Most people are either living in the past or living in the future, but never in the present moment; and there’s nothing wrong with spending time in a place that once existed or a place that hasn’t been created, but don’t miss the present moment. Because living in the past stops you from moving forward, and living in the future stops you from living in the moment. Aristotle once said, young men talk about the future because they have no past; but old men talk about the past because they have no future.
The past and the future are a gift, but what can turn them into a burden is the way we perceive them, how long we remain in them, and how we spend our time with them. My invitation to you..is to visit the past, visit the future, but live the present moment.
There is a story about a person who went to a Zen master and requested him to teach him Zen. The master started pouring tea for his guest. Soon, the teacup was full, but he continued to pour. It started overflowing.
The person told him, “Please stop pouring, don’t you see the cup is full?” The master smiled and said, “You are like the cup. You are already too full. You have to empty your cup before I can teach you Zen.”
Sometimes you have to unlearn what you have learned to see the opportunity in a new light. So it is in the world of business. Business leaders and managers call such an approach by many names — ‘Zero-based budgeting’, where you don’t let the past dictate how to plan for the future; ‘Re-engineering’, where you fundamentally rethink and radically redesign the processes.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that changed them. Everyone has a secret they haven’t shared; a past no one’s heard about; talents people don’t notice; weakness hidden inside; a story left untold, so never start judging someone thinking you know them back to front. Because the truth is, you probably don’t.
Life would be a lot more easier if you stop being judgemental. But the brain does not understand the concept of not judging. It sees something and reaches to a conclusion because that is how it works. The brain will judge the person with all the stereotypes that may exist in the minds of the judger. And that is the danger of judging a book by its cover. What you see may not be what you get.
As is rightly said “ Things are not as they seem.’’
Frankly speaking, there are no rules in life. You can trust what you want to and easily change those beliefs when you wish. You are not defined by your past and you can change it when you want! It is most important to follow what makes you happy. Even in relationships, there is no need to feel miserable. You cannot be with someone for life and it needs a strong conviction. It is tough to believe that you will probably never hear from this person again and unfulfilled love is indeed soul-crushing. But not everything is meant to go your way. Many people are not destined to be together and you simply cannot deny that fact.
These days I’ve been so much more at peace with myself, I am happy where I’m at and I believe it’s better to let things move forward in their own direction. You can’t simply force things on others. A lot of people, I had issues with, are no longer there in my life. Many new people have come in and are strong pillars of support. I am allowing both, the opportunities and the people who are meant for me to come my way and to let go all that what isn’t. I’ve learned to recognize when I’m being negative towards myself and how to raise myself up instead and turn things around.
Your insecurities are with you always. They are loud. As much as you try to hide them, they come out of their hiding places. Insecurities are a part of us. Parts of our bodies, our personalities and our past.
But remember, your flaws are a part of you. Your mistakes are what makes you human as no one is perfect. Even the most charming faces hide horrific secrets. It is absolutely okay if you do not fit in. Not everyone is supposed to. But it is not okay to demean you. Stop highlighting your flaws and be soft to yourself. Forgive yourself for all the self-loath, the hateful and pretentious remarks and every night you spent wishing that you were someone else. Your worth isn’t measured by the way you look and your fears. You are enough. In fact a thousand times enough!
Have you ever observed a river closely? The river flows quite strongly and at that time you cannot see the riverbed clearly. In such a situation if there was some way you could stop the flow in both the directions, ie from where the water is coming and to where the water is flowing, then may be you could keep the water still. This would help you see the base of the river quite clearly.
Similar is the case with our minds. All you need to do is stop your mind from chasing sensory objects as well as thinking of the past and future and that is specifically the time when you can completely free your mind from being totally ‘blanked out’. It is this time that you will have a clear view underneath this turbulence of the thought processes. There is an underlying stillness as well as an underlying clarity of the mind. It is essential that you observe or experience something like this.
Understand that you have a choice – Whenever you feel that your past is haunting you, generally it is owing to some intrusive thoughts. These intrusions can be regret, anger, hatred or sadness. Negative thoughts make us cling to past memories simply to weaken us.
Know the reason for holding on – Sticking to your past can actually be good. If someone did you wrong, it is genuine to hate them but in reality we would be the ones suffering. We cling to the past because we find comfort in something which is familiar. If you are happy to hold on it is only because it is consistent. Realize that you have a beautiful life waiting for you.
Focus on the present – It is important to know your existence, pause and look around you. You can use this strategy at all times, when ever you feel like your thoughts are overpowering you.
Free yourself from all the reminders – Anything which forces you to think of your past needs to go. Do not keep these reminders. Study your space and make a wise decision.
Opt for something productive – It is essential that you take some negative feeling and then convert it into some positive action. In case you feel angry, it is essential that you channel that energy into somewhere productive. If you are feeling sad, lift someone else up. No matter what it is important to keep moving!