Life is just like a beach, where every grain of sand is a small little moment. You are quite busy in searching for shells and oysters and you don’t realize that you have in turn converted it into a dump yard.
Slowly and gradually, that dump yard starts emitting expectations. Expectations from all those people who’ll be leaving you in the upcoming days or months; alone, on the edge of drowning into the water you were supposed to swim in.
But you know what, life is not this. It’s meeting people, talking to them and never meeting them again. I know it’s strange but that is how it is. Life is all about those small moments, the unexpected responses after your tale, the hugs and tears they give you, without even knowing your name.
Life is about a partner you share this loneliness with, for a day or for any random event. It’s about talking to them, when you know deep within that you won’t see them again, ever. Strangers can connect so much and gradually with every passing day become strangers, again.
It’s actually eye-opening, the way life is not just about those relations that are there for you. It’s also about being with some unknown and random people, building these bonds that don’t tangle and then simply leaving it there, with lots of memories.
In life there comes a point when we either feel too much or nothing at all. We try to ignore our feelings because we think feeling the same thing for a while will end up giving pain to our own heart. We gradually begin suppressing things, because expressing would not make the situation any better. You may get a hand to shake but not a ear to express your fears, your flaws or emotions. Since the very beginning, we have been taught to make ourselves valuable in front of everyone but not vulnerable.
At times, we hide our tears as if it is a bomb that would explode the city which lies inside us. But there are cities which are laid to dust yet built again. In reality, the point is that some feelings are like birds, they are happy when we let them fly rather than cage them in our heart.
We humans are nothing but a soul full of emotions. It is completely okay to cry. Unless you cry openly, you will not be able to laugh properly. Cry your fucking heart out and unleash the burden of your feelings. Crying does not make you weak, it only saves you from being a living corpse.
One-sided love is one of the worst things that can happen. After confessing your feelings and getting a negative response from the other side, is it possible to stay as friends? Still being friends is a statement that destroys you over and over again. The question is can you still stay as friends after you have loved someone immensely?
He said we can still be friends but what I don’t understand is how can I look at him when someone else is holding his hand? I can hear my own heart sting with pain shattering into a million pieces so loudly that it deafens me, then how can I look at him when he is walking hand in hand with someone else. How can we still be friends when I have to hide my tears when he talks of her?
I guess he meant we can stay as strangers with distant memories that we don’t remember unless we see them in old pictures. But the fact is we simply can’t be friends when your voice hurts me and it reminds me of all those times we spent together. How can you look at someone you love while that person loves somebody else? Friends don’t look at each other wishing they were something more.
A lot many times it happens that you simply want to forget someone. But that doesn’t happen. You might have moved on, it is an entirely different concept, but it doesn’t mean you have forgotten the person. You do not forget them. They stay in the back of your head all the time. The memories may blur with time but you can not forget them who taught you how to love.
Such people live with you forever. They are a part of your existence, a part of you. With time the wounds may heal, you may not see tears in your eyes when you see their pictures or hear their name. But in the back of your mind, you know they still exist and will do forever. You gradually accept the fact that you cannot forget them and you won’t and you begin living with it. That is a name which has been printed on your soul, stitched in your veins and is running in your blood.
With love comes the fear of loss. The undeniable fear of losing your loved one. Just the thought of not having them by your side one day hangs heavy like a grey cloud above your head. The thought that certain events may unfold which will lead to parting ways causes an immense pain inside you just like a burning sensation.
With Love comes vulnerability, trust, loyalty and the possibility that these things mean taking pieces from your soul and giving it over to the person you love. With love you become aware of the fact that losing them will eventually cause you relentless pain. You know that if they leave you, a huge part of you, will leave your side too.
But at the same time, with loving someone comes smiles, laughs and happy tears which you will remember for lifetime. You feel an incredible peace, a peace, that you know you will never be able to find again. With loving someone comes serenity, contentment, understanding and a friendship which will never leave you feeling cold. No matter how far you go, you know you will never forget those days.
With love comes fear, sure but it is also accompanied by a fearlessness that you didn’t know you could summon. There comes a happiness which stays, and believe me when I say that, because it does stay!
Be brave to be alone. By alone I mean not depending on someone else for your happiness, by alone I mean a future where your goals rely on you, by alone I mean strolling on a beach barefoot with sand between your feet and winds rustling past your face.
Be brave enough to love yourself. Love yourself enough to walk away, say no when you have had too much, smile at your own reflection when life feels grim. Be brave enough to be there for your own self. Have the power to wipe your own tears when you have no one beside you but a human-sized ache resting next to you. Hold your falling pieces together because if you don’t then you will fall apart and there will be no one to save you.
Be brave enough to be the right person for yourself because if you are brave to do what’s right for you, then you will never feel lonely even when you are alone.