What does a heartbreak sound like?
Your heart is sensitive,
Does it cry loud
When broken into pieces?
Does it experience
Multiple feelings at the same time?
Does it also feel empty and heavy
At some point of time?
Yes it does.
Is it less than a sign of a heartbreak?
Is it not what sad poetry sounds like?
Yet you ask me,
What does a heartbreak feel like so
Let me tell you,
Emotions run down your spine,
Making the time go slow,
The day and the night
Are of the same length,
Old days, old memories
Get on your nerves
Sticking to your heart and soul
Just like a permanent tattoo.
The hurricane of winds
Paves their way through the
Making your mind think
Of your mistakes.
It sounds like the dusty book
That is willing to get cleaned
It’s like the dew drops
Waiting for an aura of petrichor.
Neither does it cry aloud
Nor does it stay silent.
It tells you variety of poetries
By bleeding chronicles
Of agony and distress.
It narrates the story of those dried flowers
Of the spring that urge you
To water them with purity
So that they can bloom
In the garden of love.
It’s like those unfinished tales
Waiting to complete itself.
A broken heart just resembles
The dark sky with meteors
Wanting to shine bright again
And shower the rains of happiness
Again in your life.
It feels that the sun has sunk
Forever leaving our soul in
The pool of darkness all alone.
Let me tell you,
It sounds like the heart is
Lifeless and is craving
For its life again.
Ask those who have experienced
A heartbreak by trusting others,
By putting their heart and soul on stake
They are still trying to get out of the formidable hurdles,
Candles of love and hope
Light in their heart
They’re just bearing the pain
Without uttering a single word.
The thing about pain is it’s never beautiful. You find yourself wallowing in a puddle of bitterness. So, you don’t
repulse the next time you sip that sugarless coffee. Or when you drag that unfiltered hand-rolled cigar.
The unsavoury doesn’t concern
you anymore. Because it runs in
your veins like blood.
You don’t cry nostalgically for happiness, because you have never been to its place. You crinkle like a paper
in a fist and cry quietly, but not for yourself; for the blue sky, so breathtaking yet sad, like poetry.
You drink poison hoping to die, but instead, it finds an abode inside you. There’s a flower in your garden that bleeds green; it pricks you and your red turns everything into yellow. You turn to art, thinking, it’ll rescue you from your malady. And that’s when you realise; art isn’t going to heal your scars, it’ll just make them more presentable.
Love is an intense feeling. You can not stop loving someone, just because you cannot be together or because they left. Love isn’t a promise nor an agreement, it doesn’t come with a warranty card or an enquiry desk.
Loving someone is like two edged knife, it’s pain disguised as pleasure and the other way around. Some people will come into your life to tear you apart and some will put you back together way too beautifully. One day you’re gonna wake up next to your loved one and you’ll know that they’ll be there even if you close your eyes. It’ll all make sense then. Wait for it.
You’ll never know when is the last time someone walks in or walks out. So have faith in your love and breathe.
I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.
The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.
Feel the feelings,
The ones you can’t explain,
The ones where you know what you know,
But you don’t know why or how.
Feelings that have no words.
The ones not found in any dictionary and any language.
The ones that often whisper lies to you.
The ones impossible to ignore.
You look at her just as I want you to look at me. It stings right there where you live, I think you know your permanent place by now, my heart; yes it stings right there. It penetrates venom inside me.
But for the sake of my dying heart, I feed myself on the anecdote of lies, that you are looking for ME in HER….
When you worry more for someone else and less for yourself,
When someone is always in your mind and your prayers,
When someones’ tears cause immense pain in your heart,
When you smile seeing them happy ,
When their struggles tire you and their pain tears you in two,
This is the point when you realize you are in love. ❤
It is exhausting having a heart that melts for those who show even the smallest amount of love. It is exhausting trying to break stone walls when your own soul craves to be held firmly. It is exhausting putting your heart on the sleeve as it is not already torn by those who came before and left.
It is exhausting trying to heal others wounds when you are the one who has been hurt more than words can fanthom. And it is seriously very exhausting feeling all this so deeply when all you wish for is to shut all the open tabs in your mind for some time. It is exhausting when these thoughts pour in your head when all you want is a little solace from the excruciating pain.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that changed them. Everyone has a secret they haven’t shared; a past no one’s heard about; talents people don’t notice; weakness hidden inside; a story left untold, so never start judging someone thinking you know them back to front. Because the truth is, you probably don’t.
Life would be a lot more easier if you stop being judgemental. But the brain does not understand the concept of not judging. It sees something and reaches to a conclusion because that is how it works. The brain will judge the person with all the stereotypes that may exist in the minds of the judger. And that is the danger of judging a book by its cover. What you see may not be what you get.
As is rightly said “ Things are not as they seem.’’
Those pigeons carrying your letters, I have never let them in. I saw them flapping their wings against my windows but I pulled down the shutters and closed the curtains, oblivious to the conditions outside. They were there all night and I found them sprawled on my doorstep the next morning, your letters still held between their beaks. I burned them all down and watched the wind take away their ashes with it.
When I am all by myself, I am sometimes reminded of your bubbling laughter which sounded like the waves breaking against the rocks ashore. I saw the withered roses which were pressed in between the pages of my favorite novel, your name on every one of them and that made me long for you endlessly.
But then I realized it again. Falling for you was like walking on the quagmire, the more I tried to escape, the more I sank into its depths. I’d seen the end the day itself when our eyes had met; two broken hearts which were too shattered to fall in love again and four eyes that were in search of someone who’ll never be with them forever. Ever since I have learned to drive, pain has taken a permanent place on the passenger seat of my car. And I always knew there was nothing but despair, longing and heartbreak at the end of this road.
This is everything that I never said to you when I could. But I promise, every night when I close my eyes, there will always be a prayer on my lips:
May you read it and know it is for you. I hope you know it’s always been just you.
One-sided love is one of the worst things that can happen. After confessing your feelings and getting a negative response from the other side, is it possible to stay as friends? Still being friends is a statement that destroys you over and over again. The question is can you still stay as friends after you have loved someone immensely?
He said we can still be friends but what I don’t understand is how can I look at him when someone else is holding his hand? I can hear my own heart sting with pain shattering into a million pieces so loudly that it deafens me, then how can I look at him when he is walking hand in hand with someone else. How can we still be friends when I have to hide my tears when he talks of her?
I guess he meant we can stay as strangers with distant memories that we don’t remember unless we see them in old pictures. But the fact is we simply can’t be friends when your voice hurts me and it reminds me of all those times we spent together. How can you look at someone you love while that person loves somebody else? Friends don’t look at each other wishing they were something more.
The synopsis seemed good,
the cover too looked nice,
you opened the book
and began a new life.
You found yourself a new home,
you met some new friends,
you continued reading,
hoping it would never end.
You flipped through the pages,
you read out loud the words
you felt their joy,
their pain and hurt.
The pages cut your fingers,
and the words cut your heart,
Felt as if the author had a knife,
and was tearing your soul apart.
You laughed with the characters,
with them, you cried,
you lived with them, too
And with them, you died.
Each of us has a reason to live. May be a special someone, a child, a career, a passion or anything else. It is the thing which kindles the fire in your soul, and without it, you have no idea what to do with yourself. But at times, it happens that you actually lose the thing that kept you going and everything seems to fall apart. The excitement and the eagerness is all gone. The pain makes you feel meaningless when you lose your reason to live.
In such a situation, you need to redefine your reasons for living. Remember that life is always moving forward and changing. You will have to change too. The time will come when you will have to move on as well. If you have lost someone/something which was incredibly important to you, you have based your reason to live on this thing and you may now feel trapped when this thing has been taken from you. But it is not true. Your reason to live depends on you. You are truly dynamic and you have the power to assign someone the meaning and purpose of your life.
You do not need to change the world. All you need to do is simply change your perspective. Truly said “The most tragic moments in our life are the ones that define us the most.” Life is good but it isn’t always fair. There are good times and bad. But when things get tough, seize control of your life and find a reason to keep living. Find a reason to keep going!
A smiling face does not always mean that a person is happy. Smile is something that can hide anything going on in a person’s mind. But it can hide the pain to a certain limit.
When I was going through this painful phase where I lost my mom, I was totally a different person. I would sit on park benches for hours pushing back tears, fighting to stay upright, and always seconds away from being a total freak out. Anyone passing by me, looked deeply into my bloodshot eyes or sometimes noticed the occasional break in my voice and simply would ask me what’s wrong. Frankly speaking, at that point of time I was so lost and frustrated that I simply wanted to wear a sign that said: I LOST MY MOM. PLEASE GO EASY.
When things go wrong with you, you are actually the one who has to face everything. No one can ever understand an inch of your pain that you are going through, no one has any idea of the gaping sinkhole that has just opened up and swallowed the normal life of yours.
Life is a battle and we are all warriors. Everyone around you is experiencing the collateral damage of living, in one way or the other. They are all grieving someone, fighting their own battle, missing someone and are worried about someone. Every single human being you pass by is fighting to find peace, to get through their daily tasks without breaking down. Pain-ravaged people are everywhere and we are quite oblivious to them. But no one wears the sign – I AM STRUGGLING, SO BE NICE TO ME. And since they don’t, it’s up to you and me to look more closely and be more considerate towards them. Because most people are hanging by a thread and our simple kindness can be that thread.
No matter how hard the hidden stories around us might be, if you look with the right eyes, you’ll see the signs. Be considerate, be loving because all happy faces aren’t happy.
The heart wants what it wants. Sometimes there is no logic to these things. You meet someone all of a sudden and you fall in love. The heart has its reasons that reason knows not. The heart has a different language, one which the mind does not comprehend.
The emotions such as love are not under the conscious and cognitive control of the heart. Is it true that the heart wants what it wants? It is indeed true as some emotions are not under our control. You cannot simply start unloving someone no matter how hard the situation may be. Love and attraction always have an upper hand over logic. It is not always the case that you should listen to your heart, rather you should bring your head into the equation as well.
Think not just about what the heart wants but also pay heed to what the heart is trying to avoid. At times, when you want to be close to your favorite person, but you can’t be, you may feel very painful as if totally unable to bear the pain. But the truth is, the anticipation of how bad you may feel, is worse than your actual feeling. The heart wants what it wants but it is better to use your head in order to make better decisions.
With love comes the fear of loss. The undeniable fear of losing your loved one. Just the thought of not having them by your side one day hangs heavy like a grey cloud above your head. The thought that certain events may unfold which will lead to parting ways causes an immense pain inside you just like a burning sensation.
With Love comes vulnerability, trust, loyalty and the possibility that these things mean taking pieces from your soul and giving it over to the person you love. With love you become aware of the fact that losing them will eventually cause you relentless pain. You know that if they leave you, a huge part of you, will leave your side too.
But at the same time, with loving someone comes smiles, laughs and happy tears which you will remember for lifetime. You feel an incredible peace, a peace, that you know you will never be able to find again. With loving someone comes serenity, contentment, understanding and a friendship which will never leave you feeling cold. No matter how far you go, you know you will never forget those days.
With love comes fear, sure but it is also accompanied by a fearlessness that you didn’t know you could summon. There comes a happiness which stays, and believe me when I say that, because it does stay!
I frankly don’t have a clue what I am going to write about but the past few days have been quite strange for me. I mean I am fine and there is not much happening in my life but there is this heaviness I feel whenever I breathe. I feel like my mind is occupied with nothing yet everything. Somewhere I wish I had some sort of consistency in life. It is simply like as soon as I am happy something bad happens. Or you know, even when it doesn’t my mood just drops down and on a serious note I am tired. I don’t know whether this is just a phase or it will last forever.
In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that there is no forever, but there is. Forever has to be an infinite number but at times forever is as small as a kiss, as small as those gusts of wind rippling your hair, as small as the ocean waves hitting the shore. The moments you never wanted to end but it ended nevertheless. I don’t know if this phase is a short forever or a long one. Some days I am all good, doing my bit, happy, joyous and lively. But on the other days, I am on my bed, too numb to even write. These are those moments when I feel the sound of the clock ticking or the switched on lights, even these become too much to take. When I feel helpless and energy-less to even get out of bed is when I sink deeper and deeper. These moments make me question my existence and I fail to understand my own self.
You know that feeling when you get to read your favorite book but it is in some other language which you can’t comprehend and all you want to do is simply tear off the pages. These are my feelings. These emotions are mine and I simply do not know how to understand it all. All that I want is to end all of this. But this is how life is, the unhappiness, the pain, the resentment, the anger is all there! May be I will be better tomorrow, may be not! This is quite sudden and time taking but I hope all goes well in the end. Either there is a hopeless end or an endless hope!
Love is not synonymous with pain and the day you realise this will be the day you accept the person who treats you right! It will be the day you let real love in, one which brings butterflies in your stomach and gives you a heart pump the moment you catch a glimpse of them. It is a love which comes in smiles and laughs and causes an ache in your stomach when you both are together. It is a love which makes you the best version of you, which believes in you when you stop believing in yourself. A love that smiles at you even when life is tough and tells you that “it will all be fine because I have faith in you.”
Love is beautiful when felt for the right person. There is a place in my heart where a part of you will always be a part of me. This is love and when you realise love is not painful, that day you will welcome it in its entirety.
To be honest, I have never sat down and thought about the importance of trusting myself. I never knew how important it was to believe in the process of trusting my own self. When it comes to trust, I always put my attention on trusting others, I never thought of any internal process.
But just when I bought this concept internally to my own self, I found the answers to all my questions. The truth was that I had no trust on myself and never really felt that way. I was also not aware of the toll it was taking on my life. I began to note the side effects of not trusting myself – confusion, stress, anxiety and mood swings. These are some factors that need to be lessened in life so I knew I had to work upon trusting myself.
From the outside, I always felt that I never trusted people but the truth was that I didn’t trust myself. I felt I was too genuine to be good enough, too genuine to be loved and I felt I would be okay even if I messed up. I doubted myself, my possibilities, my worth and most importantly my confidence in my own depths. This was the reason I found myself swinging in numbness and pain.
It is true that things go wrong when you trust yourself more but it is also true that things go wrong and stay wrong when you trust yourself less than you should. Trust yourself and listen to your heart. No matter what the case be, remember you always get to choose what you want to do next!
Recently I watched this movie Before We Go and I loved it indeed. Outstanding performance of Alice Eve and Chris Evans witnessing a number of adventures together. Not only did they came close in the process but also got to know a number of things about themselves which helped them make some life changing decisions.
Here are a few power-packed lines from the movie which I genuinely loved-
Nick – “God. Why is it that any one decision always seems too small to be the biggest decision of your life.”
Brooke – “I don’t know but sometimes you have to just make the choice and jump.”
“This is no perfect. There will always be struggle. You just need to choose who you wanna struggle with.”
Brooke – “It’s possible, isn’t it? It’s possible that you could meet somebody who’s perfect for you even though you’re committed to somebody else.”
Nick – “No, no, see, I think if you’re committed to somebody, you don’t allow yourself to find perfection in someone else.”
Nick – “And at the end of the night, you’re gonna want to say some things, but don’t. Don’t ruin it. It’s nothing she doesn’t already know. Just give her a kiss. Wish her good luck. And, uh… thank her. Thank her for showing you that you can love more than one person in this life.”
Is it true that time is the best healer? If it is so, how long does it take to heal our wounds; two months, one year, two years, five years? Is time alone enough for our grief to subside? I don’t think so and here is the reason why.
When I lost my mother, it was difficult to keep myself “under control,” and so I kept myself frantically busy. I would devote all my time to work and exhaust myself until late at night and spend hours doing whatever I could to distract myself from acknowledging what I already knew in order to run away from my grief. But I could never understand that one of the biggest myths about pain and grief is that Time is the best healer which is never true. Time does not heal anything, the pain remains there always, you eventually somehow get used to it and start living with the pain.
Personally, I don’t think time heals at all. Time may make things seem less important than they once were. With enough time, we experience more and more of life’s ups and downs, and that serves to give us more perspective. I think it would be better to say that Time makes us numb, or that Time lets us forget.
The pain is always there, buried deep inside which undergoes a metamorphosis into bitterness or stays just like some hardness and makes us a little more cynical.
When it comes to feelings, you may believe certain feelings are bad and some good. Remember that there are no good or bad feelings. We are emotional and have a broad range of feelings, which truly have a purpose. Feelings ought to be expressed or else suppressed emotions at times manifest themselves in quite an improper manner.
If there was only happiness, it would eventually lose its luster over time. So it is important to experience sadness and unhappiness as well so as to truly appreciate the beauty of it all. Without being aware of the dark sadness we would not be able to appreciate the light of happiness.
Feelings too have a life cycle. They take birth, bloom, they peak and then die off. But that is how it is. The sooner you accept it, the better. Even in couples, after a disagreement, there will be resentment and anger which is not expressed. If the underlying feelings remain unexpressed, it generally leads to a disproportionate disconnect. All the unexpressed feelings will eventually explode.
It is important that we allow ourselves to fully engage with our feelings. Even if you feel sad, challenge yourself to stay compassionate which will help you to widen your emotional bandwidth and normalize feelings like sadness, despair or anger.
It is very important to embrace your feelings. Close your eyes and let your emotions consume you, cover you like a blanket, warm you from the inside out. After all, it’s absolutely okay to feel your feelings.
Generally it is not about the romantic way you meet someone. It’s basically about your compatibility, gestures and adoration. When it comes down to one thing to sustain love, it’s definitely choice. When you choose to love someone, it’s your decision. Every second, you put some effort to nurture that love and this gets us in trouble. I feel its wrong to say that love is something which happens to us. It’s something we make happen.
Love is an action, a pure choice, a commitment. The most beautiful thing about love is that you know that you are chosen by the person you chose. Love needs sacrifice and it won’t always be easy. But it is most beautiful when reciprocated. When you love someone you have something which is so profound. You have a home in that person, where you can be your own self, somewhere you can rest without being judged.
You will have some one who sees you truly and loves you forever. You don’t choose the one you will be attracted to, but you choose the one with whom you will stay in love with. Feelings are fleeting, it is a fickle thing. How you are feeling today will not resonate with the way you feel tomorrow. But real love is constant, it’s tangible. And when life becomes too unbearable, it’s love that gives us the strength. Feelings do not play any role here. When life throws us a curve ball, it’s in love where you will get the much-needed stability. You can’t just abandon love specially when its hard.
Love isn’t really a feeling, nor is it a state of euphoria. It’s hard work which needs constant compromise. Feelings can flicker, it can come and go. But real love? It stays and goes on forever!
Sometimes letting go is necessary. It may not be easy but letting it go on can be much more painful. Destiny cannot be changed and you cannot really bluff what is written in your fate. But in the end, what you need to remember is that there is a difference between being loved and being valued. Many may love you but it is important to know who values you.
This process is quite heavy and needs a lot of willingness. Goodbyes are always hard but at times it is necessary. When you let go, you let go of your past, meaning some part of you, you let go your expectations, your existence, in other words. And trust me, it is a horrific process.
I once read somewhere ” The only meaning that anything has is the meaning you give it, ” and trust me it makes a lot of sense. Fear is the house for all negative emotions. If you were not afraid of letting go, you would have done it already. I know it is not that simple as it appears to be but you are the sailor of your life’s ship and you need to decide what is the best for you.
“Ishq kiya dil o jaan se bhi zada tumhe,
Nahi andaaza tha tum sirf dard ban k reh jaoge.
Krte na ye khata fir hum,
agar pta hota k tum is pyar ko kabhi smjh hi na paoge. ”
Soul mates may be your relative, lover, friends or anyone who helps you become a better version of your own self. Twin flames on the other hand represent a love which is free from the shackles of human conditions. Your life is entirely different once you meet your twin flame. The moment your eyes first meet, you can start feeling life. This person touches unknown depths of your heart and soul and you form an instant connection. You are bound to meet your soulmate sooner or later in life but in the case of a twin flame, not many people meet them, although everyone has a twin flame.
Twin flame love is about everything except romance. You are built to evolve with each other and trigger the deep wounds that you didn’t know existed. At times you may feel that you’re losing your mind and your heart has unconditional love for your twin. Yet you know you can’t be together and this brings the greatest pain you’ve ever felt. At times, it may also happen that twin souls come together for a short span of time, only to part ways and say goodbye. When you are with your twin flame it’s not the traditional romantic love rather it’s the liberated, free love that exists when you don’t lay down any conditions on the other person. You gift your twin flame as well as yourself with freedom, as you do not curb the feelings for him/her and never doubt the true love that exists between the two of you.
You can easily relate it with the dance of fire when you feel attracted to each other’s light, but then your ego fears that it would get burnt, so you run away. Meeting your twin is not a cakewalk. There is no guarantee that you’ll ever be together. Basically it is something which is beyond understanding. Neither distance nor time can change the magnitude of your connection that you have with your twin flame.
Your twin flame loves you unconditionally. They sometimes return in your life to serve a purpose, to trigger the unconscious stuff that is already within you. When you try to suppress your feelings for your twin (which you can only for a short while after a hell lot of effort), you in other words cut yourself off from unconditional love. And that is the only reason why it never feels good. So, it is better to set everything aside, stop thinking about some things which are beyond control, relax and let the things flow at their own pace.
A twin flame is one who is your other self, a part of your soul. To read more about your twin soul, click here.
If you are still hesitant if you can ever forget your twin flame or you feel the answer differs from person to person, its not at all like that. There is one universal answer which is – NO, you cannot forget your twin flame. He/she is a part of you, and to be honest you never forget something that which has its existence in you.
No matter where you are, no matter what you may be doing, your twin flame is always there at the back of your mind. Its just like a numb pain which is with you all the time, stabbing you every second yet it makes you feel alive. You exist because of this pain. They may be far physically yet they exist in every breath you take, in every second that goes by. In your subconscious mind, they are present in everything you do and the best part is you never felt this way before. No person ever helped you experience this emotional high in spite of being miles apart and separated.
You may feel like they are close to you and communicating via some unknown telepathy signs. You can see their name at some places, every small thing about them would remind you of them, you would see parts of their phone numbers , their birthdays etc at different times and different places. No matter who they are with, twin flames can never forget each other. They may be with their life partner but that feeling would never be complete as a part of them would always be missing somewhere no matter how happy they try to be.
Finally, one day you will certainly feel happy that you loved him. Because it’s one in a lifetime kind of love, you loved like you never have loved before in your life and maybe you never will. And you will be thankful to your twin, that you lived such an amazing never ending love.
As far as I am concerned, I tried to forget him on every level but it was beyond my reach. I failed miserably and so I gradually learned to live with the truth of this connection. Now at times, whenever a synchronicity emerges, I smile, thank the universe for bringing him in my life.
So today while surfing the net, I came across a very interesting concept. Meeting your twin flame! Of course, for those who are not aware of it just like I was a few mins back, a Twin Flame is someone with whom you are always connected spiritually as you are parts of the same soul. Also called a mirror soul, he/she may be the person you connect with not just emotionally but even spiritually. God took one soul and split it into two. As a result, there are two individuals with the other half of a soul. When they meet each other on earth, an instant connection is bound to happen.
Let us now not confuse between soulmate and twin flame. A soulmate is one with whom you have a romantic relationship. It is not always the case with a twin flame. You can only have one Twin Flame ever. Everyone has a Twin Flame, it just depends on your destiny and lifelines when they choose to walk into your life.
In my case, I knew him instantly and I needed no reason why I felt as if he could see through my very soul. Twin Flame turns your whole life upside down. Invariably there is always a reason for everything, a reason you meet someone, a reason you fall in love, a love which is its own – one of a kind, one which you’ve never known before and probably which you never will again. When your twin flame leaves, it tears your heart apart and you feel the pain right in your very soul. You move on but deep within you know that you will never get over them and no matter what you will always love them unconditionally.
It goes without saying that nothing, I repeat Nothing can separate Twins as they are a gift from God. Your twin flame will always be with you without any beginning or end, always constant in your thoughts, in your mind, in your actions, in your life.
No person is with you forever physically. And to keep it clear, twin flames are not soulmates. So obviously they will not be physically present by your side forever. But twin flames can never be forgotten. They are always present in your thoughts. It’s okay to cry sometimes when you miss them but do not and I repeat DO NOT stay involved in the pain and remain “addicted” to it. You may not realise it but you don’t quite get over it as such, but the best way is to get on with it is to be the best version of your own self.