Posted in The Untold Story

I Feel You…

I wonder if I’d have shouted my love for you from the rooftops, maybe the birds would have heard me, maybe they would’ve echoed it to the stars.

The stars would then share my love for you with the moon and the moon would undoubtedly pour my heart out to God. And maybe, maybe then in God’s voice you would have understood how much I love you. There aren’t enough letters in each alphabet of every language to explain how I feel about your existence. To explain how I feel about you.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

In a Room Full of People…

I don’t know how loneliness works. What does it ask for? Just someone or someone specific. I may never be one of those people who can walk into a room full of strangers and still find a friend. I will never be someone whose phone beeps all the time because the world just can’t get enough of me. I can never be someone not lonely. I can never be someone trying to be less lonely. Maybe because I crave for something that the world knows nothing of. Something that only a man of words can read but never loud enough, but only in my words.

The only reason I’d walk in a room full of strangers would be to be one. To stand there and be no one, nothing, and everything. I don’t know how lonliness works, maybe it is me. I am my alone, my lonliness, my stranger. I hardly know who I am, and yet I am surrounded by people so full of who they are. It is lonely, this world, because everyone wants be not-lonely. I don’t understand that if people are supposed to be the cure of lonliness, why I feel the lonliest in a room full of people.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

I Did Not Know…

I did not know
how to love myself
and love you
at the same time

I could either give it all
to you
Or all
to me.

If I split it down
the middle
we were both left
with too little.
And I have never
Been one
to disappoint.

The problem with
Being in love
Is that you have no clue
How to love somebody
Without replacing your entire
Self worth on them.

If they love you,
You love you.

If they leave,
Your self esteem
Goes with them.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Feel the Feelings!

Feel the feelings,

The ones you can’t explain,

The ones where you know what you know,

But you don’t know why or how.

Feelings that have no words.

The ones not found in any dictionary and any language.

The ones that often whisper lies to you.

The ones impossible to ignore.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Ending…

Hope is a song i wrote for you,
now i’m stripping it off lyric by lyric.

Misery is a nothing-town sleeping
over the grave of heartbreaks.
you’re misery.
i’m that grave.

Falling for someone is standing
on the edge
and dancing with the devil.
whoever falls first, wins.
My feet are bleeding.
I lost, like I always do.

Staying back is like winning
a lottery, but
only when they want you to stay.
you don’t want me to, do you?

Asking you to stay is like
keeping my heart in a blender
and handing it over to you.
Rest is our history, shattered.

But look,
i won’t disappoint.
s(t)ay, i am a fool.
s(t)ay, you love me.
s(t)ay, we will survive.
s(t)ay, you want us to work.
s(t)ay, i’m hopeless.
s(t)ay, it’s me who needs to leave.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

It’s You 24*7…

My thoughts very often sprint in circles. Always falling back to the place they began from.
All triggered at the
slightest touch of reality
and imagination both.

What was that you last said?
I keep trying to recall for
your first goodbye wasn’t our last.
You come and go.
You come and go.

Tell me if there’s an end to this,
I’d want to try that because
this feels as if you holding
a knife right in front my chest.
Tell me what does it do.
Tell me why do you this.

Wondering is a part of our being.
And our being is another
wonder to the nature.
I think and think and think hard
and harder because
circles have no corners
or edges to press pause for a while.
They keep running and the
wondering never stops.
As though it were you.
I can’t think anymore.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Why are You so Special?

Maybe because you came into my life when I least expected a miracle to happen to me to save me from my own chaos, or maybe because you came with a torch in my life full of darkness, or maybe because you never left my side even when many already did, or maybe because of your gentle care that you always give me, or maybe because you’re the only person who understands my mood just by listening to my tone of speech, or maybe.. maybe l don’t know that why you’re so special to me because you’re itself a special, too much precious person to me and even a lifetime won’t be enough for me to describe your worth, and how stupendously special you are to me.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

You have Become a Habit!

At the end of a long day, I think about you again. You’ve become a habit now, the most pronounced sound in my almighty wretchedness. In this room of ephemeral solitude, we sit and listen to each other silence. No words are spoken here. Like always.

Time stands still and starts evaporating. I’m told a wise man once said nothing. I understand the beauty in his existence. And that in ours. We fall prey to the quietness inside us, a tranquil passage to what we can but might never be.

There is poetry in the way we love. I move my lips on your fragility, every murmur an earthquake. Your breath falls soundlessly on my skin, the night watching us become stories, hiding us away in between the pages of these years.

What more can we ever share, now that we’ve shared a silence?

ShadesofLife

Posted in Every Picture Speaks

Photographs…

We collect memories like raindrops on the palm of our hand
My mother once told me that a moment lived in happiness is far more precious than anything else.
I guess that’s why she hated being photographed.
In my home you will see the walls are bare.
We don’t have frames lined up that show smiling faces and people laughing in a pretty background.
Maybe it’s cause my mom believed that a moment is not complete till you can capture its essence in its entirety and photographs fall short in telling the truth cause we would rather smile and hide the pain, lies and emptiness that is often reflected in our eyes.

After her demise, we had to try hard to find a photo of her’s
She’s not smiling in that
There is this half smile on her lips, but I wonder if I saw the stories in her eyes, stories that are laughing, crying, angry, stories that are alive and the stories that now have died with her.
I like taking pictures. I don’t know if I am scared of being forgotten or want to just be remembered as a story.
I wonder when people say that we stay alive in memories,
do they actually mean it or it’s just a lie to comfort ourselves.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Nights…

I have always loved the darkness of nights.
I am not a morning person.
I would instead lay on the roof, star gazing and playing a favourite piece of music than basking in the morning sun.
I love nights, for it restores numbed zones of feeling and recharges desire.
In all the magnanimity of thoughts, it makes me wonder how the roads are easily lost.
I love nights, for the endless conversations I have had with my loved ones and also for the heartwrenching sobs.
Along with the fading of night, I think of more such things as to how the clouds snatched his sun
from him.
Asleep,
Until next night.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

Funny Memory

Memory is a strange thing if you ask me. How many times I’ve entered a room and found myself staring at the wall, not knowing what I came there for.


They say that warning sirens ring just moment before we drown. But you see I’m like Titanic that took 180 minutes to drown. And I’ve been drowning for the past numerous days. Ask a lover and you’ll know that memory is a strange thing. And whenever I’ve tried to let you in it you’ve always clawed your way out and resisted to get back in.


It’s been days since I felt any kind of moisture in my eyes. They say when the heart becomes heavey our eyes let the pain out. But maybe that’s the problem I don’t wanna let it out, none of it. Maybe the pain is a part of loving you. And maybe that’s why no matter how far I go, I’ll always return to this feeling of your presence. Somewhere, deep in me where I’ll sit and let all the memories dissolve into me.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Forever Love ❤️

Do people always fall in love with the things they can’t have?

Always!

There’re nights when I keep rolling on and over the bed. Sleep doesn’t hit me easily. Whatever life that’s left within me, feels barely alive.
My blanket feels heavier than usual.
I scroll through the feed and every face reminds me of your smile, every text reminds me of your voice. “Forget and move on,” they say. How can we move on from someone who became a reason to live for? I try to keep my mind occupied. Books, TV, music or at the least emptiness, everything asks me to run up to to you and tell you that I miss you.

I sometimes wonder, if the one you share your morning coffee with knows the amount of sugar you want in it? If he knows you like toasts with jam and not butter? If he knows your favourite show is Tom n’ Jerry? And if he knows to love me like you?

I want to laugh, I don’t know-how. I want to cry, I don’t know why. The heart doesn’t want to forget you, the mind doesn’t know to forget you. And it’s me, dying every day, slowly like a candle, melting away.

People always want the things they know they can’t possess. Love is a strange emotion. It’s the reason to live for and then it’s the reason to die for.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

In Some Parallel Universe…

And in some parallel universe
He is mine for the rest of our lives.

And in some parallel universe,
Every morning I get to see his face before I see the sun.

And in some parallel universe,
He calls my name and wakes me up.


And in some parallel universe,
I come home at night all jaded only for him to make every pain fade away with just a smile.

In some parallel universe, I’m dying a happy death as he holds my hand and puts his head on my shoulder, while I breathe and kiss him for one last time.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

I Like my Choices❤️

John Green in all his sparkling brilliance said, “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.”

Maybe, he felt it, maybe, he lived it, maybe, he scribbled it for the sake of darting his readers core once again with his ink of sweet torture.

I do not know, I do not want to know. We’ve had our fair share of love and heartbreaks. But trust me, it doesn’t hurt anymore. For very obvious reasons, you choose a person to own the bigger share of your heart without expecting anything in return. Whether he preserves it, caresses it or moulds it into a trash can, you still keep your lesser half inside the can. The memories won’t haunt you. Rather, they would become a much sweeter version of nightmares which you’d want to live everyday. And everytime it’d sting, you’d smile.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

You Got Lucky!

You did not lose, you got lucky. You got lucky enough to meet someone who showed you that there were souls within this universe that felt as deeply, and cared as feverishly, as you did.

You did not lose, you got lucky. You got lucky because you met someone who, for a moment in time, was able to squeeze all of your broken pieces back together. You got lucky. Lucky enough to meet someone who plucked anxiety out of your chest like splinters, who poured calm into the parts of you that no one else clapped for.

No, you did not lose — you got lucky. You got lucky because time did not choose to separate you. You got lucky. Lucky enough to have found them, to have experienced them, to have been given the opportunity to love them the way you loved them.

But sometimes, sometimes people come into our lives and they love us like hurricanes — making us question if we feel too deeply, if we are simply too much to hold. The hardest lesson you will ever have to learn is that this too is a gift. To have been loved in halves is to have been loved by someone who taught you how to walk away. How to choose yourself for once, how to stand up for your worth. At the end of the day, they may not have loved you, but they did teach you how to survive the wreckage, how to endure the storm, and how to rebuild.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Embrace Your Chaos!

The biggest battles that we will ever fight, are the battles inside our own heads. They take place when we are the most vulnerable and totally alone. We face them alone , we fight them alone and we conquer them alone. Somethings are just meant to be this way , and you might wish that you may never have to face them. But to be honest, these battles make us who we are and they are essential and without those scars we won’t be able to recognise ourselves. Without those wounds , we won’t be the same.

Whenever chaos knocks on your door, just embrace it; because that’s the best we can do.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Cheers to 2019!

When I first started the year, I wasn’t in the best mindset. Like I had no idea where I was headed, and I just wanted to stop for a while. I wanted to rest and let the world go ahead without me while I took time to figure myself out. It’s crazy. Everything looks rose-tinted to a spectator, the grass is greener on the other side but only the person living that life knows what they’re going through.

All I wanted was peace. I was losing my drive, the things that propelled me forward and my dreams. I even lost someone forever who was very close to me. But I would always wish him loads of happiness and success wherever he is.

The previous year brought about a tumultuous change in my life. It’s weird to think that a year ago I had no idea that I would experience the things that I did, that I would meet the people I have, and that I would feel the way that I feel at this moment. This year has given me so much, imprinted a lifetime of memories that I will take with me as I move forward on my journey, the people that I’ve with me have healed me, loved me, encouraged me, improved me and welcomed me with all my imperfections, in my entirety.

I would always pray to God for some people to be by my side lifelong. Without them, I would cease to exist. It’s true that some people transform your life completely with their presence, bringing an abundance of love, happiness and warmth that you let every ounce of your being absorb.

I’m ending the year with my cup brimming with kind people, happiness, memories, smiles and laughter. The weeks, months and years ahead are uncertain but what I am certain of is how I feel at this present moment – happy, driven towards my dreams, and praying that I have the one I love with me always.

And these are the things that I wish for each and every one of you. Welcome happiness and love, welcome risks, new people and adventures, welcome growth, welcome your future. I wish you so much love and light.

Cheers to 2019 & Wish You a Happy 2020!

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

It’s Your Choice!

I know it seems like things will never get better. You feel like you are stuck in your current situation. Life has seemed like more of a battle than a blessing lately, and every time you finally seem to make a breakthrough, life only seems to knock you back down. These are the days that can either destroy or define you, and it is up to you to decide which path you take.

I hope you don’t let it destroy you.
I hope you get back up every time the world expects you to just give up. I hope you never feel like you won’t get any further than you are right now because you have no idea how much more you will grow. You will meet people whose impact will stay with you for years. You will learn what love really is and exactly what it is not. You will finally understand the value of being alone and all of the joy that only you can bring to yourself. You will learn to start living for yourself.

Today may not be your best day, and tomorrow might not be either, but I promise you that one day, you will wake up and realize this is the beginning of everything you have ever wanted.

Please don’t give up on your dreams and the life you always wanted for anyone. It is up to you whether you want to move forward or stand still; but know that if you choose to stay exactly where you are, you will never know how far you could have gone.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Vulnerability!

VULNERABILITY – This word carries so much weight for me. When I think about the most powerful, transformational moments in my life, they are moments when I truly allowed myself to be vulnerable. When I stepped outside of my fears and decided to pursue something I believed in. When I chose to no longer be silenced and spoke up for those who needed a voice of their own.⠀

Choosing vulnerability has shaped my career and the interactions I have with people I work with. I’ve learned that it’s one of the scariest things in the world, but when we choose to let people see us — unfiltered and raw — we grow in ways we never imagined.⠀

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

March On!

Make your pain your motivation. Make your shame your life changing resolve.
The world is not fair and you may feel harassed, demotivated and let down. The more you feel demotivated, the more the cycle of depression will strengthen. Do not.

Do not feel demotivated. Remember your purpose. Understand your position. Chalk a change path that helps you reach back to shape, form and energy. March on till your detractors become your supporters. March on till your most vocal critics bet the next impossible on you. March on.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

You Only Live Once!

Do not burn self. Burning self is not a badge of honor. Go create self. Go earn your honor.


Life is not to be wasted in regrets. Do not be surrounded by useless things and clueless friends. Do not think waste or consume what you regret. Give your middle finger to everything negative—jealousy, heartburn, and self-pain.


Life doesn’t come to us. We have to be worthy of life that should come to us. Let’s commit to a positive, meaningful approach to life. Let’s commit to beauty. Let’s commit to the duty of being a better, happier, healthier us.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Let Not Your Past Decide Your Future

There is a story about a person who went to a Zen master and requested him to teach him Zen. The master started pouring tea for his guest. Soon, the teacup was full, but he continued to pour. It started overflowing.

The person told him, “Please stop pouring, don’t you see the cup is full?” The master smiled and said, “You are like the cup. You are already too full. You have to empty your cup before I can teach you Zen.”

Sometimes you have to unlearn what you have learned to see the opportunity in a new light. So it is in the world of business. Business leaders and managers call such an approach by many names — ‘Zero-based budgeting’, where you don’t let the past dictate how to plan for the future; ‘Re-engineering’, where you fundamentally rethink and radically redesign the processes.

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

Awakening

Jesus was not sent here to teach the people built magnificent churches and temples amidst the cold wretched huts. He was sent to make the human heart a temple, the soul an altar and the mind a priest.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Idiosyncrasies

Unapologetically Me!

You do not need to have all the answers to find your meaning in the world. You can take everything in your life slowly and steadily and still have peace, still have growth.

Life doesn’t expect you to know it all. All it needs is that you be yourself. Grow in your own way without judging yourself, without comparing yourself.

Life bought you here to be you. Unapologetically you!

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

Earrings

Just as you wear your earrings penetrating your skin,

Similarly your feelings pierced inside my heart.

No doubt it made my soul look adorable just as your face,

But it hurt every single time you tried to detach it.

I thought you wore it as a symbol of your pride and existence,

But I was fooled until you changed it.

Then I realized you have one for every occasion.

I realized what remained constant was the hole on your earlobe and the hole in my heart.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

My Blessings Sound Like Your Name…

If someone would ask me to write the name of a person who loves me and cares for me selflessly, my heart will not think twice before shooting your name.

You care for me like my mother. Checking my timely meals and getting annoyed when I don’t sleep on time. It’s like in this world full of fake people I have you in the form of an invisible shield.

Your “No Strings Attached” tag should someday be removed. I know you are my lover and my life and I can’t thank you enough for your selflessness. I have heard a lot about blessings and it just sounds like your name.

ShadesofLife

Posted in In A Nut Shell

Hope is All I Have…

Hope is everywhere. In love, ” I hope it never ends. ” In hurt, ” I hope it gets better. ” In happiness, ” I hope it lasts. ” In sadness, ” I hope it ends soon. ” In hate, ” I hope karna screws that person. ” In leaving, ” I hope to see you again. “

In waking up, ” I hope I have a great day. ” In eating, ” I hope it tastes good. ” In starving, ” I hope I lose weight. ” In birth, ” I hope this child lives a great life. ” In death, ” I hope the soul rests in peace. “

Hold on to this thread of hope and never let it break.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

You Will Be Fine…

You will have some bad days, weeks and may be months. But you will have to understand that happiness comes in waves and there has never been an ocean totally frozen.

It may get worse, but believe that eventually it will get better. It always does. Your growth is not defined by your bad days, you are not defined by your bad days. Take all the time you need to strive from the place you are in now. Everything is temporary and even the darkest times will pass. You will be fine, remember that.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Free…

If I could leave everything and just fly,

No questions asked, no answers, no goodbye.

Over hilltops, oceans, trees and the blue sky,

Seeing things from a different perspective which I have never seen before.

Not a care of what is for me in store.

Just in the moment,

Me and the blue sky,

No questions asked, no answers, no goodbye…

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Let me Stay…

I wish I could wipe off all your pain and solve all your problems. Those crumbling your heart and keeping you awake at night. Those which fade away your smile and make you feel as if you have the burden of the world on your shoulders.

I may not be able to fix anything but I can be the shoulder you can put your head on when your worries are too much to bear. I can be your solace and listen to all that is bottled within you, the one who will never judge you, the one who will always care for you.

Though I cannot mend what broke you but I will always be there for you. So let me stay while you heal.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

Unsaid Words Hurt The Most..

Love is painful and frightening. It makes you judge yourself and distance yourself from other people in your life. It makes you selfish, creepy and cruel. It makes you do things you never thought you would ever do.

Love is not something that weak people do. In fact, it needs a lot of courage and hope. Same is the case when you part with the one you love the mostest.

I was always bad at saying goodbyes. It’s like you are at the edge of the cliff and you have to jump. The worst part is making the choice to do it and once you are in the air, you can do nothing but let go.

ShadesofLife

Posted in The Untold Story

How Did I Know it was Him?

How did I realize it was him out of all the people I met? Well, he is not someone who can be spotted easily in crowds, not one who will be found in noisy streets. He is the kind of man they usually don’t write about now-a-days.

He will help you clean the dishes when you are overburdened with work. He will hold you tight when you are crying. He helps you collect your pieces together when you feel all shattered. I love him because he is not at all afraid to tell me what hurts him the most. He is the one who accepts me the way I am, accepts my flaws like they are stars that shine on his sky.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Look for The Bright Side in Every Event

Whatever you think, you become. Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe what you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted.

If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue getting what you have always got. If you want different results in life, all you have to do is change your mind.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Do All Wishes Come True?

“And then you meet someone and you life changes forever.”

It always haunts me how our time together is running out like grains of sand from my clenched fists. The clock is ticking so fast. I so much want to hold you a bit longer, a bit more tight and how I wish this moment doesn’t become past tense. But do all wishes come true?

I know not what future has in store for us but believe me when I say there will be no day when you will not cross my mind and no second when I will not think of you. My time will halt, to cherish you. Need I say more?

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Conquer your Fears

When you fear something, you can wrestle with it, flee from it or rise above it like a plane soaring above the cloud. Next time you feel afraid, move through the clouded experience until your awareness breakes into the bright open sky that exists just beyond that thought, feeling or sensation.

Remember, you are the captain of your attention.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Love is Eternal

Love – a feeling which is quite difficult to define. It cannot be summed up in a sentence, paragraph or even a book for that matter.

Some may say it’s friendship, some say it’s selflessness, some say it’s purely trust. Though the definition may vary, what remains constant is that love is eternal. You are lucky because you have someone who loves you. ❤

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

Mindset…

The only difference between the successful and unsuccessful is mindset. The only difference between the happy and unhappy is mindset. The only thing that can make or break your life is mindset.

Your mind is the most powerful computer in this world. Learn to use it to your advantage.

ShadesofLife

Posted in Shades of Life

Being Human…

When you ask someone to shrug off with their depression, you simply make their condition less trivial and ignore their pain. For people fighting depression, cheering up is not quite easy. So, be a bit kinder to them.

If someone opens up to you regarding their suicidal thoughts, take them seriously before it’s too late. And please don’t make a joke of it because it’s hurtful and insensitive. If you find this is something a lot that I am asking for, please try and walk a mile in their shoe for a day. Trust me you will realize. You will know that the shoes are so heavy that you will fall before you even take a step.

Be patient, be thoughtful, be kind, be human!

ShadesofLife

Posted in Life Lessons

It’s Your Journey…

The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest. This is only because they do not wish to see anyone else suffering the way they did. Stop judging people.

Be grateful for what you have in life. Do not compare yourself with others. Your journey is yours and you have no idea what the other person has gone through.

ShadesofLife