Initially I used to wonder “Kyu Nahi ma, Saari duniya tere tarah.” This world is not much of a beautiful place as you think it is. You come to this world through one support and that’s your mother, who is your God, your creator, your lifeline. But what when your lifeline is no longer with you.
Well, since she has left life has changed drastically. My days don’t go well and my mind sometimes stays in a muddle. But you know what helps? I take out her picture, and put it aside me. I talk to her and it releases all the discomfort I face. At times I wonder what mothers are born with? A real magical power or a lap that has the purest love?
As children we always fail to understand your love but you are the only one who can love unconditionally. I guess, writers and philosophers still fail to describe mother’s love because you come in so many different shades. Wherever you are I wish you are in peace Mum. I miss you Amma is just a daily phrase now because no words can ever express how empty I feel without you.
Ending with just one line, “Kabhi ho Nahi sakti ma, Saari duniya teri tarah” .
I wonder if I’d have shouted my love for you from the rooftops, maybe the birds would have heard me, maybe they would’ve echoed it to the stars.
The stars would then share my love for you with the moon and the moon would undoubtedly pour my heart out to God. And maybe, maybe then in God’s voice you would have understood how much I love you. There aren’t enough letters in each alphabet of every language to explain how I feel about your existence. To explain how I feel about you.
It’s just an ordinary day. But I found myself thinking about you. I always think about you, you know. But it became more frequent today. Maybe because I miss you.
I think about those days where may be in a parallel universe, we might have met earlier. I would never have left and we’d be in the same city. In that parallel universe, everything would feel perfect. All our dreams would come true. All our doubts, gone. All our sorrows, erased. All of our anxieties, swept away.
But the present situation is that we are here, in this universe, where not everything is perfect. Things may not have happened the way we wanted to, but I am forever thankful that the universe conspired to make us meet. And although it has not been so kind as to make us stay together, I still know that you will forever be etched in my memories.
When it comes to feelings, you may believe certain feelings are bad and some good. Remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional and have a broad range of feelings, which truly have a purpose. Feelings ought to be expressed or else suppressed emotions at times manifest themselves in quite an improper manner.
If there was only happiness, it would eventually lose its luster over time. So it is important to experience sadness and unhappiness as well so as to truly appreciate the beauty of it all. Without being aware of the dark sadness we would not be able to appreciate the light of happiness.
Feelings too have a life cycle. They take birth, bloom, they peak and then die off. But that is how it is. The sooner you accept it, the better. Even in couples, after a disagreement, there will be resentment and anger which is not expressed. If the underlying feelings remain unexpressed, it generally leads to a disproportionate disconnect. All the unexpressed feelings will eventually explode.
It is important that we allow ourselves to fully engage with our feelings. Even if you feel sad, challenge yourself to stay compassionate which will help you to widen your emotional bandwidth and normalize feelings like sadness, despair or anger.
It is very important to embrace your feelings. Close your eyes and let your emotions consume you, cover you like a blanket, warm you from the inside out. After all, it’s absolutely okay to feel your feelings.
Generally it is not about the romantic way you meet someone. It’s basically about your compatibility, gestures and adoration. When it comes down to one thing to sustain love, it’s definitely choice. When you choose to love someone, it’s your decision. Every second, you put some effort to nurture that love and this gets us in trouble. I feel its wrong to say that love is something which happens to us. It’s something we make happen.
Love is an action, a pure choice, a commitment. The most beautiful thing about love is that you know that you are chosen by the person you chose. Love needs sacrifice and it won’t always be easy. But it is most beautiful when reciprocated. When you love someone you have something which is so profound. You have a home in that person, where you can be your own self, somewhere you can rest without being judged.
You will have some one who sees you truly and loves you forever. You don’t choose the one you will be attracted to, but you choose the one with whom you will stay in love with. Feelings are fleeting, it is a fickle thing. How you are feeling today will not resonate with the way you feel tomorrow. But real love is constant, it’s tangible. And when life becomes too unbearable, it’s love that gives us the strength. Feelings do not play any role here. When life throws us a curve ball, it’s in love where you will get the much-needed stability. You can’t just abandon love specially when its hard.
Love isn’t really a feeling, nor is it a state of euphoria. It’s hard work which needs constant compromise. Feelings can flicker, it can come and go. But real love? It stays and goes on forever!
“Ishq kiya dil o jaan se bhi zada tumhe,
Nahi andaaza tha tum sirf dard ban k reh jaoge.
Krte na ye khata fir hum,
agar pta hota k tum is pyar ko kabhi smjh hi na paoge. ”
Soul mates may be your relative, lover, friends or anyone who helps you become a better version of your own self. Twin flames on the other hand represent a love which is free from the shackles of human conditions. Your life is entirely different once you meet your twin flame. The moment your eyes first meet, you can start feeling life. This person touches unknown depths of your heart and soul and you form an instant connection. You are bound to meet your soulmate sooner or later in life but in the case of a twin flame, not many people meet them, although everyone has a twin flame.
Twin flame love is about everything except romance. You are built to evolve with each other and trigger the deep wounds that you didn’t know existed. At times you may feel that you’re losing your mind and your heart has unconditional love for your twin. Yet you know you can’t be together and this brings the greatest pain you’ve ever felt. At times, it may also happen that twin souls come together for a short span of time, only to part ways and say goodbye. When you are with your twin flame it’s not the traditional romantic love rather it’s the liberated, free love that exists when you don’t lay down any conditions on the other person. You gift your twin flame as well as yourself with freedom, as you do not curb the feelings for him/her and never doubt the true love that exists between the two of you.
You can easily relate it with the dance of fire when you feel attracted to each other’s light, but then your ego fears that it would get burnt, so you run away. Meeting your twin is not a cakewalk. There is no guarantee that you’ll ever be together. Basically it is something which is beyond understanding. Neither distance nor time can change the magnitude of your connection that you have with your twin flame.
Your twin flame loves you unconditionally. They sometimes return in your life to serve a purpose, to trigger the unconscious stuff that is already within you. When you try to suppress your feelings for your twin (which you can only for a short while after a hell lot of effort), you in other words cut yourself off from unconditional love. And that is the only reason why it never feels good. So, it is better to set everything aside, stop thinking about some things which are beyond control, relax and let the things flow at their own pace.
A twin flame is one who is your other self, a part of your soul. To read more about your twin soul, click here.
If you are still hesitant if you can ever forget your twin flame or you feel the answer differs from person to person, its not at all like that. There is one universal answer which is – NO, you cannot forget your twin flame. He/she is a part of you, and to be honest you never forget something that which has its existence in you.
No matter where you are, no matter what you may be doing, your twin flame is always there at the back of your mind. Its just like a numb pain which is with you all the time, stabbing you every second yet it makes you feel alive. You exist because of this pain. They may be far physically yet they exist in every breath you take, in every second that goes by. In your subconscious mind, they are present in everything you do and the best part is you never felt this way before. No person ever helped you experience this emotional high in spite of being miles apart and separated.
You may feel like they are close to you and communicating via some unknown telepathy signs. You can see their name at some places, every small thing about them would remind you of them, you would see parts of their phone numbers , their birthdays etc at different times and different places. No matter who they are with, twin flames can never forget each other. They may be with their life partner but that feeling would never be complete as a part of them would always be missing somewhere no matter how happy they try to be.
Finally, one day you will certainly feel happy that you loved him. Because it’s one in a lifetime kind of love, you loved like you never have loved before in your life and maybe you never will. And you will be thankful to your twin, that you lived such an amazing never ending love.
As far as I am concerned, I tried to forget him on every level but it was beyond my reach. I failed miserably and so I gradually learned to live with the truth of this connection. Now at times, whenever a synchronicity emerges, I smile, thank the universe for bringing him in my life.
So today while surfing the net, I came across a very interesting concept. Meeting your twin flame! Of course, for those who are not aware of it just like I was a few mins back, a Twin Flame is someone with whom you are always connected spiritually as you are parts of the same soul. Also called a mirror soul, he/she may be the person you connect with not just emotionally but even spiritually. God took one soul and split it into two. As a result, there are two individuals with the other half of a soul. When they meet each other on earth, an instant connection is bound to happen.
Let us now not confuse between soulmate and twin flame. A soulmate is one with whom you have a romantic relationship. It is not always the case with a twin flame. You can only have one Twin Flame ever. Everyone has a Twin Flame, it just depends on your destiny and lifelines when they choose to walk into your life.
In my case, I knew him instantly and I needed no reason why I felt as if he could see through my very soul. Twin Flame turns your whole life upside down. Invariably there is always a reason for everything, a reason you meet someone, a reason you fall in love, a love which is its own – one of a kind, one which you’ve never known before and probably which you never will again. When your twin flame leaves, it tears your heart apart and you feel the pain right in your very soul. You move on but deep within you know that you will never get over them and no matter what you will always love them unconditionally.
It goes without saying that nothing, I repeat Nothing can separate Twins as they are a gift from God. Your twin flame will always be with you without any beginning or end, always constant in your thoughts, in your mind, in your actions, in your life.
No person is with you forever physically. And to keep it clear, twin flames are not soulmates. So obviously they will not be physically present by your side forever. But twin flames can never be forgotten. They are always present in your thoughts. It’s okay to cry sometimes when you miss them but do not and I repeat DO NOT stay involved in the pain and remain “addicted” to it. You may not realise it but you don’t quite get over it as such, but the best way is to get on with it is to be the best version of your own self.
It is again the 1st of February. The most dreaded day of my life. The day I wish never shows up on the calendar. The day I want to be deleted forever! This was the very day I lost my mother, or I should say my life.
So, on a very precise note, 2190 days without you and it feels like an entire lifespan. So tough it was to believe that I will never be able to hug you, kiss you hear you; but eventually, I learned to live with this truth of my life. It hits hard at times trust me, not at all something I will able be able to cope with my entire life. But that is how it goes I guess. Somehow, with time you get the strength to cope with the loss.
Death indeed is the saddest reality of life. The one and the only thing which shivers me from inside. Today, after around 2190 days without you, I feel like your memories are my life’s only solace. Needless to say, how much I miss your presence, I would certainly not be exaggerating if I say your absence kills me from inside. 2190 days is a fairly long span of time. But I still feel if it’s just yesterday when the entire chain of events took the life out of me in just a few hours. My life was no longer worth living, it felt meaningless. No matter whatever I do to move away from this pain; my heart knows that it is a task which I will never be successful at. This void will never be filled and it is never-ending grief I will have to live with all throughout my life.
Deep down in my heart, I will always know that I can never hug you again. That feeling kills me each second. After I lost you, mourning has become a way of life for me. The beautiful memories we spent together make me smile; only till the time I realize you are no longer here. I miss you so so much, I wish I could ever do something for you, I wanted to take all your pain away. I wish I could do all that which made you happy. Time was never benevolent enough to give me a chance. Your death was a tough lesson to me that life is so uncertain. I wish destiny had this lesson conveyed to me in a different manner.
Today as I pen down my feelings, I realize why you always wished I was strong; because you knew that one day I would be needing the strength to bear your loss. I so wish to meet you to see you one last time. Things like these are very difficult to express in words. With the great amount of agony I have in me, my heart still remains empty without you. Your death came as a terrible black hole in my life which has engulfed each and every bit of my happiness. Loneliness, nostalgia and melancholy are my forever companions now. Your absence has made me lifeless. Wish I could really turn the tide of events and change the present.