Posted in Shades of Life

As You Like It!

Take your time to rest. The world has put too much on your plate. You don’t have to eat everything. Remember what you don’t like. Remember what hurts your stomach. Remember what you are allergic to. Remember what isn’t good for your heart. Hold this knowledge close, think, reflect, savour and choose to let go when your heart is full.

Be silent for your own sake. You have already taken responsibility for too many wars. Your skin is chipping away to someone else’s ruin. Save it for the rest of your world.

The world has put too much on your plate, you don’t have to deal with it all at once.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Are We Parallel Lines?

Craving for some fresh air can come anytime
And my sleep cycle is anyway messed up enough
Getting out of my house
Walking on the road, just drenched in the rain
It’s a good weather maybe
Maybe it’s the way of nature having her own breakdown
These maybes are killing me right now
The n number of possibilities running in my mind
In the Hustle bustle of my own
I hit the vacuum or maybe some whitespace of absolute nothingness
As I look down the road…
“Are we parallel lines?”
Meeting at no point?
Just like some railway track
But walking by each other’s sides
With the same passion and love
Now all of a sudden all I want is this road to merge
And this becomes my greatest urge
Cause for me it’s no more just roads or railway tracks
It’s You and I
It’s this fixed distance between us tearing me apart
I’m fighting in my head to merge or mold to make these roads concile in a single line
Seems like sleep is not the only thing I’m lacking today, its air too

Pretty glad about this soothing breeze
I was not really great at maths
But I remember coincident lines are parallel too
Just with all the points similar
Which again feels hard to attain
But I am not gonna get this single hope in vain
Or should I wait to meet at infinity?

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Whom Are You Running From?


I brushed my teeth
twice
before I realised;
it was impossible to
get rid of the
taste of guilt.

I gulped down
two
glasses of water
before I realised;
you cannot wash
down regret.

I tried to breathe
inhale
hold
exhale
repeat
before I realised;
I was the one
burning.

I had a white toast
to calm my
churning stomach
before I realised;
you can only watch storms.
Watch as they ruin
homes, and lives, and everything.
everything they touch.

I shut my ears
listened to music
before I realised;
the thunder of my thoughts
was louder than
all the songs merged into one.

I tried to close my eyes
and escape,
before I realised;
you can’t escape
from each and everything.

There are some situations where you have to accept the truth. Whom do you run to
when you’re running
from yourself?

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

Dark & Flawless

Today, I learnt an important lesson from my therapist. ⁣
At the end of our hour, she told me that although I’ve been hurt and broken badly, she can see I still have parts that aren’t shattered. ⁣
I laughed lightly and I said ‘Yeah, one day that will be all of me, no parts shattered anymore”, And she said ‘No, it won‘t.”⁣
And, for a second, I felt my heart break but she continued. “But it will be the most dominant part of you. Think of your body if you break your shoulder, even after it heals it will be tender. It will be a sore spot. You will be careful with it. There will be a gentleness when you care for it. If you crack a rib, laughing will hurt and, even after there is no longer a fracture, you may laugh lighterjust in case. You can heal, but it is okay to be aware of the parts of you that once hurt the most. The most important thing to know is that where there is tenderness, let there be gentleness.” ⁣

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Dark

While I was standing alone in the darkness, this lightened lamp caught my attention. I could see my faint shadow painted on a wall by the light of this lamp. As the stormy winds were playing with the flame, my shadow was trembling too.

I watched the little lamp fight with the darkness, betraying the strength of its own and also the depth of the darkness. The blowing breeze tilted the triumph towards darkness, and from the struggle of the shivering flame, I could see that the lamp would die any time soon. But surprisingly, the flame got its balance back. Perhaps it was the magic of firm determination of not giving up, and now the lamp stood still against the dark in this “looking impossible to win” battle. I was astonished by the toil, the little lamp had gone through without a dwindle and I surely was impressed with the arrogant behaviour the lamp showed towards the uncanny dark. But now I think, what choice did the lamp have?

Isn’t life like this sometimes? It drags us into the battle we don’t want to fight and leaves us no choice. We can’t run away no matter how tired we are because of this war. You don’t see victory near, but that can’t be the reason you give up. The only escape way, is through.

But does the battle make us stronger in the end? I don’t know. Perhaps, I’m still in between the war. But you remember the lamp, it shone the brightest when the darkness was at its peak.

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

New Normal? Nope!

The pandemic begins suddenly, violently, recklessly. No one knows what to do. The world goes silent. Not everyone one knows how to deal with isolation. Grief knocks at doors and loneliness welcomes us home. Life comes to standstill and breathing feels heavy.

They say its the beginning of the end. They never taught us how to deal with endings. How do you mourn the dead you never met. What to do with all these funerals you could never attend . 
Helplessness looms on heads and shops run out of masks.
There’s no justice for displaced. How do you stay at home when there’s no home? Too many questions lie unanswered.

Suffering doesn’t seem to end. The funny part is no one knew how badly they want to exist until a virus strain strikes. 
Everyone’s tired of wondering if a vaccine or practicing religion can save them. Will an antibacterial soap wash the blood of everyone they killed on their hands ? Will they someday understand how to stop mourning each morning?

The word positive seems deadlier than ever before. For once in life, everyone wants to be positive that theyare negative. Tough times. Hopeless cases of desperation. 
How do you pray when you don’t know what to pray for?
How do you believe when your beliefs could kill you!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Sometimes…

Sometimes all you need in life is that special someone who has immense faith in you and makes you realise that even the worst of you will be replaced by something better. Sometimes all you need is that special someone who cheers you up on days you are barely proud of yourself. Someone who helps you be the best version of yourself.

At times you need someone who understands you more than you understand yourself. He stands by you no matter what the situation be, even in the darkest times of your life. Sometimes all you need is that special someone who will always walk beside you no matter how tough life gets. Cherish such people in your life.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life, The Untold Story

2190 Days Without You!

It is again the 1st of February. The most dreaded day of my life. The day I wish never shows up on the calendar. The day I want to be deleted forever! This was the very day I lost my mother, or I should say my life.

So, on a very precise note, 2190 days without you and it feels like an entire lifespan. So tough it was to believe that I will never be able to hug you, kiss you hear you; but eventually, I learned to live with this truth of my life. It hits hard at times trust me, not at all something I will able be able to cope with my entire life. But that is how it goes I guess. Somehow, with time you get the strength to cope with the loss.

Death indeed is the saddest reality of life. The one and the only thing which shivers me from inside. Today, after around 2190 days without you, I feel like your memories are my life’s only solace. Needless to say, how much I miss your presence, I would certainly not be exaggerating if I say your absence kills me from inside. 2190 days is a fairly long span of time. But I still feel if it’s just yesterday when the entire chain of events took the life out of me in just a few hours. My life was no longer worth living, it felt meaningless. No matter whatever I do to move away from this pain; my heart knows that it is a task which I will never be successful at. This void will never be filled and it is never-ending grief I will have to live with all throughout my life.

Deep down in my heart, I will always know that I can never hug you again. That feeling kills me each second. After I lost you, mourning has become a way of life for me. The beautiful memories we spent together make me smile; only till the time I realize you are no longer here. I miss you so so much, I wish I could ever do something for you, I wanted to take all your pain away. I wish I could do all that which made you happy. Time was never benevolent enough to give me a chance. Your death was a tough lesson to me that life is so uncertain. I wish destiny had this lesson conveyed to me in a different manner.

Today as I pen down my feelings, I realize why you always wished I was strong; because you knew that one day I would be needing the strength to bear your loss. I so wish to meet you to see you one last time. Things like these are very difficult to express in words. With the great amount of agony I have in me, my heart still remains empty without you. Your death came as a terrible black hole in my life which has engulfed each and every bit of my happiness. Loneliness, nostalgia and melancholy are my forever companions now. Your absence has made me lifeless. Wish I could really turn the tide of events and change the present.

ShadesOfLife