there, with lots of memories.