VULNERABILITY – This word carries so much weight for me. When I think about the most powerful, transformational moments in my life, they are moments when I truly allowed myself to be vulnerable. When I stepped outside of my fears and decided to pursue something I believed in. When I chose to no longer be silenced and spoke up for those who needed a voice of their own.⠀
Choosing vulnerability has shaped my career and the interactions I have with people I work with. I’ve learned that it’s one of the scariest things in the world, but when we choose to let people see us — unfiltered and raw — we grow in ways we never imagined.⠀
“Live like the lotus, at ease in muddy water.”
Do you see how the lotus flower seems to be glowing within? The lotus only grows in muddy water. Do you see the lesson there? Let’s not let the muck in our lives suffocate us, let’s use it to grow and bloom and glow.
Life is just like a beach, where every grain of sand is a small little moment. You are quite busy in searching for shells and oysters and you don’t realize that you have in turn converted it into a dump yard.
Slowly and gradually, that dump yard starts emitting expectations. Expectations from all those people who’ll be leaving you in the upcoming days or months; alone, on the edge of drowning into the water you were supposed to swim in.
But you know what, life is not this. It’s meeting people, talking to them and never meeting them again. I know it’s strange but that is how it is. Life is all about those small moments, the unexpected responses after your tale, the hugs and tears they give you, without even knowing your name.
Life is about a partner you share this loneliness with, for a day or for any random event. It’s about talking to them, when you know deep within that you won’t see them again, ever. Strangers can connect so much and gradually with every passing day become strangers, again.
It’s actually eye-opening, the way life is not just about those relations that are there for you. It’s also about being with some unknown and random people, building these bonds that don’t tangle and then simply leaving it there, with lots of memories.
Frankly speaking, there are no rules in life. You can trust what you want to and easily change those beliefs when you wish. You are not defined by your past and you can change it when you want! It is most important to follow what makes you happy. Even in relationships, there is no need to feel miserable. You cannot be with someone for life and it needs a strong conviction. It is tough to believe that you will probably never hear from this person again and unfulfilled love is indeed soul-crushing. But not everything is meant to go your way. Many people are not destined to be together and you simply cannot deny that fact.
These days I’ve been so much more at peace with myself, I am happy where I’m at and I believe it’s better to let things move forward in their own direction. You can’t simply force things on others. A lot of people, I had issues with, are no longer there in my life. Many new people have come in and are strong pillars of support. I am allowing both, the opportunities and the people who are meant for me to come my way and to let go all that what isn’t. I’ve learned to recognize when I’m being negative towards myself and how to raise myself up instead and turn things around.
All the change that you want to see, starts with you. If you want to change anything in the external world, the first step you need to take is change what is inside you first. You can love yourself and be your biggest supporter, mentor, motivator or believer; and at the same time, you can curse yourself for every mistake of yours and be your own critic because that is what the society has taught you.
Life is like a boxing match wherein defeat is declared not when you fall but when you fail to get up. Every single setback that you come across in life has some purpose. They help you grow to your best self. Know and claim your inner power, peace and purpose. Pull on your socks and get going because only you can know your true worth.
Sometimes you are not tired, you are simply done. Done with people! At times I feel as if the events around me have a life of their own, and no matter how hard I try to mould them into a better form it is all going to be a waste of time – so it is worthless to even try. Life is too short to deal with battles that are pointless. So it is way better to leave some things on God and go with the flow!
It is true that when loves goes wrong, nothing goes right. Super strong emotion such as jealousy is ultimately temporary. All you need to do is watch it come and leave. You do not need to react to it. As far as quitting is concerned, rest assured not to worry about being labeled a quitter, as there is a hell lot of difference between giving up and resigning yourself so that you can finally accept things as they are.
When you feel everything is going wrong, remember that it is temporary. The phase will eventually pass and it is not the bad times that define you rather it’s your approach that does. Write about it and vent out your frustrations. Acknowledge the fact that life has different plans at times so do not be at the end of your tether. Overthinking will certainly destroy your mood so it is better to let go.
Some things are hard to let go. Somethings have a habit of coming back and one of which is true love. Giving up on your loved one would mean giving up on a part of ourselves.
I have always felt that when it comes to love, you could always make some changes, fill in the cracks, build a new foundation may be to cover up the old, but you cannot simply ignore the fact that the scarring will always be there no matter what. And trust me, true love comes back. May be after quite a long time but it does.
Think of it this way! Remember the best slice of the juiciest and yummiest pizza that you have ever eaten? Were you not disappointed every time you had a bite of an entirely different pizza which doesn’t even match to it? Same is the case with love. Life is full of letdowns. When you start seeing someone new, you would obviously compare him with the “best you ever had.” Understanding how much you love someone may take time. You can spend hours, months and even years together without completely appreciating what that person means to you. And you only get to know the worth of that person when he is gone. When you lose someone whom you once loved, you may realise that life without him simply doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to.
When there is a love so deep that you can’t let it go, the world conspires and brings it back to you. If this person affects your day-to-day decision-making, then with each decision you find yourself one step closer to your true love. In the case of love, you need to have a little bit of faith, and trust me, miracles do happen.
Love is not synonymous with pain and the day you realise this will be the day you accept the person who treats you right! It will be the day you let real love in, one which brings butterflies in your stomach and gives you a heart pump the moment you catch a glimpse of them. It is a love which comes in smiles and laughs and causes an ache in your stomach when you both are together. It is a love which makes you the best version of you, which believes in you when you stop believing in yourself. A love that smiles at you even when life is tough and tells you that “it will all be fine because I have faith in you.”
Love is beautiful when felt for the right person. There is a place in my heart where a part of you will always be a part of me. This is love and when you realise love is not painful, that day you will welcome it in its entirety.
Here are a few noteworthy dialogues from the Bollywood movie Kalank. The movie was not a great one though, but the dialogues are worth sharing which would for sure stay with you.
“When someone’s destruction seems like our victory then there is no one in the world who is as devastated as us.”
“The colour of love and hatred both are red but the difference is that in hatred the world gets destroyed and in love you have to destroy yourself. Still love is the one that gets defamed.”
“Some relationships are like debts. You don’t have to fulfill them, instead you have to repay them.”
“You’ll find thousands of reasons in the market of fear for not falling in love, but you have to search for only one reason in your own heart to fall in love.”
“Hope only makes you wait. It doesn’t change the reality.”
Quite funny indeed. We know not what destiny wants from us. When we meet someone it is tough to figure out whether it is destiny, coincidence or pure luck. Same is the case when we lose someone, no matter be it a broken relationship or the loss of a person due to unexpected death, the hardest part to deal with and experience is the vacuum of loss that is felt in the heart.
It feels as if all of a sudden a very important and significant part of our life, which is the most essential for us is taken away. There can be no immediate replacement. What is left behind is a big void. An empty space, a black hole which we simply cannot have any idea of. We start feeling hollow, it is a feeling like suddenly our hearts have been taken away from us. And trust me, this feeling is deadly.
What destiny wants is a question no one has an answer to, but I wish there was an answer to this. Some times you love a person with all your heart and do all the possible things you can to keep him in your life but destiny has other plans for you. You have to leave them because they are not destined to be in your life. And leaving is not easy, especially when you love someone. It’s not tough to leave people behind, it ‘s their memories that haunt.
It’s true when said – ” Tumse milna ittefaq tha, bichadna naseeb.” In English – “Meeting you was a mere coincidence, parting ways was destiny.” But I guess you keep learning when life unfolds itself and evolve during the process.
What destiny wants cannot be known before hand. This reminds me of a famous English couplet that says, “It’s fate that flings the dice and when it flings/ Of kings makes peasants and of peasants makes kings.” True indeed!
Loving yourself can be an incredibly difficult thing to do at times, you need to undo self hate and take hold of the concept of self love. Self love, I feel is a very abstract concept. It is not a single go-to destination. You may feel you are right there but then all of a sudden something happens and you begin to hate yourself. It happens and it is quite Normal. You can actually have bad days when you don’t love yourself and feel quite sad and hopeless.
You may constantly push yourself for self love but the thing is that there is no absolute solution for it. If you begin to love yourself, it is not like you will begin loving others as well. Loving your own self won’t make you love other people. On an ending note, all I want to highlight is that I love people who struggle everyday with self hate. You truly deserve all the love from others and you should be aware that you know who to love others beautifully despite not loving your own selves.
I do not hate the concept of self love, but what I dislike is the ambiguity of it which is used to make generalized statements to make people who struggle with loving themselves feel bad. We have a complicated relation with love and ourselves. Saying “no one can love you if you cannot love yourself is short-sighted and makes people feel inadequate.”
Human relations are not so black and white. I was loved when I was at my worst by people who I don’t believe I deserve but they loved me anyway. I have loved people when I hated myself badly, those people who think they do not deserve my love but I loved them anyway. In this big world nothing is so cut and dry as human relations.