Today, I learnt an important lesson from my therapist.
At the end of our hour, she told me that although I’ve been hurt and broken badly, she can see I still have parts that aren’t shattered.
I laughed lightly and I said ‘Yeah, one day that will be all of me, no parts shattered anymore”, And she said ‘No, it won‘t.”
And, for a second, I felt my heart break but she continued. “But it will be the most dominant part of you. Think of your body if you break your shoulder, even after it heals it will be tender. It will be a sore spot. You will be careful with it. There will be a gentleness when you care for it. If you crack a rib, laughing will hurt and, even after there is no longer a fracture, you may laugh lighterjust in case. You can heal, but it is okay to be aware of the parts of you that once hurt the most. The most important thing to know is that where there is tenderness, let there be gentleness.”
Fear has two meanings-
Forget Everything And Run
Face Everything And Rise.
It is entirely upto you which one you would want to choose. Break out of your comfort zone. Remember, the cave you fear to enter, holds the comfort you seek.
So, this is a story I had read somewhere which explains life perfectly. One day, it so happened that a girl in the class laughed as she saw the teacher write a wrong answer on the board. The school teacher wrote on the board the following –
2×1 = 2
2×2 = 5
2×3 = 6
2×4 = 8
2×5 = 10
2×6 = 12
2×7 = 14
2×8 = 16
2×9 = 18
2×10 = 20
When the teacher was done writing, he looked on the board and saw all the students laughing because he wrote the second equation wrong. He then said “ I wrote the second equation wrong intentionally because I wanted you all to learn something from this. “
He said, “This is for you to know how the world outside will treat you. I wrote correct answers 9 times, but none of you congratulated me. One wrong answer, and you laughed so bad. “
Here is the lesson – The world will never appreciate the good you do a million times but will criticize you for one wrong thing that you do. But stay strong and rise above the criticism.
This reminds me of a quote –
Once I did bad and that I heard ever, Twice I did good, but that i heard never.”-Dale Carnegie
Friedrich Nietzsche in this statement says that when you go through tough times, you gradually build up the strength for the next painful event. In case of a trauma, it may be quite a comforting thought. But most importantly, how do you feel about this statement? Does it resonate with you, or does it sound cliched?
It can be viewed as a war wound, to heal from a really bad time feeling more powerful and ready to take on the next battle. But with me, that is not quite the case. Especially after rough days and tough times, I find myself weaker and more sad. For me the quote goes like – What doesn’t kill you hurts you incredibly and makes you vulnerable and pathetic.
At times, it happens that a few tough situations help in becoming a stronger person. But the really big things, the things that totally altered my life without my consent, the loss of my most loved ones, the horrible experience of being desperately lonely or panic-stricken with anxiety and such other times have bought nothing empowering in me. I’ve felt my heart shatter into pieces and my soul dry, but I never felt stronger after those days. I was only happy that they were over.
I personally feel that strength doesn’t come from life’s worst moments, rather it comes from the best. Whenever I am loved, I feel strong. I find strength in the times when I’ve been most generous and caring. I find strength when I am able to deal well with the bad days. But I feel weak when I face those gloomy bad days. So with me, what doesn’t kill me, does not make me stronger, rather it makes me more weaker and snatches the entire energy out of my existence.
Sometimes the most purest form of love you will find on earth is unexpected love. In such a case, you are not looking for some one to complete you, you are not in search of some one to fill the void, you are just not broken and neither are you looking for a rebound.
One fine day, out of nowhere you meet someone. You know you weren’t looking for him and neither were you expecting him. But you met him and you are happy you did. There is always one lustrous moment just before you realize you have fallen in love and you feel a strong force just like a tornado or a whirlpool which is strong and fierce, yet amazingly inviting.
At times, we feel immense peace in the people we meet on our way because our souls have suffered so much chaos and it feels so much better and peaceful just to talk to them and see them smile. You actually feel very happy when you are around them because they are your inspiration to live. Despite all your flaws and failures, they inspire you to be your true self. They are your soulmates because they have seen the worst in you. They are by your side because they have faith in you and believe that the goodness will always lead you the way. You may have a bumpy ride with them, but these are the people who never leave, who always stick by your side.
Today I will be sharing this little piece that I had seen somewhere in a video. So there was this Aghori Baba on the ghats of the Ganges in Benaras who was in deep meditation. A random person asked him how long have you been meditating, to which he replied that had been meditating for 38 years but he had been a Baba for 50 years.
The person told him that he too wanted to learn how to meditate. The Baba asked him what was his favorite food, to which he replied that it was chocolate. The Baba then asked if he had ever tried to give it up and he agreed but added that he couldn’t last more than 10 days. What Aghori Baba then said was something worth noting. He said that – If you can’t control something what you can see, then how can you control something that you can’t see.
Sometimes you need to give something up as it is good for the body and at times you have to give something up as it is good for the mind. Give up something and each day you stay away from it, is a reminder as to how mentally strong you are.